Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1 |
My husband and I have been married for three years now. Our marriage has already been rocky for several reasons. In December of 2011 my then 21 yr old step daughter moved in with her father and I claiming she could not live with her mom and step dad because treated her mom wrong. At first everything went great. Because of the age difference between my husband and I she and I were more like sisters than stepmother stepdaughter or so I thought. As long as I was dishing out money when she needed it, taking my time to clean up after her and her pregnant dog she brought with her, and pretty much dropping when i was doing because she needed me she turned. She blew up one day because when she came home from her boyfriends house which is where she stays every weekend she text her dad and blew up. She told him the house was a mess and that he should come home to a spotless house since he worked and I did not. Now I agree to that if he and my kids are the only three I am cleaning up after and I was not taking 21 hrs a semester to try to complete my education to return to work full time. The mess she was referring to was her clothes I refused to put a way that she tossed on the extra couch before going off on her fun filled weekend. To make a long story short he sided with her and told me I was a bad wife because I confronted her about the stuff. It has escalated to the point that I have left my own home and now this 22 yr old woman has banned me from my house. Yet my husband still sees she did nothing wrong. Now that being said I would never make him choose because that is his only child yet she is also 22 with a job and pays nothing to live in our home. He and I are trying to work our marriage out but she pretty much dictates everything. Its life according to her. I love my husband, but I there is a point when enough is enough. I am in a custody battle off my own and can not afford for anything thing to happen to give my ex ammunition to use against me. Am a I asking to much that he demand his daughter give me respect while living him our home or is that crossing a line?
Kimberly Blackstock
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6 |
My husband and I have been married for three years now. Our marriage has already been rocky for several reasons. In December of 2011 my then 21 yr old step daughter moved in with her father and I claiming she could not live with her mom and step dad because treated her mom wrong. At first everything went great. Because of the age difference between my husband and I she and I were more like sisters than stepmother stepdaughter or so I thought. As long as I was dishing out money when she needed it, taking my time to clean up after her and her pregnant dog she brought with her, and pretty much dropping when i was doing because she needed me she turned. She blew up one day because when she came home from her boyfriends house which is where she stays every weekend she text her dad and blew up. She told him the house was a mess and that he should come home to a spotless house since he worked and I did not. Now I agree to that if he and my kids are the only three I am cleaning up after and I was not taking 21 hrs a semester to try to complete my education to return to work full time. The mess she was referring to was her clothes I refused to put a way that she tossed on the extra couch before going off on her fun filled weekend. To make a long story short he sided with her and told me I was a bad wife because I confronted her about the stuff. It has escalated to the point that I have left my own home and now this 22 yr old woman has banned me from my house. Yet my husband still sees she did nothing wrong. Now that being said I would never make him choose because that is his only child yet she is also 22 with a job and pays nothing to live in our home. He and I are trying to work our marriage out but she pretty much dictates everything. Its life according to her. I love my husband, but I there is a point when enough is enough. I am in a custody battle off my own and can not afford for anything thing to happen to give my ex ammunition to use against me. Am a I asking to much that he demand his daughter give me respect while living him our home or is that crossing a line? Welcome to MB. Have you read this? A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts The Policy Of Joint Agreement
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Now that being said I would never make him choose because that is his only child yet she is also 22 with a job and pays nothing to live in our home. He and I are trying to work our marriage out but she pretty much dictates everything. Its life according to her. I love my husband, but I there is a point when enough is enough. I am in a custody battle off my own and can not afford for anything thing to happen to give my ex ammunition to use against me. Am a I asking to much that he demand his daughter give me respect while living him our home or is that crossing a line? Your husband has made a choice: his adult daughter. He has chosen his adult daughter over your marriage. As long as that is the case, you don't have a marriage.  I would read through this series of articles about blended families here and get the book, His Needs, Her Needs for parents. That has a chapter in it that addresses blended families. Sorry about your situation.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Here are some radio clips from Dr Harley's show about this issue [if they don't play, download firefox and they should play] : Part 1 Part 2 and another here
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
7925,
Please remove your name from your post.
God Bless
Gamma
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
446
guests, and
91
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,511
Members72,004
| |
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
