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regarding her Muslim faith, she converted in the fog.
As it has been pointed out, how can she be a practicing muslim while in adultery?
They stone adulterers.
Personally I would NOT POJA religious education concerning my kids.
Why negotiate with the Devil?
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regarding her Muslim faith, she converted in the fog.
As it has been pointed out, how can she be a practicing muslim while in adultery?
They stone adulterers.
Personally I would NOT POJA religious education concerning my kids.
Why negotiate with the Devil? Jedi, I told her when I found out that she converted that her conversion is profane and an offense to God because of the adultery. I have also told this to her POS affair partner, who is lucky he is overseas. She knows I will not accept it, and she knows that it is completely off limits to the children. They are Catholic and will stay Catholic, at least until they are adults. She does not practice her faith in the home, and hasn't been to Mosque since returning home. She has also told me she doesn't want the kids to convert. She will not try, and she has not broached the subject with them in the pat 14 months that she has been a Muslim. They are safe.
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Did you ever send a follow-up letter to OM's BW?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Did you ever send a follow-up letter to OM's BW? I have not sent the letter yet, but plan to draft it and mail it this weekend. Work has usurped my time; however, I am anxious to get the letter off. I wish she would have answered her phone.
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regarding her Muslim faith, she converted in the fog.
As it has been pointed out, how can she be a practicing muslim while in adultery?
They stone adulterers.
Personally I would NOT POJA religious education concerning my kids.
Why negotiate with the Devil? Jedi, I told her when I found out that she converted that her conversion is profane and an offense to God because of the adultery. I have also told this to her POS affair partner, who is lucky he is overseas. She knows I will not accept it, and she knows that it is completely off limits to the children. They are Catholic and will stay Catholic, at least until they are adults. She does not practice her faith in the home, and hasn't been to Mosque since returning home. She has also told me she doesn't want the kids to convert. She will not try, and she has not broached the subject with them in the pat 14 months that she has been a Muslim. They are safe. I commend you for that. But that is also why you should remain divorced from her. She left the Church and your marriage. You aren't married in Christ (If the unbelieving depart, let them depart) and you aren't married legally. Does your Priest know she has renounced the Churvh and Christ? How can you have a marriage with MB principles with a Muslim? It isn't possible for a Christian.
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The BW might know already but not want to deal with it.
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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Just the 3,
You are lucky to have found a faith based website geared to restoring marriages in MarriageBuilders.
For insight into the "reversion" your wife underwent in the hotel room, I suggest you buy a copy of Robert Spencer's "The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran" to understand the ease of your ex wife's reversion.
Adulterers have an entitlement mentality, the OM has it in spades, and he is bolstered by canon law in his holy book and the traditions that guide the believers.
I hope you restore your marriage and your family. You've got guts.
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regarding her Muslim faith, she converted in the fog.
As it has been pointed out, how can she be a practicing muslim while in adultery?
They stone adulterers.
Personally I would NOT POJA religious education concerning my kids.
Why negotiate with the Devil? Jedi, I told her when I found out that she converted that her conversion is profane and an offense to God because of the adultery. I have also told this to her POS affair partner, who is lucky he is overseas. She knows I will not accept it, and she knows that it is completely off limits to the children. They are Catholic and will stay Catholic, at least until they are adults. She does not practice her faith in the home, and hasn't been to Mosque since returning home. She has also told me she doesn't want the kids to convert. She will not try, and she has not broached the subject with them in the pat 14 months that she has been a Muslim. They are safe. I commend you for that. But that is also why you should remain divorced from her. She left the Church and your marriage. You aren't married in Christ (If the unbelieving depart, let them depart) and you aren't married legally. Does your Priest know she has renounced the Churvh and Christ? How can you have a marriage with MB principles with a Muslim? It isn't possible for a Christian. Yes, two priests and a bishop know, and all have encouraged me to reconcile with my wife, even if she remains Muslim.
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The BW might know already but not want to deal with it. Yes, I believe that is true.
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Just the 3,
You are lucky to have found a faith based website geared to restoring marriages in MarriageBuilders.
For insight into the "reversion" your wife underwent in the hotel room, I suggest you buy a copy of Robert Spencer's "The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran" to understand the ease of your ex wife's reversion.
Adulterers have an entitlement mentality, the OM has it in spades, and he is bolstered by canon law in his holy book and the traditions that guide the believers.
I hope you restore your marriage and your family. You've got guts. Bellevue, Yes, "reversion." I didn't use that term because it would be confusing to the forum folks. I might check out that book, but I already know how easy it was for her to revert. Having researched a few things, your post makes sense to me. You seem to have insight into this topic. I am hoping that as my wife exits the fog her Muslim faith will recede with it. I see signs of it already, though I am not banking on just faith. There were things that happened in the church and in our marriage that put her off with the Catholic faith. I think she associated the Church, which she loved before, with a lot of problems in our marriage (I spread myself thin with volunteering and a priest in our parish yelled at her just as she was becoming disillusioned). I am going to work at respectfully trying to bring her out of the Muslim faith and back to her Catholic faith. But I will not use a stick other than to say I can't abide her practicing the faith in our home.
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So, you don't consider you having dated, while you didn't have an annulment, as adultery?
When I asked about you calling her your ExW, and you answered that that was what you started calling her after your divorce, and you wanted to remain constant, I meant why did you BEGIN calling her that if you didn't believe religiously that you two were actually divorced? Is it possible that you wanted to justify you starting to date by calling her you ExW?
See, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this because you are trying to say that you and your ExW(Since you are divorced, I am completely comfortable calling her that) don't fit into the renter mold, because you are still married, and now living together, and you will be renewing your vows, not getting remarried, but at the same time, you justify your dating, after getting a legal, and not religious divorce, because had you found someone whom you wanted to marry in the future, you could get an annulment. Does that mean that you are okay with anyone "dating" to scope out a new potential spouse for their future, because they can annul their current marriage?
Don't get me wrong. IMHO, I believe that you were well within your right to date, after you were legally divorced, of course that is because I don't hold to the same set of religious standards that you do. I am not trying to argue with you about that, but instead, I am trying to show you that your logic is flawed, and fluid. It seems to change to suit your situation, and that rubs me the wrong way. It's your life though, all I am doing is trying to point out things that may help you improve yourself.
BTW, I believe that the biggest lesson you can teach other BSs through this situation right now is that you shouldn't date until and unless you are completely ready to close the chapter on your previous marriage. You are holding people to your own personal religious standards. Which is wrong. Religion is a personal decision. What it right for one is right for that one person. Your standards are right for you because you are making the decision for yourself. As long as a BS waits to be divorced there is no reason to say he should not date. As to calling a unfaithful wife the same logic applies. What the BH wants to call his WW is up to him an whatever he wants to call her is the best name. WW, XW, FWW, EXW, S(*t, Wh**e, etc, etc, are all ok. In my religion when you get a civil divorce the church says in their eyes you are still married. You can not get remarried to your EX in the church because you still are married according to them. So to be legally married in the courts eyes you have to have stand up before a judge. No religion is without sin. Read religious history. Last I knew churches are still run by people. When is the last time God said mass? TheRoad, I would like to know where exactly I was holding someone to MY religious beliefs? I did no such thing. I was merely trying to point out the fact that Just is seaking out of both sides of his mouth. In some ways, he says that he was divorced, so he was free to date, and then the next thing he says is that he and his ExW are still married, so living together doesn't make them renters. It was as if Just was using bits and pieces of MB to justify whatever it is he wished to do at that moment. He wanted to date, after he was LEGALLY divorced, but didn't have an annulment, which for HIS beliefs means he was technically still married, so he began calling his ExW his Ex, and started dating. Now that his ExW has decided that she made a mistake, and would like to try to recover the marriage she once had, after OM became to repugnant to her because AGHAST He was already married(because apparently the fact that SHE was married didn't mean much to her, but I digress), they shack up, but it's okay, because NOW, they are still religiously married. Just, the steps that the two of you have been taking seems, on paper to be the right ones. How has her attitude towards you and marriage changed? Is she showing remorse? I know it is not typical for a WW to show little remorse.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Legal divorced is divorced.
Divorced in the eyes of the IRS, misc. other entities.
A religious entity that does not recognize the divorce is fine but it doesn't make the other entities incorrect.
Apples and oranges.
You would need to re-legalize that marriage to make it all around and vibrantly true marriage.
HTMS
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What do your kids think of getting back with their mom?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Just3,
You are commiting a huge love buster by telling your wife she can't practice her faith in your home !!!
This is NOT MB!
mb is NO love busters. You openly say it will be a way of married life - to disrespect your wife's beliefs and forbid her from practicing them in your home. !!
That is a RENTER attitude
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Brain,
Our kids our elated and the house is back to the normal, happy family state it was in before the disaster of the past two years.
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Legal divorced is divorced.
Divorced in the eyes of the IRS, misc. other entities.
A religious entity that does not recognize the divorce is fine but it doesn't make the other entities incorrect.
Apples and oranges.
You would need to re-legalize that marriage to make it all around and vibrantly true marriage.
HTMS Getting legally remarried is the stated goal we are working towards, and we are very close to getting there. She has met my EP's. We are reconciled. Isn't that the whole point of the exercise?
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So, you don't consider you having dated, while you didn't have an annulment, as adultery?
When I asked about you calling her your ExW, and you answered that that was what you started calling her after your divorce, and you wanted to remain constant, I meant why did you BEGIN calling her that if you didn't believe religiously that you two were actually divorced? Is it possible that you wanted to justify you starting to date by calling her you ExW?
See, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this because you are trying to say that you and your ExW(Since you are divorced, I am completely comfortable calling her that) don't fit into the renter mold, because you are still married, and now living together, and you will be renewing your vows, not getting remarried, but at the same time, you justify your dating, after getting a legal, and not religious divorce, because had you found someone whom you wanted to marry in the future, you could get an annulment. Does that mean that you are okay with anyone "dating" to scope out a new potential spouse for their future, because they can annul their current marriage?
Don't get me wrong. IMHO, I believe that you were well within your right to date, after you were legally divorced, of course that is because I don't hold to the same set of religious standards that you do. I am not trying to argue with you about that, but instead, I am trying to show you that your logic is flawed, and fluid. It seems to change to suit your situation, and that rubs me the wrong way. It's your life though, all I am doing is trying to point out things that may help you improve yourself.
BTW, I believe that the biggest lesson you can teach other BSs through this situation right now is that you shouldn't date until and unless you are completely ready to close the chapter on your previous marriage. You are holding people to your own personal religious standards. Which is wrong. Religion is a personal decision. What it right for one is right for that one person. Your standards are right for you because you are making the decision for yourself. As long as a BS waits to be divorced there is no reason to say he should not date. As to calling a unfaithful wife the same logic applies. What the BH wants to call his WW is up to him an whatever he wants to call her is the best name. WW, XW, FWW, EXW, S(*t, Wh**e, etc, etc, are all ok. In my religion when you get a civil divorce the church says in their eyes you are still married. You can not get remarried to your EX in the church because you still are married according to them. So to be legally married in the courts eyes you have to have stand up before a judge. No religion is without sin. Read religious history. Last I knew churches are still run by people. When is the last time God said mass? TheRoad, I would like to know where exactly I was holding someone to MY religious beliefs? I did no such thing. I was merely trying to point out the fact that Just is seaking out of both sides of his mouth. In some ways, he says that he was divorced, so he was free to date, and then the next thing he says is that he and his ExW are still married, so living together doesn't make them renters. It was as if Just was using bits and pieces of MB to justify whatever it is he wished to do at that moment. He wanted to date, after he was LEGALLY divorced, but didn't have an annulment, which for HIS beliefs means he was technically still married, so he began calling his ExW his Ex, and started dating. Now that his ExW has decided that she made a mistake, and would like to try to recover the marriage she once had, after OM became to repugnant to her because AGHAST He was already married(because apparently the fact that SHE was married didn't mean much to her, but I digress), they shack up, but it's okay, because NOW, they are still religiously married. Just, the steps that the two of you have been taking seems, on paper to be the right ones. How has her attitude towards you and marriage changed? Is she showing remorse? I know it is not typical for a WW to show little remorse. On paper? Really? That's like an asterisk, right? I've followed the steps in real life, not on paper, and they are paying off. Sorry if our "shacking up" spoils the soup for you. My ex wife's attitude has changed dramatically. So has mine. We are both much more considerate and sensitive each others needs, and we are cognizant of the LB's that we made are committed to avoiding them in the future. Only time will tell the rest of the story, but we are on the MB plan. As far as remorse goes, she has shown it. There have been occasions where she has wept in shame and self disgust. She says sorry often.
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Just3,
You are commiting a huge love buster by telling your wife she can't practice her faith in your home !!!
This is NOT MB!
mb is NO love busters. You openly say it will be a way of married life - to disrespect your wife's beliefs and forbid her from practicing them in your home. !!
That is a RENTER attitude She was not a muslim when he married her. She became a muslim for her OM. His WW remaining in that religion would be the same as a WW keeping the maritial matress when she brought home the OM to rut, and now wants her BH to use it now. Or WW keep and wear clothes or jewelry that OM bought her. Or WW changed the way she kept her hair to make OM happy. Or listen to music a WW never listened to before the affair but did with her OM and wants to now. For a WW to continue any changes that were brought about by the affair is a Love Buster, On her part against her BH. Legal divorced is divorced.
Divorced in the eyes of the IRS, misc. other entities.
A religious entity that does not recognize the divorce is fine but it doesn't make the other entities incorrect.
Apples and oranges.
You would need to re-legalize that marriage to make it all around and vibrantly true marriage.
HTMS Getting legally remarried is the stated goal we are working towards, and we are very close to getting there. She has met my EP's. We are reconciled. Isn't that the whole point of the exercise? Yes.
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No.
A person can change their beliefs.
Dr Harley often mentions this on the show. He was ask in premarital counseling: How will you respond if your spouse converts to Islam?
For just3 to dictate what religion is permitted in the house is a HUGE love buster.
Besides they actually aren't married now.
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But it sounds like her BEING Islam is a big LB, not to mention a huge trigger.
This is going to take some careful thinking on both your parts.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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