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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
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Joined: Oct 2009
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![[Linked Image from assets.sbnation.com]](http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2807/ccsab.jpg) Lurker,
You really haven't got any plan here, do you?
You're thinking about 3 hours ahead. Well, maybe 3 days ahead, max, on your best days (which are fewer & further between). You've given up trying to do right.
You haven't thought ahead to when you get found out. You think it's still a matter of "if."
If this other chick is so great, why don't you man up & tell your wife? Why not spread the happiness by sharing your good news?
'Cuz you know, deep down, that this other woman has more issues than the New York Times in a month of Sundays, more problems than anyone you'd ever wanna spend the rest of your life with. Hell, if that weren't the case, you know she wouldn't be hanging out in hotel rooms with someone else's husband. You gotta laugh a little when you consider that you're not proof of her exquisite taste -- you're proof of how F'd up she really is. Laugh, 'cuz it's easier than dwelling on the fact that it's true...
But it's still a rush to get the easy compliments, the cheap attention, the easy piece. So you stay in it, to see where it might lead, on the off-chance that there just might not be a hard landing. Hey, maybe you used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, too...
Ever think about where your life will be in, say, 5 years? Will it be where you want it to be? Will you be able to say you're proud of what you've done & where you've gone between now & then? What if you & other chick move in... ever think about having to tell others how you became an item? Or have you stopped to think about how it'll feel knowing going-in that that's a story that you & she would have to lie about for as long as you're together? You feeling up for 20 or 30 more years of lies?
I know... you don't want to think about it, because you don't see any answers, except ones that you don't like. If you ever do think ahead, you're probably scared of what'll happen when it all blows up... it's like you've grabbed this tiger by the tail and you feel like you can't let go, so you figure might as well ride it to the bitter end & just see what happens.
Well... One of the problems with affairs is that you don't die when they end & your wife finds out. You'll wake up the next day (if you slept at all), and you'll find out that you're still alive, and that you'll have to start facing this stuff that you don't want to read about here, much less think about. And you'll be lying there awake, and trying to figure out how to even live with yourself. That day's coming. It's rushing at you, pal.
Might as well start facing it now. The sooner you do, the sooner you might be able to resurrect your dignity ... your integrity ... your marriage to the girl who once thought you were worth taking a ring from. You'd better level with her. The sooner you do, the sooner you might be able to look in a mirror & see again someone who's worth more than cold spit.
It's the rest of your life. Yours to save, or to throw away on this messed-up chick.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
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Bravo, GO. Well said and brought a tear to my eye.
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Joined: Jun 2013
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Bump.
Because it's important to read.
How will you feel 5 years down the road when poor boundaries and choices destroyed everything you once loved and cherished?
You got married and possibly had children for a reason, didn't you?
Stop only reviewing and magnifying the negative things about your spouse and re-discover why you felt so passionate about each other enough to share your vows together.
LTL
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
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Bumping for GentlemanX...
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