The good thing about it being the 2 year mark is hopefully, you get the trigger over and done with and the next year should start easier sailing!

Hang in there, HHH! You've offered support and wisdom to others (like me) who benefit from you going before...as do the other vets around here. Helping others through this makes you stronger - and makes your marriage stronger too, I'm sure.

We sometimes joke that I am on the 5 year plan... Headed towards 4 and steadily recovering.

Well, dang... I keep hearing it's easier after 2, don't ruin my facade that it's a magical number! LOL

Seriously...I know that things don't just magically get better due to time. Two years is more of a minimum than maximum. BUT...I think if you make it to the two year mark and are still working hard, the future is very promising!

Unfortunately, the sting of infidelity never really goes away - you just manage it. The good news is that the "sting" can keep you on track towards living a better life rather than letting it slip into mediocrity.

I made kind of a vow to myself to share these dips. The reason? Not to discourage, but to add a little enlightenment and hope, believe it or not.

For those that follow, know you are not alone, and no matter how dark the night you will see the day. No matter what, you can make it.

Not trying to ruin anything. The folks that start here have a HUGE head start on us.We were johnny come lately's here (almost 3 years out on our own.)

Had we been here earlier we wouldn't have had to stumble through doing things like we did. I think that recovery for us took longer because of that. The key is what everyone is saying, keep working and moving forward. Progress!

CV

I was just kidding on the "ruining" thing.

At least you stumbled in the right direction, CV!

Moving and checking...right?! That's all we can do! I've often thought how much easier it would be if we could all just put our lives on hold and focus ONLY on recovery for a set period of time. Wouldn't that be great?!! (I esp. thought this after H and I being away by ourselves last week. SO much easier to focus on US!)

Blah.

I made a mistake at work, and compounded it by not following through afterwards... and lost my job. And that compounded my search for new work when reference calls were made.

It's been 2 weeks. Some shining prospects completely fell apart after they called my former employer.

Yes, I've been stressed, but I've been The Rock.

NBG? Bundle of nerves. Waves crashing against The Rock... we've all seen coastal rocks, they can withstand the waves only so long.

Luckily, one person took the time to ask my what happened, and I told her (this is not a "person" it is a potential employer) exactly and honestly that I made a mistake, and then did not follow up as I should have.

So, I start on Monday doing home health.


And... I'm just amping with music...

Sorry to hear about the job, HHH. I am glad you were able to find something else.

Hope all is well otherwise, and glad to hear you were able to hold it together, esp. if NGB has been upset/worried about the job loss.

Sorry about the sucky development, Trip. I know you'll learn from it, grab the new opportunity, and move forward.

Thanks guys.


Nothing really to be "sorry" about, I failed to follow through. My failure, my fault.

The situation wasn't serious, but not following through is.

Take the lump, move ahead.

I know what you are feeling, HHH. I recently had something hit me too like this - not about a job but just paying the consequences for stupid, past stuff. It sucks.

Good for you for being The Rock!!!

Sounds like you have a great attitude about it and will move forward. Live and learn, eh?

A call out to Triple H.

Can you please do a fly by on INTERNAL_PAIN'S thread?

He needs some encouraging words on not having his need for SF met by his WW.

Thank you in advance.

So, this is the update thus far;

Lost a job in Feb, then had 2 by the end of the month; part time in Home Health, and Per diem at a skilled facility.

By the end of March, transitioned into full time at the skilled facility with 20hrs/wk in home health.

So, through most of March and all of April I was working 60+ hours a week, 6 days a week. Bad juju.

This month, I got my Sundays cut back, and gave notice on my weekday case in home health. I finally got my replacement trained last week. So now I'm down to 49hrs/wk, 6 days a week. Rumor has it that we will be layed off the case I do on Sundays for the summer (pediatric client, mother is taking the summer off and will care for her son).

Good stuff.

NGB moved to a different store and department, which was a weight off of me.

I have started a bridge program that will take me from L(ow)P(aid)N(urse) to my BSN. While my interests before were for mental health/psychiatry after my bachelor's, I'm beginning to think I will push for informatics, as I think it will position me with a better schedule as a husband and father.

Luckily, the program is online and at-your-own pace (excluding clinical hours), as I don't think brick-and-mortar classroom is the best thing for now.


Ah... but the BSs wonder; how do you feel? Between fine and great.

Do "the thoughts" still creep in?

Well, yeah. My description of infidelity is like being diagnosed with a chronic, incurable, but treatable disease. You are different, but you can have a happy, fulfilling life if you manage your disease. If you are reading this post, YOU KNOW THE PRESCRIPTION.

FOLLOW IT.

Just like having Diabetes or COPD, if you don't follow your regimen, YOU WILL FEEL IT.

As far as "the thoughts" I brush them aside and march forward.

If multiple class failures and an abysmal GPA could not stop me from becoming a nurse, and continuing that path, than a couple crappy thoughts ain't gonna slow me down.


Chin up. Work it.

Thanks for the update. You have been missed!!

So true.

Triple H you've been missed!!

Awww... thanks ladies!


I still read the forums every day, I just don't like posting from my phone

Was glad to hear your update, BH. And happy someone prodded you for one! :p

You have been most impressive with your librarian-like skills with articles and clips! Very nice work!

Haha thanks I had very good teachers!! You were one of them.

We need some of your "strong" posting to some of these BH and WW from you.

Hehe... and if I approached you as I do anyone else... there might be times where you hated me!

Actually Triple H I never hated you because I was listening and learning.

I think some of the posters that take offense to you (like Mel) is because you hit the point so direct on and they don't like it.

I remember reading on the boards way earlier and it was just a "vent" how horrible my marriage was/is. There wasn't much of teaching the MB principles.

There also seemed to be more trouble makers saying things against MB.

I know Melody explained that is the way it used to be here. What a drag it must have been.

I notice some older posters that will come back and try with the old posting methods and they get jumped on.

I'm so glad MB forums are actually used like Dr. Harley talks about on the radio show. To help educate you about MB concepts.

Ah, this little tidbit is edging closer and closer to reality. My bachelor's program is online, so we can move without disrupting it.

We have been researching a little beach town about 8 hours from here.

As a note; family vacations - for now - SUCK. We spent last week at my FIL's for father's day. Not just us and our kids, but my SIL and her shack up, my BIL and his shack up, and BIL's kids... in addition, FIL had an older daughter that came up to meet her siblings for the first time.


FC time? Sure. But at the cost of any and all UA time almost the whole week.

The solution discussed is we get a hotel room on future trips.


The trip wasn't all bad or anything. The fellas spent a day resurfacing FIL's deck. NGB joked about seeing me do "manual labor." I can do it, I just chose a path which kept me away from physical work. We went to the beach, and went to a zoo.

There was just no escape from people, or the kids... bleh.

H-A-B-I-T-S.

P-L-A-N-N-I-N-G.

Create a new normal, or suffer symptoms. Old normal, other people's normal don't work.