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4tomorrow � I wouldn�t blame you if you felt hurt and defensive right now. You came here in pain, looking for help and instead you�ve been called an adulteress and a liar. It�s a big deal. No one likes to be aggressively accused of something that they feel isn�t true. If, as you say, you HAVE been totally open and honest with your husband (and yourself) about your affair (not just a �friendship�), then you can thank your accusers for their concern and move on. Thank you so much for your reply, I do understand the skepticism but it does hurt when pointed in my direction. I have read many threads where people try to trickle truth the forum posters and they ALWAYS confess in the end. I didn't want to do that so was as honest as possible about my "affair". I am going to read over your post a few more times as I think you have some good advice. Hoping the books arrive this week so I can get reading and putting my plan in place. And yes, I will run it by here first so that I make sure it is sound. Thank you again BWS71 for taking the time to message me.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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So what were the conditions that made your affair possible?
Do you go to the gym without your BH?
Dr. Harley says eliminate all conditions that allowed your affair possible.
For example, if your affair was allowed over facebook then eliminate facebook.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jul 2012
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I can't get the clips to play  Do you go to the gym without your BH? ]yes, I go to the gym without my husband. He chooses not to go as his need for recreation is much lower than mine
Last edited by Fireproof; 08/27/12 06:33 AM. Reason: TOS -- use of multiple aliases, Sadsam777
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Do you have your flash player updated? Also try downloading firefox. Try this. Trouble listening to radio clips: Try this
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Hi 4Tomorrow! How are you doing?
Would love an update if you have time.
"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen
(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
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4tomorrow, please contact the moderators about the use of multiple aliases. Thank you.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Apparently I was correct about 4tomorrow's unbelievable story. She is the poster sadsam777 according to the mod edit above. She was lying about her "non physical" 3 year affair. Of course, she has told so many lies that there is no telling what is the truth: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=166207&Number=2649904#Post2649904
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Love being lied to.  She's lied to her BH for 30 years, so why would she be truthful to us?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Sadsam,
Let me REPEAT the same advice I offered you MONTHS ago which apparently still rings true:
30 years of this and apparently your no contact ended recently a few weeks ago. 30 years of lies. If you truly love your husband, why not let him go and quit his suffering. I'm not sure you know how to tell the truth even if you wanted.
Seriously... the amount of lies and deceit border mentally ill, you are a danger to your husband and family. I honestly wonder if you need a psychiatrist, not a messageboard or therapy.
Last edited by alis; 09/01/12 05:34 AM.
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I'm not sure you know how to tell the truth even if you wanted. She can't even tell the truth to total strangers who only want to help her. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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