It been 2 months that I discovered my husband has affair when I was pregnant with our first child.

The fact:
They started when I was 4 months pregnant. She knew I was pregnant but continue anyway. Bxtch.
She is a teacher and a divorcee with 2 kids. Her husband also had affair.

During the pregnancy, I didn't sense anything. My mood swing was terrible, we did have some quarrel during pregnancy. But after a while, he seems ok. So I didn't bother him too much.

But after my gal came out, I can sense he is detaching from us.
After work, he could play with my gal while I had my dinner, then he could do his own things in his room.
He became more and more detached and drifted away from me.
He start to sleep on the couch. He start to avoid conversation to me.
Then I start to suspect he had an affair.
I confronted him, he was shock but he didn't denied.

Dday, he mention he will go NC. But the thing drag till one week, he finally chose her. So he leave the house.
But after few hours, he came back and beg for forgiveness. I think I forgive him too easily. Few weeks later, I caught him going up her house.
Separation start afterward. Initially he did beg to reconcile, but I refuse. Then when I say reconcile he wanted divorce.

So I look for lawyer, and sent an official letter to take care and control of my gal(6mth)
He was angry, furious etc.
he say I use our gal to attack him.

Now, he start to visit my gal on fix timing. They are still together and planning to fight in court for my gal.


Why would a guy doesn't wan to own responsibility to his own child but wan to own responsibility to other ppl kids?
Why would a husband did such a terrible thing when his wife is in the most vulnerable state?
Why would a woman like her do such thing to a pregnant woman? She herself is a mother also.
Should I expose the affair to the school since she is a teacher? Her moral conduct is wrong.
I am starting the 180.

I have gone through the exact same thing it's heartbreaking!!

This forum has helped me so much I help it will do the same you!

welcome to MB, amazing. i am sorry you are here, especially during the holiday season, but this is the right place for you to either recover your M or for personal recovery.

i cannot answer your questions, except to say that WSs are delusional (addicted aliens). there is no reason they do what they do except for pure selfishness.

your first step needs to be to familiarise yourself with the MB concepts on this site, so you can start making a plan. you do not want to make decisions based on emotions.

yes, the first step is exposure, and i would expose to the principal and board of the school (at the same time, with a formal letter). do NOT inform your WH of exposure! you will also need to expose to your friends and family - they are your biggest supporters, and should you decide to work on the M, they will help keep your WH accountable.

click this link for the notable posts page (or simply go to the main forum page and notable posts is the second option (i think second, but it's right at the top).

there you will find the "for the newly betrayed" thread, exposure letter templates, and here is melody lane's exposure 101 thread. exposure is your best weapon against your WSs adultery.

it'll probably be pretty quiet around here because of the holidays, but you are NOT alone. we can help you with every step. post often, and vent here. better to vent your emotions here, then formulate a plan, than to do so to your WH, ok?

Thank u Letty,

I already expose the affair to my family and his family, and my friends.
Apparently, he still continue the affair and we had separated. His family didn't stop his affair.
Since now is the holiday season, the school is not open.
Should I wait till I get care and control of my gal then I expose with a letter to the school. Or just send a anonymous letter to the school? He may use I am vengeful point to indicate I am not fit to take care of my gal.

Now our status is separate, we didn't communicate except for child matter.

What should I do next?

Who did you expose to on OW's side?

I just contact my lawyer to send a formal letter to the ow school principal.
The letter will be send on 26 dec. she already close down her Facebook. So I couldn't search her friends.

What step should I do next?

Amazing, are you LEGALLY separated or just physically separated?

As far as exposure goes, do not be anonymous. Let everyone know who you are, what your WH is doing and that you are fighting for your marriage. Let OW's family and friends know, the principal, the school board, etc.

I'm so sorry that you are here, but this is the best place for you to get the support and advice you need.

((Hugs))

We are physically separated, because we are not married for at least 3 years. The law at my side cannot get us divorced.
Must reach 3rd years then can get divorce.

Exposing the affair to ow family& friends is difficult. She had close down her Facebook. I couldn't locate her.
My husband knew her on forum also. I only had her workplace and her home address.
No mutual friends between us.

OK, physically separated means that he is still breaking his marriage vows. Expose the affair and let everyone you know what he is doing, that you are fighting for your marriage and to ask family and loved ones to use their influence to speak to your WH to work on his marriage and stop his destructive behavior. Have you read the Exposure 101 thread?

Also, since you have her address, check spokeo.com to get other info on OW. Do you know her name, cell phone #, anything? Also intellius.com is a good resource. The fee is minimal ($3-$5) and well worth the info you get.

We not from US. We from Singapore.
Does those website applicable to my country?

I think he is still living in her fantasy world. She put at her whatsapp status "to be happy is the choice we make"

She may have just blocked you.

Make a new Facebook with a new name and email and see if you can find her.

Then try this. Facebook: A Backdoor to See More Information

I think she close down her fb.
I already set a diff account. But still cannot find her.

You sent the exposure to the school?

Yes, it will be courier by hand to the principal of the school today. But I didn't receive any reaction from WS yet.
I still thinking on how to expose to the students without getting into trouble.

What is the next step? Go dark? Or keep on exposing?

Are these students under 18?

Whom have you exposed to?

Amazin - I don't believe it is necessary to expose to the students. They will find out eventually if Mrs. Skank loses her job. You DO need to expose to people who have the power to influence your WH to stop his cheating life style. Exposure needs to be done all at once as well, to have the most effect. Otherwise, the cheaters will have time to make up a story about the crazy wife (you!).

How did he meet OW? Do they work together?

Have you read the Exposure 101 thread? Have you checked to see if you have spokeo.com in Singapore or a similar directory?

The 180 is NOT a Marriage Builders term and does not work. PLease read this thread as well. You should be doing Plan A while you are exposing

Carrot and Stick of Plan A


~RQ

They didn't work together. He is a police officer. She is a teacher. They met through a photography forum.

His family knew, my family knew, my friend knew. Now her school in charge knew.
He respect his mom, that why he came back when his mom first knew abt this.
But After that i still caught him at her house.

My interim court order have just issued.
He has been given weekday access 6-8pm.

He is now angry abt this access right. Because 2 hrs is very little. This is court order if not I be in trouble.

How many children and their ages?

Are you getting ready to go into Plan B?

So the only exposure on OW's side was her boss at her school?

Have you ever been able to find her family? Through a people search?