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Well today is our wedding anniversary - 21 years  I've tried to stay positive and see today as a celebration of the happy marriage pre A and my stand for a marriage and family that I valued. Had my hair done today, felt and looked good as it was 2 months overdue. The head massage was divine and so relaxing.  Tried to get tickets to a "books and bubbles event with a well known author but the event was sold out so a friend is taking me to a movie "The Intouchables". Was feeling good until I received the submissions for Monday's hearing for SM. He is so entitled (like all waywards)and I am to blame for our situation and obviously not entitled to anything.  Not looking forward to Monday, happens to be anniversary of DDay.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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With 3 kids, two of them minor, and 20 years of marriage, there is no way the courts are going to listen to the bullsnippy that your WH is spouting. 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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With 3 kids, two of them minor, and 20 years of marriage, there is no way the courts are going to listen to the bullsnippy that your WH is spouting. And I'm sending prayers for you on Monday.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I'm very sorry for this pain that has been inflicted upon you.
I prayed you for tonight, and I wish you well
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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Karmarose - thanks, thats what I needed to hear. I've exhausted all avenues trying to prevent his defaulting and protect our financial security for months. I was starting to loose faith and wondered if anyone else (besides MBers) could see through the fogbabble and would hold him accountable. I'm hoping his recent holiday in Noumea with PEGI will disprove his claim he can't afford to meet his financial obligations.
BH - thanks for the prayers, I really need the strength. I didn't want this battle.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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Thankyou Jedi Knight I appreaciate your prayers and thoughts.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Better days ahead!
Big Hugs!
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BH - thanks for the prayers, I really need the strength. I didn't want this battle. No, but you are still getting up each morning, and fighting for yourself and those kids, and for what you know is right. No matter how hard the knocks are, you keep dusting yourself off, and getting back up, for that reason.  I read this today, and thought of you �Truth never damages a cause that is just� Mahatma Gandhi Think of this when you question how the Courts will see Isildur's holiday and your exposure. You will not accomplish anything worrying over this happy... easier said then done, but right now, you cannot change the outcome of what will happen Monday. But you can enter that Court knowing you have done the right thing, regardless of the outcome. Still... I am rooting for you.
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Had my hair done today, felt and looked good as it was 2 months overdue. The head massage was divine and so relaxing. Tried to get tickets to a "books and bubbles event with a well known author but the event was sold out so a friend is taking me to a movie "The Intouchables". And well done on a great Plan B way to deal with a day you may be vulnerable. So... I hope you are strutting that hairdo! 
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Happy, you sound strong despite it all! When Monday rolls around, you'll have done everything right...everything you could have. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
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On D-day,
it helps to go into a quiet and private place and get on your knees and close your eyes and put your hands together to to say with conviction:
"Thank you God (or Universe) for letting me have that day which revealed the truth of my marriage to me. I had to know to start to deal with it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Amen."
You really did need to have the truth revealed. No matter how horrifying it turned out to be. It gave you the knowledge to walk into your future. A future that takes no betrayal as acceptable. A future where you realize your own value is based on something far deeper than others can place on you.
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You really did need to have the truth revealed. No matter how horrifying it turned out to be. It gave you the knowledge to walk into your future. A future that takes no betrayal as acceptable. A future where you realize your own value is based on something far deeper than others can place on you. reading, for someone who fought to get the truth, even from another continent... this is so meaningful. Thank you. Not knowing was far more horrific than knowing. Knowing the truth, I could process. I could start to learn and heal, and see WH for who he is, rather than who he wanted me to see. Sorry for the TJ happy. How was the movie? I haven't heard anything about it...
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Posts: 1,447
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Reading - Thank you for your words of wisdom, this was a well timed and appreciated post.
Cara - T/J is fine. The Intouchables was a great uplifting movie. Lots of humourous moments ... it was good to have a laugh. Very civilised we had a glass of wine as we watched the movie. I survived my wedding anniversary.
Last edited by happyfuture66; 11/24/12 02:46 AM. Reason: typo
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447 |
I read this today, and thought of you
�Truth never damages a cause that is just�
Mahatma Gandhi
But you can enter that Court knowing you have done the right thing, regardless of the outcome.
[/quote]
Thanks Cara. I will think of this post on Monday morning. It's easy to loose sight of this, it has been such a long difficult journey.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447 |
Jen thanks for the reassurance. Sometimes it seems overwhelming. Isildur's actions have left me with no option. I am prepared to fight for my family's financial security. I am not prepared to sacrifice everything to finance the A. I know I have right on my side, that I am acting with integrity but from an emotional point it's really hard that I have to take this course of action. I hope justice prevails on the day.
Dduchess - I appreciate the support. Thanks
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Posts: 1,428
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Thinking of you. Let us know how you got on...
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Posts: 140
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Read your entire tread ( in chunks must say), you are amazing, I have no idea from where your strength is coming.
Thinking of you a lot, especially today. I can imagine the pressure and stress you are under ( I had that b4 my WH signed my paperwork to leave Spain with kids).
Pls post the news and lots of love and hugs to you!
Me BW 37
WH 45
ILYB 21/09/2012
EA/PA discovered 26//09/2012
Plan A for four weeks.
Moved back to the UK with the kids and left my WH behind end of October 2012/
WH moved in with OW immediately after I left.
Now in planB
PlanB since 30/10/12
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Czarne - I have no idea either, I'm hoping I have some left. Thanks for your comments it was well timed and helps.
Cara - thanks, I appreciate your support.
Hoping a decision will be made on Friday ... another delay.
Further developments from Isildur, waiting to talk to my lawyer tomorrow.... when does it end? No matter how alien they become, how can someone treat you so appallingly after being together 22yrs?
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447 |
Just read an article the BBC will not allow 2 TV presenters to appear on TV together after it was revealed they were having an affair and have ended their marriages.  About time the the media takes a stand.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Just read an article the BBC will not allow 2 TV presenters to appear on TV together after it was revealed they were having an affair and have ended their marriages. About time the the media takes a stand. Wow.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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