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I was told basically not to push.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I was told basically not to push. Sending nice texts is not pushing. Asking and berating her to give you another chance is. You must continue on your self improvement. When you get the chance to talk/text to her say nice things. What nice things can you come up with? Have you finished Love Busters? Are you reading His Needs, Her Needs?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Going back through love busters again. As far as nice things I've tried to show concern for her job, friends, family, and health. I agree with her on things with the kids even if I really dont agree. It just seems like she is getting worse instead of better. I'm wide open for suggestions on nice things to say. Mostly I just show concern. I know in her mind ,her mind is made up and that scares me.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Going back through love busters again. As far as nice things I've tried to show concern for her job, friends, family, and health. I agree with her on things with the kids even if I really dont agree. It just seems like she is getting worse instead of better. I'm wide open for suggestions on nice things to say. Mostly I just show concern. I know in her mind ,her mind is made up and that scares me. How about things like. "Thanks for letting me spend time with our children." "You looked nice today, that shirt looks good with your eyes". Does she have a high need for admiration? You said her top needs are affection and conversation. During your texting is an excellent way to feed her need for conversation. Fun, light and nice. Have you read this? Conversation is Boring
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes I read it, just reread it. Yes I would say she has a high need for admiration. Ill try to put these into our conversations. Although our conversations are getting fewer and farther between.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Yes I read it, just reread it. Yes I would say she has a high need for admiration. Ill try to put these into our conversations. Although our conversations are getting fewer and farther between. That's why you take advantage of the time when she does send you a message and always sign off really nice. I really appreciate you allowing me to communicate with you. It was very nice to talk to you today have a wonderful and blessed day. Have you ever told her what a wonderful mother you think she is for stepping up and taking care of our daughter during that horrible and ugly time?. I really appreciate it. Tell us what things you're saying. What was the last compliment you gave her and when?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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When I was at the house last I told her how nice she looked and how nice the house looks. I've always given her praise on what a great mother she is.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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When I was at the house last I told her how nice she looked and how nice the house looks. I've always given her praise on what a great mother she is. Good. What else? What things are important to her?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The most important thing to her is the kids
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Have you heard this show? Radio clip on love bank Segment #2 What do you think?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Ok, so I spent a couple of hours at the house with My wife and kids. Wife and I sat downstairs and discussed the kids, I asked about her job and made sure to stay totally attentive with lots of eye contact. A couple of small compliments. Then went upstairs with the kids. Her and the girls were going to the mall so i asked if she minded me taking the boy to get something to eat. She was fine with that. Yhen i hung out at the house with my son until they left the mall which is when i left.
I think i made as many love deposits as i could without looking too obvious.
May be the first flicker of hope ive seen though be it a small one
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Ok, so I spent a couple of hours at the house with My wife and kids. Wife and I sat downstairs and discussed the kids, I asked about her job and made sure to stay totally attentive with lots of eye contact. A couple of small compliments. Then went upstairs with the kids. Her and the girls were going to the mall so i asked if she minded me taking the boy to get something to eat. She was fine with that. Yhen i hung out at the house with my son until they left the mall which is when i left.
I think i made as many love deposits as i could without looking too obvious.
May be the first flicker of hope ive seen though be it a small one Good job and how did she respond?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 296
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She seemed ok. Maybe not loving but at least not hateful.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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She seemed ok. Maybe not loving but at least not hateful. Enjoy the little steps. This is going to take time. Follow the good doctor's advice and make as many love bank deposits as possible.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
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Going back tomorrow too. Sighting in my boys gun then the girls want to take me somewhere
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Going back tomorrow too. Sighting in my boys gun then the girls want to take me somewhere Good and have fun. Did you listen to the latest clips I posted to you?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
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Not yet. Getting ready to go into work. I can listen to it there.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Not yet. Getting ready to go into work. I can listen to it there. Did you get much sleep?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
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No, I feel like I haven't slept in a month. The Dr gave me something for it today though.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
No, I feel like I haven't slept in a month. The Dr gave me something for it today though. Good because sleep is so important.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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