Dr. J:

Yours is one story Ive 'wondered what is the latest' with.

I hope you are things are going well for you and your wife. I will say, after re-reading a selection of posts from this thread, things seemed bleak at best for a long time.

Im going to assume you and she have prevailed and things are good. If so, this is true testament to the power and science of MB.

Let us know.

Hello everyone,
I have not posted for over a year. And I'm happy to say it's for a good reason. My wife and I are very happily married again, and doing well. The reason I write this post is to give some hope for people who think their situation is hopeless. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you have to know when to quit. But even with an almost impossible situation like mine, things can work out.

It has been a year, and I have been doing background checking on my wife over and over, via GPS tracking, checking texting, phone records, etc (many things she does not even know). She is 100% clean. But besides that, I have no doubt that she is NOT cheating anyways, because our marriage is so strong. We go to church together each week. We teach bible class on Wednesdays. We sing in the church choir. We spend each day together like we are a newlywed young couple. She gets along really well with my family and parents (which she didn't originally). And also, the sex is very good.

I feel a little funny saying that last one, but it's an important point. Actually, as we went through the marriage builders program, that was the number one thing she put on her 'needs' category. And you know what? During my first 3 years of marriage, I had zero libido. I went to a doctor, and lo and behold, I found out I had a prolactinoma. It's basically a benign tumor that secretes prolactin, and as a result, my testosterone levels were 20x LOWER THAN NORMAL. Crazy, huh? And as a result, no libido, impotence, weight gain, etc. When we found out the news, my wife was the first one to point out that my medical condition was in no way an excuse for her behavior. But still, with the right medication, I am now a new man, back to normal, and we meet each other's needs very well now.

I wish everyone here good luck on your journey. And I also thank everyone here who supported me and helped me along. You are literally lifesavers. God bless.

I've thought about you and wondered how you were doing.
Jah,
Are you still spending 15 hours a week of UA time together?
Still following the Policy of Joint Agreement?
Doing the emotional needs worksheet every 6 months?

As a doctor please makw sure you don't forsake the UA time.

I'm very happy for you. As you give to the Lord He will continue to bless your marriage.

Thank you JAH. I read this story because it's quickly turning into my story.

This story is pretty close to mine. Thanks to BrainHurts for directing me here. Jah, what an inspiring story. I wish I had time to read the entire thread but I skipped around and have a gist of what you went through. My wife is talking about going back to college for a Master's Degree (she is 29 next week, I will be 31 in one month). This has already scared me and now makes me feel a bit more insecure about it, but perhaps we can talk about her doing online classes. Any other ideas?

My story is married 18 months, wife was a WW for nearly entire marriage with coworker (14 months on and off), found out she also met a guy at a bar and 4 months later had a single date with him, kissed him, and never talked to him again, and had cheated on the boyfriend she had before she met me. D-Day was 6.5 weeks ago. The past 3 weeks she's initiated getting off all social media, new phone number, new email, joined a gym, and saw a psych and was diagnosed with Bipolar (her family all has it too).

Been hell for me but the medicine is working, she's keeping her schedule, she letting me vent about the affair in a non-hostile way, and she's opening up and telling me other precautions she's taken to get over her AP. She told me she threw out a couple love letters, threw away two gifts he gave her, and even told me that if I happen to notice another phone connected to her bluetooth in her car, that its from when the affair was on and that she's taking her car in soon for a checkup and will have them erase his connection to the car.

I'm not relaxing for a bit, because I'm still very very skeptical of her changing. The hardest part is that I was completely unaware of ANY bit of her cheating on me until June 30, 2014. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't even think for 3 weeks and she was going through withdrawls. I don't know how I'm still in the picture, why I didn't go, but its because I did not know what to think say or do. I was paralyzed.

Now we're both coming back to life, and the more she talks about the A, and doesn't spare me the parts I don't want to her, the more I realize she's putting it behind her. Her family is dysfunctional and when her dad left her around the time we were married, I knew she was in a deep depression but didn't know that she had already started an affair and this is why I could do nothing to help her. She realizes that now and she's told me time and time again that she never wants to live like she did again because it was so much harder and not worth it.