She hasn't done anymore actions. We don't even have lawyers involved yet. Nothing been said about gifts or nc. Moving back in isn't an option. I wish.

It worries me because her new best friend has been through a divorce and I feel like she's coaching her. I know I can't choose her friends, but it worries me.

I was really hoping to see an improvement in her view of me but its pretty much the same.

He can't move back into his home.
They are legally separated.

I understand her friend is divorced but stick with the basic concept:
Meet emotional needs and avoid love busters to build a love bank balance.

You need to post your wife's top emotional needs.

If you post her top 4 EN maybe we can help brainstorm some ways you can meet them.

It's hard when someone has a negative influence on a WS, it's frustrating you have no control over this. As the saying goes control your responses, reactions, keep plan Aing and show her the "wonderful new improved you"

bnmt, what are her other two top EN in addition to these?

Family commitment and admiratiin

As far as conversation, I've been talking and texting at every opportunity. Trying to to keep it light and casual.

Admiration, i give her compliments every chance I get.

Affection is a little hard, I sent her flowers at work today.

Family commitment, I've been working on my relationship with my kids

When you signed the separation agreement, you agreed not to be in the house?

Yes, that's right

Any more ideas for affection? Or any of them?

Did you follow my previous post?! That's affection and admiration on one neat package! If so how'd it work out?!

Trying to find a good coffee subscription, don't have my debit from my new accounts yet. Got her a set of wine glasses ( she mentioned awhile ago she only had one ). A opener set, and a blanket/wrap plus a nice card and I sent the flowers.

Has she responded about the flowers?

Said I shouldn't have done it, I asked if she liked them and she said yes

I really wish someone would wave a magic wand and fix all of this. This is gonna be a horrible Christmas.

Alright, here's your magic wand. Or perhaps your magic lamp. Call it what you will.

Quit trying to fix what you have broken so many times that even Industrial Strength Super Glue couldn't repair.

Quit trying to entice her back to you with flowers and notes. She'll resent you for it and only make matters worse.

Quit trying to convince her you have changed (you've had multiple chances at that one and failed miserably).

Quit trying to manipulate what you can't. She is DONE!

Work on what you can fix, and that is you. That is the only thing in your power right now, so your time would be much better served working on what broke this to begin with rather than trying to figure out a way to convince her you have actually changed. She has accepted your words for truth for so long, and been let down so many times for so long, your words mean squat to her. Nothing. Nada.

I don't blame this woman one damned bit!

Work on yourself, and quit pining over what you destroyed. But never forget what got you here to begin with. She gave you more chances than you deserved, and you blew them all. Every...damned...one!!

Just how many chances were you expecting before the well ran dry??

My advice is to work on you and quit trying to win her back. Start working on all you did to destroy this. Even the strongest woman on this planet has her breaking point, and you have pushed her there. Seriously, can you blame her?

This is all on you.

Hey, who knows, she may one day see your changes (assuming you actually do change) and decide that you deserve (whoa) another chance. On the other hand, you may have have pushed her off the edge thinking, "Screw this, I deserve better than this". Ya' know what? She does!

And guess what? So do you. You deserve to be better than this. You really do. I hope you can see that, and go from there.

Quit focusing on what you can't repair, and start focusing fully on what you can.

You.

Just my thoughts.

I have been working on myself. Everyday.

I do understand all of that. And I still work on myself everyday. But how am I supposed to make love bank deposits by leaving her alone?

IMO, the biggest LB$ deposit you can make is by doing just this. Continuing to improve yourself. If it's genuine, she'll notice. If it comes off as looking like just another ploy by you to try and manipulate her back into another chance again, well, she'll notice that too.

Just keep working on yourself with no expectations.

Plan family outings. Arrange where, when, how, make your wife a guest so all she has to do is join you and the kids.

Now you get some face to face time at her bank teller window showing the new you. Repeated activities will show that your changes are permanent.

Pick things she has wanted you do/take her. Movies, day trips, parks, hiking, bikes, museum.

One activity a week is not smothering.

I could try. Right now Id say she wouldn't go.