Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 14 of 28 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 27 28
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Please let us know how she responds.
You are doing the right thing and taking an important step towards saving your marriage

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
OW, I am writing this letter to tell you how selfish it was of me to hurt my wife and family with our relationship. I've caused my wife a huge amount of pain and suffering and although I cannot completely repay my wife for these offenses, Fixing our marriage is the right thing to do.
My family means everything to me so to protect them from any more of this pain i'm writing this letter to inform you that there is never to be any more contact between us. I hope you will respect my request. Any attempt to to contact me will be immediately told to my wife.


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
[from SAA, pg 58]

OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

Sincerely, XXXXX


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
Also have you read this?
Abusive Marriage #2

Dr. Harley says give it 3-6 months before returning , if your wife requests you to move back. Can you do this?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Also have you read this?
Abusive Marriage #2

Dr. Harley says give it 3-6 months before returning , if your wife requests you to move back. Can you do this?

? I thought they lived together?

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
I dont know if i could. after last night I dont think i have to worry about it


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Also have you read this?
Abusive Marriage #2

Dr. Harley says give it 3-6 months before returning , if your wife requests you to move back. Can you do this?

? I thought they lived together?
No. He has moved out as to his BW's request until he can eliminate his AOs.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
Originally Posted by bnmt
I dont know if i could. after last night I dont think i have to worry about it
What happened?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
I had an opportunity to make love deposits and just made false promises. All I did was reassure her that she's doing the right thing. I'm such an idiot. I did stop down today and we had some decent casual conversation. She agreed to consider going to a counselor together.

Sorry about not posting another letter yet. Youth deer season took up most of my time. Boy got a 5 pt


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Did you give her the letter?

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
Still don't have a final draft.


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 200
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 200
If you are serious about saving what little is left of your marriage you will forget about deer hunting this year. Deer season is every year you are in danger of destroying your marriage. That should be your first priority above anything else.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
You don't need a final draft. Use the language BH posted and your letter is ready in 5 minutes.
Can you commit to giving this to your wife tomorrow?

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
Yes I can. Deer hunting was for my son.


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Okay.
My dad shot a blacktail yesterday. 4 point

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
Originally Posted by bnmt
Still don't have a final draft.

bnmt,

Why aren't you using this? Why did you make false promises to your BW?

Originally Posted by BrainHurts
[from SAA, pg 58]

OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

Sincerely, XXXXX


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
I am using that one.. I don't know why I made all the same promises again. I had a great chance to deposit love units and I blew it.


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479
Likes: 6
Originally Posted by bnmt
I am using that one.. I don't know why I made all the same promises again. I had a great chance to deposit love units and I blew it.
What promises? Explain.

What was said?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 296
Gave my wife the letter this morning. She wanted to know what this was supposed to prove. I told her nothing, it was just me trying to make amends for my actions. She wouldnt read it while i was there so i dont know what shes going to do with it.

The promises i made were were how i was changing and would never hurt her again. She said she has heard it all before. I said this time is different and she said so was the last time. I believe in what I told her but shes right she has heard all of this before. I had a chance to prove it with my actions and handed her words.


I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
You did a good thing by giving her the no Contact letter for her approval.
Continue plan A and avoiding Love Busters

Page 14 of 28 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 27 28

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (louischan), 483 guests, and 107 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
elongrimer, finnbentley, implementsheep, rafaelakutch, DGTian120
72,045 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,045
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0