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Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
What if she just doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to. And there is no one else. Love can be restored, though. If there really is no one else we can help you with a Plan A.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 15 |
I dont have any suspension. And I dont know what to do.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I dont have any suspension. And I dont know what to do. Did you read my posts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Does she use a computer very much? What about a cell phone?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
I dont have any suspension. And I dont know what to do. There is an unsolved mystery here and Mel is helping you find out the truth starting with the most obvious possibilities. Think of it as like going to the doctor with an intense pain. He is going to try one thing at a time until he has a definitive diagnosis. Then, if he can, he will cure you. Be patient and work with her, you will get through this.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171 |
I think what they are saying is that even if we believe you that she doesn't want sex, why would we want to divorce you if everthign else is okay? From her point of view, everything else must not be okay. That is why we are suggesting investing more time in to the Marriage Builders Program.
Is she saying "I want a divorce because I feel guilty because I don't like sex" then you can say:
"Good because I would like to get divorced and get married to someone who does like sex"
or
"Nonsense...we are married and we can make it work despite this".
We are giving you another choice because we have been seeing similar stories for YEARS and often the woman does not want sex because she does not feel intimacy with her husband because he is not meeting her needs. We are suggesting that you meet her emotional needs (using the marriage builders program).
Then either 1) She will feel more intimate and want to ahve sex or 2)She will feel more intimate and not want to have sex but will feel good in her marriage because she will feel loved.
The Harley'swill tlel you that it is in the family's best interest to keep the marraige intact if it can be a good marrage...best financially and best emotionally.
Finally, ask yourself what will you tell people when they ask why you are getting divorced.
"Oh, my wife doesn't like sex and feels guilty about it so she told me to leave."
Doesn't that sound suspicious? If everything was okay for her otherwise, why would she want you to leave?
Either 1) she is miserable otherwise
2) There is someone waiting in the wings
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