I am relieved you got the book so you can see how different this plan is from traditional marriage counseling! Traditional marriage counseling has no plan to save marriages, whereas, MB is very directive and has a step by step plan that really works.

The reason I am so passionate about it because it really does work. It transformed my marriage and many, many others. It is painful to watch couples flounder about in marriage counseling when I know they would be better off reading the MB and doing the program at home. Much cheaper too!

One of the best resources you have is the free radio show that Dr Harley broadcasts every day. You can listen to it any time on the radio link. Another great guide is the workbook that he sells. [$11] It has all the worksheets, questionaires, and walks you through the program.

By mobile you mean cell phone? I would check out flexispy.com, brickhouse security and spectorsoft.com.

Thanks for the input. I tried to go back and edit my post to break it up but I don't see an edit option. I just went back to read it and you're right. I'll break up in the future.

I am with you ML ... I cringe when i see how the other relationships function around me .. i get crapped on though if I offer my advice to them. They say things like "That doest work for everyone" and "Might work for you, but not for us" .. its horrible. Especially when I can see that other peoples relationships could be SO much better. However .. when I display MB and not preach it .. they are a bit more receptive .. I really like it when people ask me how i get my children so behaved .. and how after 19 years of being with my wife can i keep our love so fresh.

Thanks for the advice, unfortunately none of those support Windows 7 phones. I can find spy software for every phone except windows 7 mobile OS.

This brings up a question -

Is time spent watching MB videos, discussing the books, EN worksheets, etc. count as UA time?

How about this....

http://www.cellphonespyreviews.net/category/windows-7/

I would say .. if your both enthusiastic about it .. then yes.

If you are a Sprint customer, you can integrate the phone with Google Voice, and then all texts and picture messages can be forwarded to an e-mail address. In addition, you can view conversations both sent and received.

Does not require installing any software on the phone. Just need to be able to accept a call once and punch in two random digits.

I actually found that both mobile spy and mobile stealth worked with windows 7 on several sites. But after contacting their customer support learned it's only compatible with windows 6.x phones.

I don't. But I wonder if t-mobile has something similar. I'll have to check on that. Thanks.

After a good night when we started reading the book, a big turn of events in my emotions came last night. But unlike Jon in the book, I'm not the crying type. I was full of anger after we drove home from dinner and I saw his fat [censored] across the street. Like always, he went running when he saw me coming. Probably good, because if I do catch him, it's not going to be pretty.

I ended up leaving home about 11:30 PM and going down to the river for some thinking time. My wife was sleeping and I did not tell her I was leaving. I finally felt bad and tried to call her twice to let her know where I was. No answer. Left phone in truck and went to river.

She actually texted me saying I hope she was worth it, if you're plan was to hurt me you succeeded. Followed by 10+ phone calls and 2 crying voice mails.

When I got home, it was worse. I pointed my finger in her forehead in my rage a couple times. I actually felt myself wanting to hit her, but I know I never would. Not just her, but any woman. Just how I was raised. My son heard me, and it was his birthday. That can't happen. I called her a whore, several times. Threw everything she did in her face, and threatened her and him, not by what I said, but how I was acting. She was very scared. Now I am thinking it is me who is aiming toward divorce, not her. Just to let you know, I am not normally a hothead or violent person.

This all started because I am in the neighborhood. I am going to ask her to leave until we can find alternate living arrangements. I don't see how we can co-exist in this house with him across the street. Not when I am fine one night and full of rage the next. She can go feel what she did when she is living without me or the kids until we find another place.

Crap, he actually lives across the street?!?

I'd say all of you need to "find alternate living arrangements" as kicking her out isn't going to make things any better. Is your son in school?

Your anger is certainly understood, and I know we've all harbored violent thoughts against an OM, but you know that your son hearing that isn't good. You're going to have to control that temper by leaving the situation before it gets out of hand.

DOOD...are you trying to torpedo all the positive steps you two have taken in one fell swoop!

THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!!!!

Angry outbursts, disrespectful judgements, making her fear for her safety? Get a grip and get control of yourself.

Plan A is about making yourself the SAFE and loving alternative to the affair partner. Nothing you did last night makes your wife feel safe. You have a ton of ground to make up to undo what you blew up last night.

Seeing the OM triggered you big-time, I get that. But you must stay in control.

Her moving out is an extremely bad idea. So now you're going to throw meeting her needs and undivided attention completely out the window? Move the whole family as soon as you can, but separating is a terrible idea.

Let me tell you again, the vast majority of betrayed spouses on this board would kill to have a wife as repentant and willing to do whatever it takes like yours is. And you have the nerve to blow the whole thing up...?

Snap out of it and get a grip!!!!

You guys need to leave your home and stay with relatives or something.
Is this guy married?
Have you exposed this affair to his married friends and family?

It's obvious how she had opportunity to develop this affair if they are neighbors

I suggest you email the radio show for advice on how to deal with a neighbor affair

If you want to mess with this guy do it but be James bond.

For example if you go to fiverr.com you can pay a guy in India to give this guy wake up calls at 3 am for 2 weeks.... For $5 LOL.

Call the city for any code violations.
Make his life miserable without telling your wife.

Do you rent or own? Does he rent or own?

Feel better? Got all that out of your system?

Good! Because it can never happen again.

Pulling such an "anti-PlanA" stunt such as that was the WORST THING you could have done. Better you had stayed away from home than abuse and assault your wife, the mother of your child (ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!).

You have done immeasurable harm to her feelings about moving ahead with you. Given the vector (calm, and THEN uncontrolled) she should be taking herself and the child to a shelter right now. She can easily get you hauled off (likely for "harassment") for the finger-poke. Oh, yeah, won't THAT make your case for recovery easier? (CP and I can tell you: It wont!)

With all care and concern for YOUR position my friend:

GET IT TOGETHER OR GET OUT!

Rrr, you need to get yourself under control NOW. You are making strategic mistakes that are compounding the problem. You and your family need to get packed up TODAY and go live somewhere else. Put your house up for sale and find some relative or friend who will go there to take care of business.

We completely understand your grief, but you cannot allow your emotions to drive you like this.

Schtoop. No disrepect, but snap out of it and get a grip? Am I the one who had an affair? Whose alcohol problem has thrown this family into a downward spiral and caused many of the problems that led to the affair? Torpedo all the positive steps in one fell swoop? She torpedoed 14 years in one fell swoop. That is not my doing. However, I do somewhat understand what your saying, and will be taking steps to keep my anger under control. I will NEVER let that happen to where my son will hear me again. He was in bed, and all he knew is that we were fighting. But that is too much for him. He has nothing to do with this and it it will be my main priority to protect my kids. Awakening experience last night as I am generally a very laid back, confident person with very little anger. But that has changed in the past few weeks.

I am taking a 401k loan out today so we can get into a rental. I already have my house rented as of Jan.1.

This only happened because I saw him last night. And of course, my first comment (which I wished it wasn't) was there's you're fat beer belly F***, herpe lipped, puss filled back (he has skin condition on chest and back and herpe break outs on lips) boy. It was like I had no control. I have always been under control. I just need to get out of here.

I had a good talk with my wife this morning. Apologized. And she stated I'm the one who put you in this position, I'm the piece of [censored], not you. But I told her I was the one in the wrong last night and it wouldn't happen again. We'll move forward.

My parents are leaving for a week so we are going to go stay there starting tomorrow night. And I talked to a friend of mine who has rental properties and were hoping to get into his vacant property in the following week with month to month rental agreement.

I believe removing the trigger to the affair will be crucial in my ability to get past the first step and reconnect. I am ashamed of the way I acted last night, but it really was like I spun out of control.