Why only the 1? Our first session was more or less a get-to-know session. We had a total of 5 or 6 (I forget) sessions that were a combo of individual and joint chats.

I doubt Dr Chalmers was given adequate time to discuss enough of the principals to sway your W's feelings of the program.

Any chance you could get back in with her? Give the program a real chance at succeeding.

If your W were to describe the state of her M what would she say? Would she be content to live the rest of her days with things staying the same?

I would get counseling with Dr Chalmers. You didn't even do that. She is not there to resolve a specific conflict but to motivate your wife and teach you the skills to resolve conflicts. You guys didn't even get started.

Dd you even return the questionnaires to her?

Yes, it was basically an intro. And DW liked her, thought it was good, so overall a positive experience. Just limited by finances, but we're getting a grip on that. I was going to hold off til I landed a new role/job. Interview today went really well.

DW thinks our M is 'good' and 'much better' than others, but cant understand why I'm so unhappy with it. A couple years ago when we were arguing, she said she was just waiting to leave after the kids grow up. Now she says "We'll have time after the kids are grown up." And I would like to give her a 'passionate romantic' relationship all of our life.

gotta that MB Radio clip....

I was reading the 5 steps book in bed last night. DW came in, but didnt want to talk about it. I asked again this morning, she said she would do the book after her exam saturday. (yeah!)

I'll call MB and set up appt next week. (edit: Done!)

What is the 5 steps book?

It's probably Five Steps to Romantic Love.

There ya go. Be the lighthouse Runner. Show the way. Even if you see Dr Chalmers alone it's better than sitting their stagnant like you are now (we know it isn't stagnant but closer to a slow killing poison).


Seems to me she's showing signs that she's unhappy too or realizes you are unhappy and wants things to be different. There's your window of opportunity.

This last time when I spoke to my W about our M I didn't point any fingers, didn't try to cast any blame. I simply stated "I am unhappy and I assume you are too. I�d like to do something to change that. Will you join me in counseling?�. She responded with "I was looking for a counselor too".

I like the counseling. It is very action oriented. Although I was tempted to vent Dr J always kept me on track of doing the next thing that was going to make a difference rather than dwelling on the crappy dynamics that were currently in place.

Our Sessions:
#1. Meet those needs
#2. Avoid LBs
#3. POJA those things that create conflict and/or withdraw love units.
#4. EPs

SET UP THE COUNSELING. I totally agree with Mr. Alias..you start. You clean up your side of the street!!! You be honest with what you need and what you need to improve and start counseling!!! DO IT.

"I like the counseling. It is very action oriented. Although I was tempted to vent Dr J always kept me on track of doing the next thing that was going to make a difference rather than dwelling on the crappy dynamics that were currently in place. "

*snort* I know how she feels!!

So I guess the messaging is turned off. Can I post the date of the show here, then delete it later this evening?

Sure!

So, three nights w/out TV! And DW is being nicer, AND wants to go to the movies this w/e. Several interview done, she wants to move someplace warmer. And less hectic. No argument there.

Ok, so try 6/9/11. Thats us. And I'm trusting the Mods can delete this late tonight. I dont mind sharing with you fine people, but I i'd like some "internet privacy"

So do you NOT want your show posted?

Yeah, "holy moley" !!! Two years gone by already???? What was I thinkin'?

I would prefer it not be posted forever. But, I'd like you guys to hear it

The email was to the radio program, he responded there.

So no surprises I hope. Apologies for not sharing it earlier, I'll have to write up some brief history for Dr C. Would make the intro faster.

I'm not sure what you're worried about, but if you allow me to post it others will be able to hear Dr. H's advice first hand. It may also help someone else who is in a similar situation, but it's your call.

How could your email identify you? Did Dr H use your first and surname? If just your first name, is it a particularly unusual name? "Dave" could be anybody.