I just prayed for your family

Thanks JK!

Forms were quick and easy. I'm kind of anxious now.

Ugh. Just found out why she came out of the depression. Her and the SOB made contact through work. Now that the clock is reset, there is nothing stopping me from going nuclear now. I have to setup and fire the letters off. Argh. She had gone so long without contact and bam! Reset. That POSOM is going to regret this.

Yup do it today and do not forwarn her.

How did you find out? It makes sense why she was in withdrawal for so long.

I have to setup everything first and get the time to do it without her around. I have a plan and it will be before the weekend.

She hadn't communicated with him for months, and she was starting to really go deep into depression, then they made contact again through work this past weekend (he sent her a music video link) and she responded back about not letting anyone control what he does and all the schmoopie crap (how do I do the puke gif!?). That is why she suddenly snapped out of the depression and was all nice around me. Here I thought she came out of it normally.

On the bright side I now know the OM DD's name and FB account. Sorry for him...NOT!!!!!!!

Friggin' SOB. Looks like my testicular fortitude is about to go off the charts on this one. I'm pissed beyond belief that I have to restart this process. I took a risk to avoid a reset, and he seemed to be staying away just fine. Then one little relapse and they are back at it. GRRRRRRRRRR!

As I said earlier in this thread, I have been prepared (contact info-wise) to go nuclear if he did make contact again. The dumb a__ should have followed through with staying away.

It's the second smiley in the fourth row of smileys on the "full reply" screen.

This is why moving away is so highly recommended. One false step, NC is broken, and your whole recovery is set back.

Should I cancel or move back my appointment with Steve, considering the situation...or continue with it?

He's in PA, while we are in FL. This was work email related. If she doesn't agree wo go NC and stick to it, her butt's getting the boot.

Well she never did write a NC letter.
My wife did the same thing. She only made it a few days without contact though.
They really are like drug addicts.
You need to expose to everyone.
And if this is work email then expose to the company. His employer too and all of his married friend s.
And all of OM family.

Unfortunately you're back to Day 1.
And keep in mind that affair phones are easy to buy and hide.

I'm livid for you man! Drug addicts is the right term. Although drug addicts have it easier than waywards in the sense what they do is illegal. You can get them put in jail and quit cold turkey. I digress, I agree with JK.

Yep. I took a calculated gamble not to have the clock reset back in October when I was finally able to get the info on the POSOM I needed for a wider exposure. Some part of me almost wanted this to happen ti give me an excuse to rock his world and really get this affair killed better in her mind. Things were looking OK until this weekend. I wondered why she popped out of the depression as easily as she did, and thought it might be the drugs.

I was prepared for this. Doesn't make me any less pissed at her. This morning she was all happy chatty with me too. Cake eating...big time. And right before Christmas time too.

Keep the appointment. Get yourself into Plan A overdrive. Whenever a wayward is happy, that's a bad sign for your marriage, and usually means contact has resumed.

I have also heard that Steve is great at dealing with reluctant WW. I haven't been keeping up on your thread, but I just wanted to point out that I hope you take this opportunity to use exposure to its full extent. If you haven't exposed the affair on your WW's side, take the time to do it now.

Until your WW agrees to NC for life, and she gets on board with MB, you should be in Plan A, but remember that it is temporary, and you should assume contact.

How are your Plan A efforts coming? Is there anything the board can help you with?

My plan A mostly consisted of getting intimate conversation in. She has been highly reluctant at accepting anything else, but I have on occasion sent a text or email letting her know what I thought of her (as in beautiful, you do a good job, etc). I had planned to ramp up my efforts when she came out of the depression this past weekend, thinking she had finally turned the corner and would be more accepting of my plan A efforts, which is why I asked for the appointment. I had planned on sending a bouquet of tulips next week as well with a card just stating I hope she was doing well and getting through her heavy workload at work. I was feeling really good about the future yesterday until I checked and saw that he contacted her this past weekend.

I almost feel like just moving on at this point, but I've done 3 months already and was able to endure it well, so I can continue to do so. I just hate having to go through all of this stuff again. This time, though, I have much more information on the OM and can widely expose him. I also plan to let my wife's boss know that she's been using company email to communicate with the SOB, thus using company resources to have an affair. I will also be posting a missive on my FB account describing what has happened, in general terms. If the POSOM had just stayed out and moved on, as he appeared to be doing, this might have been a good Christmas. Now...it's going to suck.

Good luck, FR. Are you "VAR'd" for defensive purposes for her exposure reaction?

No. I wasn't the first go around either as she tends to be bottled up when she gets upset like that. My biggest issue is the law in FL. If I am not mistaken it is against the law in my state to unknowingly record someone. Any input on that? Personally, I have no issue with getting one and having it put to use. I just want to avoid legally screwing myself.

Falcon,

If in doubt ask an attorney.
I did a web search and Florida was listed as one of 8 states which requires both parties to consent to audio recording.

However many posters on here regularly advocate ignoring the law and recording anyway.

I would rather deal with an illegal recording than a false abuse allegation.

I'm torn in that as well.

The more unfortunate thing is that I may be going into the withdrawal state. I just pulled down all of the pictures of us and put them away. Quite frankly I'm torn on whether to continue this fight. I'm sure my optimistic side will pick my a__ up off the floor and get me back in the fight, but it feels like I can't win. Fighting someone in an addiction is hard. I'm going to have a long prayer session with God tonight and ask for all the strength He can muster for me. I just wish something would trigger her out of this fog. Anything.

I'm no longer wearing my ring and plan to put it on her computer later. I'm tired of wearing a ring that doesn't mean sh__ to her. Days like this make me sit back and think how far this society has gone into the toilet. This is what happens when we forsake God and the morals that made this country great. For me...2012=Epic fail year.

As for the ring I encourage you to wear it as a symbol of YOUR commitment to the institution of your marriage.
Irregardless of her actions, you can be a role model for her and your kids

That's an interesting suggestion Jedi about the ring I removed mine when my WW would not acknowledge our anniversary a few months ago, as like falcon I felt the same as well. Would you suggest and think it a good idea that both falcon and I put them back inas a symbol of out commitment to saving x d recovery our msrriages

I would recommend to keep it on. You're still married, you honor your vows.