Dh asked me via text a bit ago how I am doing today. I told him I have a headache...he repleid, 'I'm sorry baby doll, lover best friend.'

And he is always like this. I have to pinch myself at times to believe he is real.

I was thinking about the contrast effect. I think I did my contrasting in the 26 years I was married. I got to know myself and what kind of person I liked and didn't like (just as friends---husbands of friends). I recognized a good quality man by the facts of his life....he came highly recommended by people I trusted.

Definitely something to think about.

x 2

Was the day before a weekend and now it is a workday? Since you are in UK, not sure the time difference from here.

He texted me mid morning/afternoon every day throughout the week in the run up to the date, Mon-Sat. But suddenly after the first meeting he didn't want to disturb me at work?

But that's ok. Some fibs (like having a family dinner to go to) are fine at this point.

I am really glad that you started this particular thread. It will be a great resource for many by watching your journey.

Just been asked out on a second date by artist man. I am going to have to try much harder to not like him.

Woo hoo. What are the plans?

Any more vibes on accountant man?

LOL. It is difficult to think straight when there is attraction and you get a long well. Do you have a list? I had a top ten list and I kept referring to it over and over again when we were dating. I gave him the list on our wedding day. (of course he wasn't allowed to see it or know about it before then! Didn't want him 'becoming what I wanted')

Indie,

After being out of the dating game for so long (like you, more like never really got into it) I must show my ignorance and say that I'm surprised that women actually talk like that.

Are these co-workers really willing to hit the sack on the first not-a-date? I find that scary, if not downright repulsive.

The fact that you have integrity makes you a catch, and it sounds like artist man is starting to see and appreciate that.

One thing I do want to pass you is to not read to much into when the txts happen after the first not-a-date. This fellow has probably been trained to play the mind games by other women, and so he most likely delayed texting you because he didn't want to appear too interested as that may have gotten a negative reaction from previous women. He no doubt is trying to make the best impression based on his past dating experience.

If you really like him (and it sounds like you do) then hint that your not like the others in that you don't care for the games. The idea is that you want him to be comfortable enough to show you his true self which is what you are really evaluating.

I hope that makes sense, I'm still half asleep,

ak

Yep games are for children. Ugh. Just before dh met me he had been pursuing a woman that he thought he might be interested in. She played those games. Wouldn't answer the phone, call back a week later, etc. The INSTANT she found out we were dating she was suddenly available. Too late.

Dh texted me when I went to the bathroom at our friend's house the night we met. He still claims he didn't know I was going to the bathroom. LOL.

That is what makes Indie a gem.

I have found that your average mid-thirties girl is not interested in anything but playing mind games. It's beyond frustrating.

<small sidetrack, sorry Indie>
I'll give an example, 1 week after divorce my ex-wife suddenly realized that her bitterness was killing her and now wants to try and met my needs. She is trying to suck me back in to play her games again. If it wasn't for the kids I would pack my stuff and move to the other side of the country.

Yes, I know I need a intermediary, but I'm not going to ask one of my friends wifes to do it, and dudes just don't want to get in the middle of it. The only real candidate is my brother, but his wife doesn't want him anywhere around my ex because she knows how seductive and manipulative my ex can be.
</small sidetrack, sorry Indie>

Indie can correct me, but I didn't think that "snog" means "go to bed with." More like making out. (Tho, not something I'd necessarily do on a first date with a stranger either.)

Ha! I thot it meant sex too. My ds12 was highly amused that I didn't know what it meant. He watches Dr. Who doncha know.

Snog is just kissing. I learned it from Harry Potter books

ROFL!!!!

A snog is just a kiss! Nothing more! Ewwww!

I should also point out that myself and my nearest deskmate tried to explain you would NEVER kiss someone in that sort of situation. You've spent a few hours getting to know each other, but you're still strangers.

We two were the only ones in the quartet who had been on blind dates. The other two had only ever been on dates AFTER getting into relationships. They are a bit younger and still find it easy to meet men.

Dating as a concept is actually pretty foreign to British culture. It is pretty much is exclusively limited to the internet. A British man is unlikely to ask a woman he knows on a date. He's far more likely to engineer subtle situations where they can get to know each other. Though you do come across the odd confident soul who will give asking you out a shot, which I like. Dating is a bit more common in London though.

I think as a culture we're a bit lost there. People used to get acquainted at dance halls and get walked home by people they'd known all their lives. People still tend to avoid looking for the right one and settle for whoever is right there. Maybe the internet will shake us up a bit.

I wouldn't hint about it...I'd be very clear and direct so there is no misunderstanding. Most people (especially the divorced) seem to be on that page about playing games and drama. That's my experience anyway. Many profiles also address this issue so it is usually easy to bring up the subject and clear the air upfront.

Interesting...very, very different than the US.

Game playing. Hmmm. I wouldn't call it game playing on his part to wait until evening to text me.

It was just natural curiosity on his part to see if I would text. He texts straight back when I text him and told me an hour into the date he really liked me.

I've avoided taking any lead but I am encouraging him. I didn't want to take the lead. For our date he took my hints that I wanted him to suggest something and he said drinks or cinema. I chose drinks because it's a better way to get to know someone.

It really is! Whenever I'm in the states I feel like inviting a party of men over to host a dating seminar!

But the women are a problem too. They don't know how to respond to date invites because they don't expect them.

Accountant man is still texting, but he says odd things. I dunno. I need some contrast effect for artist man.