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That's great.
It's a big change to really change the way we respond to things.
Adjusting to changes in life.
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Well, the state of infancy didn't last long. I talked to her again tonight and she ripped into me. Said if I knew what I did to her I wouldn't have the nerve to ask fofor another chance. I tried to avoid the conflict but she wanted it. I didn't argue. Just told her I loved her and I was sorry.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Well, the state of infancy didn't last long. I talked to her again tonight and she ripped into me. Said if I knew what I did to her I wouldn't have the nerve to ask fofor another chance. I tried to avoid the conflict but she wanted it. I didn't argue. Just told her I loved her and I was sorry. She's in conflict and is having a tough time. She is also testing to see if you're the same man and would respond with an AO. Keep making LB deposits and changing yourself, cleaning up your side of the street. You've heard the analogy of throwing a pebble in a lake? The lake is her LB and you're tossing in pebbles when you make deposits. The lake is deep and you need to keep tossing the pebbles in and it will take a long time until you are able to see the pebbles stacked on top of each other. You have to remember how many years of damage you've done that it's going to take a long time to undo.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I think you are doing a good job.
You manned up an wrote a No Contact Letter, taken a class in anger management and are changing the way you live.
Sometimes it helps to keep a journal. You may want to consider doing that.
During my wife's affair, I wrote one thing I was thankful for every day and I think it helped me be more accepting of the circumstances in my life
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I just felt like we had made progress the night before. 1 step forward 2 steps back
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Have you watched the Rocky movies?
Personally I could really relate to them as we fight our way to improve ourselves and through life
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After last night its pretty hard not to feel completely hopeless
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Well, she finally said she couldn't do this anymore. She wants a divorce.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Well, she finally said she couldn't do this anymore. She wants a divorce. Has she filed yet? What did she say? Don't give up. Keep changing you and making LB deposits.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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She wants to do a disalusion. She was very calm. I didn't yell or raise my voice. Now I'm just sad.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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She wants to do a disalusion. She was very calm. I didn't yell or raise my voice. Now I'm just sad. What did you say?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I would recommend emailing Dr Harley and asking for advice on how to respond.
In the interim, I would suggest saying: "I would like to be your partner in life and earn your respect and keep our family together"
I would NOT engage in any talk of divorce and walk away if needed.
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So do I agree to a disillusion or do I prolong it with a divorce?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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No. Read my comment above.
Dissolution is the same as divorce
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Now she seems to be in the state of intimacy. Showing concern for how I'm doing.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Now she seems to be in the state of intimacy. Showing concern for how I'm doing. Take this opportunity to make LB deposits.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I'm trying, I text her before she goes to work and wish her a good day. Last night I text her good night and told her I loved her. She thinks I'm trying to make her feel guilty. I told her I wasn't, that no matter what I love her and she'll always be the love of my life.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I'm very nervous about tomorrow . She thinks we're going to talk about a disillusion. I'm going to tell her that I'm not agreeing to a disillusion. That I want to agree on finances so I can get my own place. I honestly do believe we can have a great marriage. I wish she could believe
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I'm very nervous about tomorrow . She thinks we're going to talk about a disillusion. I'm going to tell her that I'm not agreeing to a disillusion. That I want to agree on finances so I can get my own place. I honestly do believe we can have a great marriage. I wish she could believe Ok so sit down and take this time to write to her why she should stay in the marriage. What you promise to do with your continued changes. Do not write it controlling, more of a love letter/contract. Sign it like you mean it and tell her and then give it to her. State all the things you've done to change yourself. Your counseling/anger mgmt Your education of MB Everything you've done. Tell her how sorry you are that you repeatedly abused her in your marriage and that you hope she could give you another chance. At the end you tell her that whatever choice she makes that you will respect that and that you will continue to make yourself a better man. I would email her your radio clip to Dr. Harley so she can hear for herself.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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