I've been working on my marriage for months. My wife told me she wants a divorce. She moved out of the bedroom. We can't afford a divorce. I want to save my marriage. She's been having an EA for months. I get all the standard lines. I'm not in love with you,he's my soul mate. all the crap thats breaking my heart. This is tearing my family apart. My kids know everything and are acting out. She's moved in and out of the bedroom 6 times. For a very long time there was no sex. She came to me and said. I DON'T LOVE YOU BUT WE'RE BOTH FRUSTRATED. THEN ASKED IF I WANT TO HAVE SEX. JUST TO RELIEVE THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION. She won't break contact with OM. I don't know what to do. I want to make love to her but she only wants it for the physical part. No emotion. I don't know if I can do that without emotion. I love her so much. I need help.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please hit Notify and ask the MODS to combine your threads so we know what has been posted.

Who did you expose to on OM's side? Do your children know?

What do you know about MB?

Have you exposed this affair.

Get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley.

Go to top of this page an click on the articles and basic concepts and grasp as much as you can.

Do not yet tell your WW about this site yet or mention exposure.
For exposure to work you must not forewarn WW of your plans.

Also how does your WW contact her OM?

We have to get you up to speed on how to gather intelligence. When you find out proof never reveal your sources because your WW will then plug those leaks.

If she's willing to have SF, at her request, then by all means use that time to make love to her, in the way you know she will love..... Read about Plan A and start immediately!

My kids knew about it before I did. He lives in another state. They talk or text everyday. She now has a new laptop and video chats sometimes. I've read all the books. I'm keeping my LB's under control. I tell her that I'm still in love with her and she responds with I KNOW. My head and my heart are in constant battle. My head say's it's over but my heart doesn't want to listen. This is affecting me in every aspect of my life. I'm also afraid. If I tell her that I love her while making love. How will she react.

What have you done to kill the affair?

Who on OM'S side have you exposed to? Do you pay her phone bill? You allow for her to carry on her affair in front of you?

OM doesnt really have family. His daughter knows about my wife also. I've tried talking to my wife about breaking off contact. She refuses to do it. I try to keep a good aditude around her but it's hard. A year ago we lost both of our dads.
The affair started not long before that. A couple of months ago. She told me that she was going to the cemetery to put flowers on her dads grave. I asked if I could go. I haden't been there in a while. When we got there she split the flowers in two. I asked her why. She told me that she was putting flowers on a secound grave. It was the OM's dad. When I asked her how could she do that with me there. I got IT'S ONLY A DEAD BODY. She is the only one that doesn't see how hurtful it was to me. Talk about a slap in the face

What have you done to kill the affair?

I don't know what else I can do to stop it. She keeps her phone locked and takes it everywhere. Even to the bathroom.

You need to expose her affair loud and proud.

Does OM have Facebook? Go and get all his contact information and expose. You must kill the affair by putting pressure on them to break contact.

How did she meet OM?

We spent the entire day yesterday together. When we went to bed. I told her how much I enjoyed the day together. She had nothing to say. She just staired at me. So I looked at her and said goodnight. I do all the house cleaning, laundry and Ive become the primary care giver of my kids

OM doesnt have a FB account. He's an old boyfriend from when we were kids. I know the SOB. I have his phone number and her knows how upset I am and doesn't care. The Affair is out in the open. My wife shows me no respect but I still love her. I must be really stupid.

Being disrepected is one thing when you dont know its happening, but when its overt its unacceptible.

You need to grab this program by the cajones and run it like a mutha--. OK? Now, get on the EXPOSURE BUS and let it rip. I mean anyone and everyone who can help this insane woman out of her fog. Job 1.

And, if you are paying this woman freight, that needs to end now.

If my wife was having her affair and rubbed it my face, she and her personal belongings would be in the front yard. If she were to be as proud of it as yours is, she'd be visiting her kids on every other weekend and Wednesday nights.

Her phone was on my account. She dad a secoud phone that I found out about. I canceled the one on my account because she was only using the other phone. she pays for it herself and changed all the passwords on the email accounts that she has. I deid alot of snooping and found and saw alot of things that I really don't want to know. The feelings that I have inside of my heart make me want to do some really bad things. But my brain stops me. This battle sucks.

Listen to me.

Buck up, my man.

You need to take care of you. If you dont excercise, get out and walk, jog, or run. Extremely important.

Go see your Dr. immediately and get a stem to stern lookover. You are depressed and probably have anxiety thru the roof, you tell the Dr this and maybe you should give an anti depressant and anti anxiety med a try. Cant hurt and they are recommended.

Your kids need you to be strong and protect them from this woman.

You can expose the affair and demand she take her affair out of your home. When she chats on the Internet or talks to him, follow her around and tell her LOUDLY to take her affair out of your home. If she wants to conduct her affair, she can go to a dark alley somewhere.

And you need to expose the affair wide and far in a SMART and strategic way. Go read the exposure thread in my signature.

We need a lot of background here, to find the tools for you to employ.

Does WW have a (paying)job? If so, who is the primary earner, by how much?
Do you own your home?
What jurisdiction do you reside in? (to determine their court's treatment of infidelity)
Ages and genders of your children?
Is this her first affair, to your knowledge?
Have you ever been unfaithful (to HER knowledge)?
Any known neuropathies in WW previously? (Depressive conditions, BPD, etc)

Your situation has been exacerbated enormously by your feckless, ineffective approach to combating her behavior. A better title than "Nothing is working" would be "Little has been tried"!

I think even you would admit that you cannot "nice" a WW back to the marriage. Dragging her back, or driving POSOM away, must be your initial tactic.

"Out in the open" is not exposure. If you know him from when you were kids, you should be able to contact his family members.

Please take a more proactive approach and expose the affair.

Is the OM married? What is his occupation? Have you confronted him?