|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1 |
JT,
Simple question you can ask OMW, "do you think there can be anything going on between OM and my WW" if OMW has been cheated on you might get a long list of former OWs.
God Bless
Gamma
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 13 |
No, his wife was very cold to him. But from what I understand, she is still holding out hope. I'm telling you, he is telling the truth. Of course I could be deceived by him but he and I have been thru this over and over. He says he won't have anything to do with friends' wives or ex-wives because it could never work.
Should I tell his wife too?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
You need to get back into your home!!!
Even if she does leave for another house in a few weeks, it is KEY that YOU do not leave HER.
It makes you look uncaring and gives her the green light to have an A. It also gives you a huge legal disadvantage.
While you are home you can snoop to see what is really going on.
I agree with ML that is odd he was giving 'spiritual marriage advice'. Most men don't meddle in one anothers marriages. Did you know about their discussions?
I also think it is super odd he's been separated for three years and hasn't gotten divorced in spite of the fact it leaves his wife hanging on in hope.
Sounds like he enjoys the attention.
But you can verify their contact and you can see if she has any other inappropriate contact with men going on also.
Has she ever behaved like this before or was it a bolt out of the blue?
And for heavens sake stop playing up there next to him. What on earth is that going to look like to your wife? Even if he's entirely innocent, he has to become persona non grata for the sake of your marriage.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
No, his wife was very cold to him. According to whom? Him? What would it hurt to call her? That doesn't make sense that she is "cold" to him yet she wants to stay married? But from what I understand, she is still holding out hope. I'm telling you, he is telling the truth. Of course I could be deceived by him but he and I have been thru this over and over. He says he won't have anything to do with friends' wives or ex-wives because it could never work. But if he was having an affair with her, he would be expected to deny it. Should I tell his wife too? Absolutely. Call her up and ask her what she knows about his relationship with your wife. Just ask her like that without giving her any clues. Let HER describe her information about it. Ask her why they are getting a divorce and ask if there is anything you can do. I predict you might get a different story if you call her up. What would it hurt?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Has your friend encouraged you to move out?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709 |
My wife is pursuing the drummer at church.
he and I have been friends for several years now.
OM had no idea about this, he thought she was trying to obtain spiritual information about our marriage while she was texting him.
But when D-day came I called and told him. He was pissed.
She sent him a text telling she was humiliated (after I exposed it)
he sent her a text back saying he is angry about being used and no longer wants to be texted.
She tried to cover it up as a "misunderstanding."
On Monday, he called me saying she sent ANOTHER text this time outright asking him for a relationship.
He sent her a final "NO" and said he called his cell phone provider to block her from contacting him.
She blew it off the first time as that I lied and made this up. Pastor and associate pastor know.
He is getting divorced himself Justtiredofit. I am sorry but your friend's claim that he had no idea of what your wife was up to is totally and completely unbelievable. I think your friend is just trying to do some damage control and spinning of the truth to save his own face. He's mad that he was being used? What? That makes no sense. He's mad that he got found out. I bet if you look deep enough you will find a physical affair here. I know you don't want to believe it...neither did I. My husband was great buddies with the husband of his OW also. That doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry. I think you should move back home. It is great that OM threw your wife under the bus. Now both marriages can stand a chance at recovery. Did you read the first thread in this topic? Start Here First<<<<-----link
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Agree with pokerface. I SMELL A RAT!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232 |
Agree with pokerface. I SMELL A RAT! x3. sorry, tired.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
I can't tell you how much marriage advice I got from the OW.
She was my oldest friend. She held my hand and said she was sorry my marriage was going through a rough patch.
That she didn't understand why he was acting strangely.
The whole time she was sleeping with him and knew exactly why.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
147
guests, and
46
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
