He Is a serial adulterer. You don't know who all of his affair partners are!
You need to expose before you do anything else

Frank, concise and business like is the no love busting way.

In Plan A you offer your very best self as a spouse and a person. You tell the wayward you are hurting but willing to create a great marriage. You also expose their truth to whomever. They won't like that because it is unpleasant for them to deal with the truth being revealed. You don't react to the horrible tantrums they have about being exposed AND you matter of factly say that though you are willing to build a monogamous, wonderful marriage from this mess........you will settle for no less than one.

Matter of factly.

With a firm smile.

Then, you do not waver nor listen to sweet nothings as you follow through to your future, with or without him.

You will survive.

Thank you everyone so much for the advice. I'm so glad I found MB!

WH called HR yesterday and said being on the road was too hard on his family and that he needed a local job (I mean we do hate it and it was hard BEFORE I found out he was cheating, and cheating, and cheating). I told him we can't have any hope for our marriage when he's not home and out there open to temptation. He's only been at his job for 6 months (I know, I know...) but he's a good worker so I hope they'll want to keep him.

Do you think the initiative should all be his in finding a new job? I'm a librarian so searching for stuff is my forte and probably the role I've played all along. Is this a time to help him or make him show me he'll do it himself?

Also, my kids are under 4. Twins are 18 months so no biggie there but my daughter is 3.5 - should we tell her anything?

I'm still contemplating calling his company myself. Either I'd get him fired or they would actually care about his marriage and find him a new job ASAP.

Ok, I'm calling HR today.

Sophia, that is great! I think it is a great idea that you call HR and ask them this. Be sure and tell them WHY. They have a right and a need to know what is going on.

Update. WH and I went together to talk to the president of the company. It is a Christian company and we just couldn't imagine them not wanting to help him if he came with remorse. We were right. They are going to find him work locally and he even prayed for us. He (the president) thought WH was brave for coming clean and reaching out for help and that he was proud we were committed to working on our marriage instead of just throwing it away.

I can't tell you how much his willingness to reveal himself has given me some trust in him. Trust that he is serious about building our marriage so this never happens again.

I hope they can come through fast because I don't know how I'm going to survive another week with him on the road.

Sophia, I am so very proud of you!! Just think what would happen if you had just allowed his company to find out on their own? I am certain it would have gone down differently.

Please ask your husband to sign up here and allow us to help him.

Agree that Retrouvaille won't be a waste for the reasons you cited. When you get back we will help you go through the MB lessons.

Hugs to you, friend!!

Our Retrouvaille weekend was fabulous! It was so nice to turn off our phones and just focus on each other for 2 whole days. Since it is all about communicating it just really helped us reconnect and gave my husband some great tools for sharing his feelings (which he says stresses him out because I'm good at it and he is not).

We've also done the emotional needs assessment and signed the contract! I feel we are well on our way. I'm surprised at how fast I've moved through my grief and anger. I'm prepared for it to crop back up but things are good now.

Good for you guys.

Will your Husband sign up here?

Well done Sophia, what an excellent start.

How about exposure to your family and friends, how is that coming?

Exposure to the OW husbands and families is also needed