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Just had our first civil phone conversation about the kids and this weekends plans so I actually feel a lot better. Trying to be extra cautious not to apply any love busters. It's hard since there is so much I want to talk to her about. But I was able to keep it casual about her job and the kids.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Just had our first civil phone conversation about the kids and this weekends plans so I actually feel a lot better. Trying to be extra cautious not to apply any love busters. It's hard since there is so much I want to talk to her about. But I was able to keep it casual about her job and the kids. Keep doing this. Be patient and caring when you talk to her do not react if you are going to say something out of anger. If you feel the conversation going that way then get off the phone. Keep working on yourself. Exercise will help tremendously with your depression. Go for a walk or a bike ride.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Wife went to her dads for the night so I could see my kids. It was hard seeing her but I was able to keep it casual. God I hope this works
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Wife went to her dads for the night so I could see my kids. It was hard seeing her but I was able to keep it casual. God I hope this works So did you put on your "A" game? What did you do? You aren't acting depressed around her, are you? What do you think of this clip? Radio clip
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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What did you think of this show?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hanging with the kids now so I can't listen. I kept my game face on. But it sure want easy. How could you treat someone like that when you love them this much?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Hanging with the kids now so I can't listen. I kept my game face on. But it sure want easy. How could you treat someone like that when you love them this much? Remember your wife is very hurt and in withdrawal. You can't control her only yourself. She has to see your actions. She needs to see your changes. Dr. H recommends separation when abuse or angry outbursts are in a marriage until the abuser gets help. He also recommends the victim to keep the bar high and to make sure the changes are real. You must keep working on you, for you.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Ok so tell us the good things you've accomplished this week. What you've done to improve yourself this week? What is your plan for the upcoming week?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Still reading surviving an affair. Then I'm going back to love busters. I've been reading different stuff on the web site and listening to the radio show. This week I'm going to continue with that and start working out on an elliptical bike. I've got counseling twice this week and I'm going to make love deposits at every opportunity . I text my kids every day first thing in the morning through the day and at bedtime. I wish she could see how hard I'm working. I wish she cared.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Still reading surviving an affair. Then I'm going back to love busters. I've been reading different stuff on the web site and listening to the radio show. This week I'm going to continue with that and start working out on an elliptical bike. I've got counseling twice this week and I'm going to make love deposits at every opportunity . I text my kids every day first thing in the morning through the day and at bedtime. I wish she could see how hard I'm working. I wish she cared. But you can't make changes for her. You can self improve and she may or may not register the changes. Riding a bike is excellent exercise. It helps the cardiovascular system and keeps you fit and healthy.
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Well, back at my 2nd home. Wish I could have made it more fun for the kids but there was a lot of work that needed done. Tried to have some fun with them though. My wife requested that I be gone before she got back so I honored her request. Sold my small tractor so we would have some Xmas money said something about selling my fishing boat or the ski boat and she said she hated to see me sell my fishing boat and didnt want to sell the ski boat. So I dont know what to make of all that. The direction we're heading everything will have to be sold.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I really wish my wife would have handled me the way they suggest. Maybe I wouldn't be where I'm at. Great clip.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Sitting waiting to go into counseling now. Going to the house to discuss the kids. She's pissed I didn't tell her something so now she says the kids are playing me and I'm using the kids Against her. I'm not I'm just trying to get closer to my kids. They say all she is doing is yelling.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Sitting waiting to go into counseling now. Going to the house to discuss the kids. She's pissed I didn't tell her something so now she says the kids are playing me and I'm using the kids Against her. I'm not I'm just trying to get closer to my kids. They say all she is doing is yelling. What happened?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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My oldest daughter told me she still had nightmares about when she was molested. I didn't go straight to my wife because I was asked not to. Now shed pissed saying I wanted to ne the hero when I didn't deal with it when it happened. I didn't look at it like that I was just happy my daughter confided in me.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I'm sure the vets will agree and ignore it. My WW says the same thing. The courts awarded me temp. Custody with 0 visitation for her. So I'm using the kids as manipulation tools against her, so she says. Fog babble.
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My oldest daughter told me she still had nightmares about when she was molested. I didn't go straight to my wife because I was asked not to. Now shed pissed saying I wanted to ne the hero when I didn't deal with it when it happened. I didn't look at it like that I was just happy my daughter confided in me. Did your DD ask you not to tell her mom? How did she find out? You know this is a huge resentment for her because she felt you weren't there for her during this time.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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i know. and all i can mutter is im sorry. Im extremely ahamed for the way i handled it. I have no excuses.
I told my wife after about a week. Just because it was such a big issue. She was pissed I waited so long to tell her
We sat the kids down tonight and talked to them one on one. In between my wife started to get worked up about EVERYTHING i've ever done. i was able to defuse it a little by just agreeing with her and not trying to defend myself.
Afterward, my daughter had made soup, my wife asked that I sit down and have a bowl with the kids. She tried to get my goat by talking about the thanksgiving dinner they were planning for this weekend. As much as it hurt i kept my game face on finished my soup and left. Now back to working on me!
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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i know. and all i can mutter is im sorry. Im extremely ahamed for the way i handled it. I have no excuses.
I told my wife after about a week. Just because it was such a big issue. She was pissed I waited so long to tell her
We sat the kids down tonight and talked to them one on one. In between my wife started to get worked up about EVERYTHING i've ever done. i was able to defuse it a little by just agreeing with her and not trying to defend myself.
Afterward, my daughter had made soup, my wife asked that I sit down and have a bowl with the kids. She tried to get my goat by talking about the thanksgiving dinner they were planning for this weekend. As much as it hurt i kept my game face on finished my soup and left. Now back to working on me! Have you heard back from the Harleys? Ok, so tell me how you said sorry. Did you take responsibility for not being O&H with her? What are you saying when you feel like she's getting your goat? What Plan A comments have you said to her? I'm sorry you feel that way.... Part of showing her how different you are from what you used to do. How would the old bnmt reacted? How is the new bnmt reacting? Give examples so we can help you.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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