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black raven I sent her a message on FB as well informing her of this PA. I have heard no response. I believe they are going through a D anyway. You need to SPEAK TO the OM's wife. I would call that rat's house and disguise your # using *67 and see if she answers. Try to get her phone # and call her. Do you know where they live? Do you live close? If so, I would drive there. And by the way, "going through a divorce" means MARRIED. I am sure your wife is telling everyone else the same thing about you!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. it doesn't make a craps worth of difference if he is truly "getting a divorce." His WIFE has a right to know about his affair.
"getting a divorce" means MARRIED.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Not sure if your comment was directed a me, Mel but I would still verify the D. The OP may be able to see other useful info such as the house address, names of children, who filed and when (which may help with an A timeline)...assuming D had been filed. And if OM lied to WW about getting D, that bomb can be thrown to cause more A damage.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Not sure if your comment was directed a me, Mel but I would still verify the D. The OP may be able to see other useful info such as the house address, names of children, who filed and when (which may help with an A timeline)...assuming D had been filed. And if OM lied to WW about getting D, that bomb can be thrown to cause more A damage. Oh no! I am not disagreeing with you at all. I just want to make sure he understands it makes no difference as far as exposure goes. Waywards usually claim they are "getting divorced" or are "separated" in order to make people believe their spouse is out of the picture.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gotcha and agree.
Fireboss, where'd ya go? I hope you aren't listening to posters on other sites about not exposing. Exposure is the BEST shot you have of ending the affair and salvaging your marriage. Even if your marriage does not survive, you do not want this POS around your child so kill the affair.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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You need to expose to EVERYONE. Family friends children church etc. and all of his family and friends
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Same on your WW side as well.
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black raven, FB was my only way of sending it out. I do not know their emails.
Melodylane, I sent the exposure emails to her sisters because she is closest to the oldest, and she has strong family values. The other sister because she lives close to us. I am not close to my family and there for neither is my W. My W also doesn't speak much to her mother (ironically) because her mom did the same thing to her dad.
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The OP lives in AZ and we live in KY. So I don't know that this will have the same effect.... She went out there in November and admitted that it went from an E/A to a P/A. She is going back out there next weekend. (He's paying)
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black raven, I'm back now. I'm on my work computer, so I have to work as well.
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I went on the Maricopa Co. website and punched in the name of the OM and the name of the OM W but it had no match for my search.
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The OP lives in AZ and we live in KY. So I don't know that this will have the same effect.... She went out there in November and admitted that it went from an E/A to a P/A. She is going back out there next weekend. (He's paying) Wow, she really has some CHUTZPAH, doesn't she?? You are going along with this? My suggestion would be to plan a wide scale exposure this weekend so she cancels the trip. Does the OM have a facebook page? I would also expose to your wife's family.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Are you married to her?
How long married?
Any kids?
Any of you ever have any affairs in the past?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes we are married.
We have been together for 10 and M for 8 yrs (9 in June)
We have an awesome 7 y/o daughter.
When we were first dating (about 2 months in) I slept with a woman who frequented a bar I worked at. It happened once and my W (gf) at the time found out about it. She actually even came to my work with the other woman and had drinks at the bar together. So after that I made a promise to never hurt anyone like that again. And as I cried and my wife cried she said I would NEVER do this to you. Her ex-husband had cheated on her (at least that's the story I got from her). So now she brings this up to me, and I don't dispute that it happened and was wrong. But what I do dispute is that there is a difference in a 2 month relationship and an 8 yr marriage with a 7 y/o D.
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Buy a background report.
They cost about 30 bucks on the Internet.
Also check surrounding counties like pinal county
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But what I do dispute is that there is a difference in a 2 month relationship and an 8 yr marriage with a 7 y/o D. Absolutely. One is an affair and the other is FAIR GAME. You had no committment to her at that time.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Your wife will make every excuse in the book.
What matters is. The here and now.
Can you expose to everyone tonight?
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Do you have the OM's home #? If so, I would call it diguising your # with *67 and see if a woman answers. Try and get ahold of his wife. Expose the affair wide and far, this weekend.
Then DEMAND that she end her affair. Have you tried to stop her from going to see her OM?
And your 7 year old should be told everything. And told she plans on leaving her family to go see this loser.
Tell everyone. Go read the thread in my signature.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I do not have his phone number. The only reason I know about him is because she is on a social fitness app and she would talk about him, but always mention his wife. When I found out they were more than just friends.... I was able to do a search on the fitness sight and found posted comments she made to him in regards to her up coming trip there. I found this before the first trip and flat out asked her not to go. I told her what I knew and she said I was over reacting, that it was harmless flirting and nothing else. She went anyway and when she got back, I asked if she slept with him and she said yes.
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