I'd divorce him. Stamped endorsement by b_r!!

You may want to look through the Divorce Forum...may have some useful info for you.

Read these, it may help you.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8121_trust.html - How to restore trust after an affair.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042_qa.html - Cant we just forgive and forget?

MNG

Thanks b_r!

Thanks for the links MNG. I read them. I fully believe recovery from an affair is possible. I've DONE it. I busted him having a fling in 2005 and we worked through it, worked HNHN and I thought it was resolved. The problem was I had NO idea that this was just the tip of a very ugly iceberg. Out of that, he became even more of an expert at hiding things.

I suppose where I was going with this thread is that I see all these stories of hope from affair recovery, but I think addiction and "sexual addiction" are very different things. I feel like this is a life sentence. It's certainly been an entire marriage based on deception.

I have read many stories from spouses of SA's and none of them seem really healthy. They spend years digging through recovery and for what seems to mostly be unhealthy outcomes.

Just tossing it about in my head one last time.

Well .. here is an link about sexual addiction and addictions to porn, according to Dr. Harley

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8120_sex_addiction.html - What is sexual addiction

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5050a_qa.html - addiction to Porn letter#1 (make sure to move on to letter #2 etc)

Maybe those will help you clear a few things up also. Check the navigation on the left side of the page when you read the links. There is a whole sea of info in those other links.

MNG

edit to add in another link and details.