Plan out your exposures so it all happens in the same 24-48 period. Make up a list of exposure targets and write up your letters and/or talking points. When you call your MIL and your SIL, you will want to give them all the facts of the affair and ask them to use their persuasion to influence your husband to end his affair.

Go find the OW's facebook page and copy and paste her contacts into a WORD doc. Write up an exposure letter to send out to her contacts.

Get the email addresses of the school board and other parents. Write up an email letter to go out to all of them. Ask the board president to remove the OW from the board and persuade her to leave your husband alone.

Can you do this?

yes I can do this. I need to ask a friend of mine to translate the letter into Spanish as half of his contacts and all hers are from Spain.
Thank you, thank you , thank you.

How do I send the letter to her contacts, from my email or directly from his facebook?

Did you find her facebook page?

When you do, copy and paste all her contacts into a WORD doc for safekeeping. Set up your own facebook page and upload a picture of you and your husband and your children. Have lots of family pictures on it so people can see your children.

Once you have done that, go through her contact list and prioritize them in this order: parents, siblings, adult relatives, married people. Go to that persons facebook page and send them a private message. [use the template in my exposure thread] In your message, you will want to ATTACH one of the emails between the OW and your husband that proves this is an affair.

When you send out the messages on facebook, space them 60 seconds apart so they don't shut you down for flooding.

just found her facebook but she has only two contacts. Managed to find some photos with people in it so it shows their details. Not sure who they are and how they are related to her.
My husband has over 80 contacts so there will be some fun.

Thank you for all your advice.
I need to go and put my gilrs to bed now.

When you get back, do a search to see if the OW has another facebook page. She might have one set up to communicate with your husband and a couple of friends and then another one set up for all other.

Also do a google search for her name to see where else you can find her. She may be a member of other social groups, forums.

no, she hasn't got another FB page. She is not very "internet" , no other social groups etc.
I think I can talk to one mother that knows her and she is a gossip girl and asked her to give me her email address to forward her the details of the affair and she will certainly inform the entire college through her network of gossip friends!
What do you think?

Sounds good! And I would also plan on emailing the evidence to the headmaster of the school and any other school organizations the OW belongs to.

When you look at the OW's contacts, can you tell if they are relatives? Can you find her parents?

Her father passed away a few years ago, her mother is disabled and lives with her.
I won't be able to get in touch with her mother.
But I cannot wait to gossip tomorrow morning at the college to the women who are bored to death....
her contacts are useless, one is organization of some sort, the other is somebody who is also a contact of my H.
I just spoke with my MIL and my SIL, my spanish was great! They were in a shock and very upset about the entire situation especially that he did not keep his hands of OW in front of my daughter! This actually makes me sick.
They will both call him on Wedn/Thurs, so he will have a surprise.
Now I need to get in touch with his cousins.
I don't know if I really want to keep him, but at least will bust the affair.

Good job!!


You must get in touch with her mother!! Drive there and tell her in person. Hand her the evidence. That is too important of an exposure to miss.


I would also send an email to the board of directors and headmaster at the school and tell them about the affair. Ask them to look into it and tell them that other parents will not be happy to hear about this threat to their marriage at their school. Ask them what they will do about it!

Get their email addresses and pass around the emails!

I already spoke to HMaster about my girls and a female teacher about the entire situation. They will not do anything about it, Spanish mentality is way different than English/American. But they love gossip. Will use it to my advantage as much as possible.
Thank you so so so much, I feel way better now, finally the fog is lifting and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope that the law is on my side, will find out on Tue after the solicitors visit.
Will keep writing here.
Now I am off to bed, good night to all of you and thank you again

No. This is your mother-in-law. Tell her yourself. Have a Spanish-speaking friend on board to help you if you need it.

Send it to her, sister

Good morning to all.
Just spoke with three women outside of the college and went for a walk with them. They were fantastic and extremely supportive. One of them is a solicitor so I learned a few tricks there, one of them is divorced from abusive partner and she was amazing in terms of lifting my spirit.
Feel so so good today, you have no idea, the best day since the mess started.
I also met OW ex partner and he always liked me, so I stopped to greet him and told him that OW is now with my husband. He was shocked and asked if I was ok, I said, sure, why not?
Then when I came back from the supermarket I saw OW on her mobile, shouting at him ( her ex) that she is not entering between US(me and my husband). As if....
She was slightly hysterical and I am sure she was calling my husband to Germany.
Seeing her psychotic really made my day.
It's getting heavy...

Ok, my hubby just phoned me from Germany ( he must be going crazy in there!) and wanted to ask me if everything was ok, I said sure, all is good.
I knew he was calling to aks me not to talk to anybody ( because OW have called him to tell him that I am exposing them to the crowd) and surely enough his next sentence was: Listen """ She"""" called me and told me... He did not manage to finish the sentence as I told him nicely" will talk when you come back, there is nothing to say right now, have a good day, bye" and I put the phone down.
I feel I am getting my balls back and its great to be slightly back to normal!

Thank you all wonderful people here!

Sounds good. It is always good to stir up the fantasy in affairland. Keep up the pressure. Did you finish all the exposure?

When will your husband return home?

AM

czarne, please get to the OW's mother!!

Hi there, I cannot do FB exposure as apparently it's illegal here. It means I would need to enter my WH FB and import all of his contacts.
Super bad news is that I went to see a solicitor and I CANNOT take the kids out of Spain without his written consent ( which he will never ever give me). So there I am stuck in a foreign country with no family and crazy husband!!!
Went to emergency this afternoon to get some anti depr. to help me out as I feel I am crumbling just before his arrival from Germany. He will be back in the morning and will have to talk. Gosh, I wish I wouldn't have to see him at all.
Plus I see OW everyday when picking my girls.
Amnesia pill would be wonderful now and to wake up in a year?

Did you get ahold of the OW's mother? What about the other exposure contacts?

I did not realize it was illegal to speak truth in Spain.. Is this a facist police state?

czarne, I would also focus on getting your children out of that school. You won't be able to recover your marriage or even your mental health if you continue to see the OW.

tomorrow when he's back his mum and sister will call to bring him down to earth.
I have decided that at this moment I do not want him around me, he did way to much damage and I need few months OFF.
MelodyLane I think it is a very good idea if I live here permanently, but my plan is to stay here max 6mths and run back to the UK ( with the girls). And she is bearable, I guess she is way more uncomfortable than I am.

I do not recognize my husband anymore, he's gone completely mad. His egoistic behavior depleted my love bank to nil.
I am a bit worried about the conversation we are going to have, mainly because I have no idea what he will come up with and recently he's been very creative and kept changing his mind every day.

However I just phoned the flat owner ( the one I am going to rent) and will speak with him tomorrow regarding the move. So my husband can stay in our current house for as long as he wants ( he cannot pay half of the rent as he was living of me for a very long time). Plus he has no money and there is no petrol in the car. This is going to be interesting.
Off to bed, good night to all of you, will keep you updated.