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Hahahaha.
I love you all. I'm on a date with artistman right now, so I will catch you later..
Its going VERY well! Tell him to keep his mitts off the merchandise!!!  I just told him I had a good Texan friend who has lots of guns  That's right! ![[Linked Image from pic50.picturetrail.com]](http://pic50.picturetrail.com/VOL427/742855/9410112/401004835.jpg)
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Glad you're having fun! I think that's the best part of dating w/o commitment. You still have lots of time to get to know each other better. Meanwhile I would encourage you to continue to develop OS friendships in your friends circle. Don't give ALL your free time to artist man! Oh and I thoroughly enjoyed reading the debate on your thread  It is all so interesting it is hard for us (me) not to be nosy.. haha.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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There is also now a RL person who I care about and am dating who will be examined and picked apart on here if I continue. I am not sure if that is something I want to invite, or if it is wise to do so. You are right. In my zeal to be protective and to encourage you to take things slowly while also being diplomatic on your thread I took a shot at artist guy too. I was trying to make an point by example but looking back I think I was way to speculative and personal about a guy I don't know at all. It's not like you shared a couple details about the guy so we could psychoanalyze him. I can't imagine what he would think were he to read this thread after just a couple dates with you. I imagine he'd be offended. Therefore since I can't edit my post from yesterday, I hereby retract my comment about him possibly fearing marriage from my previous post and apologize to you and Artist guy should he ever read here. [I was going to quote the part I was retracting but then that would essentially be saying it again...so I edited at the last second] That's not to say it might not be a legitimate concern or question someday but it's certainly not something I should have said without being asked or upon such little information. Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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If I was artist man and the woman I was dating kept talking about 30 dates I would go outside and bang my head on the brick wall instead of keep listening to her talk about it. See Jedi, She would only have to mention it once, and I would know I was in a world of competition...Now if that's all she talked about..I would know the date was really over already.. But considering where you are in your marriage/divorce...and where I am in life in general..We are not even candidates..Sour grapes? People saying what they would do and warning what to watch out for with/to Indie will be a challenge to say the least on this thread. Of course hope springs eternal..
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There is also now a RL person who I care about and am dating who will be examined and picked apart on here if I continue. I am not sure if that is something I want to invite, or if it is wise to do so. You are right. In my zeal to be protective and to encourage you to take things slowly while also being diplomatic on your thread I took a shot at artist guy too. I was trying to make an point by example but looking back I think I was way to speculative and personal about a guy I don't know at all. It's not like you shared a couple details about the guy so we could psychoanalyze him. I can't imagine what he would think were he to read this thread after just a couple dates with you. I imagine he'd be offended. Therefore since I can't edit my post from yesterday, I hereby retract my comment about him possibly fearing marriage from my previous post and apologize to you and Artist guy should he ever read here. [I was going to quote the part I was retracting but then that would essentially be saying it again...so I edited at the last second] That's not to say it might not be a legitimate concern or question someday but it's certainly not something I should have said without being asked or upon such little information. Mr. Wondering Aww that's OK Mr W.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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If I was artist man and the woman I was dating kept talking about 30 dates I would go outside and bang my head on the brick wall instead of keep listening to her talk about it. See Jedi, She would only have to mention it once, and I would know I was in a world of competition...Now if that's all she talked about..I would know the date was really over already.. But considering where you are in your marriage/divorce...and where I am in life in general..We are not even candidates..Sour grapes? People saying what they would do and warning what to watch out for with/to Indie will be a challenge to say the least on this thread. Of course hope springs eternal.. You both make a great point. Someone who isn't 'present' enjoying the moment and digging your company is unlikely to be what Dr H describes as a 'lover' or possibly even a 'liker' of you in Bs,Rs&FLs. A freeloader approach, ditch and run unless the date is easy going, fun, satisfying and fulfilling means that we discover our lovers and likers. I'm off to a fun easygoing date now folks..
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm off to a fun easygoing date now folks..  Yayy
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You both make a great point. Someone who isn't 'present' enjoying the moment and digging your company is unlikely to be what Dr H describes as a 'lover' or possibly even a 'liker' of you in Bs,Rs&FLs.
A freeloader approach, ditch and run unless the date is easy going, fun, satisfying and fulfilling means that we discover our lovers and likers.
I'm off to a fun easygoing date now folks.. I would be careful here ... lovers and likers can be deceiving. If someone wants something from you they can mask real EN's. For example if they know you are financially sound ... they may do things to meet your needs because they are after what you really can offer them ... money. Or you are physically really really attracted to someone so you immediately change to be what they want so that your need for PA will be met ... It is this automatic ... on the spot ... drug HIGH of LUST ... that you have to be careful ... people will and can change on the fly to adapt ... over time that is when your really discover they can't (ACTUALLY NEVER COULD) meet the needs you thought they were meeting in the beginning ... I think it is called "Bait and Switch" This is EXACTLY how a wayward goes about hooking his next partner ... the wayward becomes what the other person thinks they are getting ... only time can weed out the bait and switch. This is why one must arm themselves with key questions on the date ... you can slip the questions in ... i.e. how do you feel about negotiation? Are you okay with a "do-nothing" approach if something can't be negotiated? Are friends of the opposite sex ever okay? I could go on and on ... but just wanted to reiterate LUST can and often does change one temporarily ... be caution of this DRUG!!!!
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Yes, I agree WF. People can mask real ENs. Or their real selves.
If anyone is struggling with verifying this in the early dating stage, I suggest an old reporters' trick. Tilt your head in sympathetic listener's mode. Don't fill any silences. Just go 'mmm' and make encouraging 'I'm listening' sounds etc, don't give anything away.
The other person automatically fills the awkward silence and spills their guts. Without knowing anything about you, they reveal themselves.
It's good. Try it!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Great date with artistman today. Walking around the Chester ramparts (the walls Roman soldiers used to patrol which circle the town), looking in old antiquey shops, having coffee, walking by the river, then dinner.
We have found yet more stuff we have in common. Both obsessed with the Mentalist and we both want to go to Stonehenge (surprisingly few people do). We didn't shut up all day. It was hours spent together and felt like a few minutes. I like the way he thinks.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I want to go to Stonehenge.
(glad you had a good time).
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Stonehenge you say? Hmmm.. 
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Love the mentalist! Not too sure about Stonehenge. Sounds like the perfect date to me.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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The mentalist you say?...Hmmm..
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The perfect date you say?...Hmmmm
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If anyone is struggling with verifying this in the early dating stage, I suggest an old reporters' trick. Tilt your head in sympathetic listener's mode. Don't fill any silences. Just go 'mmm' and make encouraging 'I'm listening' sounds etc, don't give anything away.
The other person automatically fills the awkward silence and spills their guts. Without knowing anything about you, they reveal themselves.
It's good. Try it! I think they did this on Austin Powers...
Last edited by ConstantProcess; 02/03/13 02:41 PM.
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Indie,
Thanks for your thread. You are so smart, and so brave. I am not there yet, but saving lots of tips for when it is time.
I am sooooo happy you are having a good time, and found someone worth exploring!
Enjoy!
E
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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The perfect date you say?...Hmmmm Hahaha.. yes.. why the chin scratching? OH!!!! I see what you did there :P Didn't work!
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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Here's the show about the 30 date question submitted by WalkinForward Radio Clip about the 30 dates question Segment #2
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The perfect date you say?...Hmmmm Perfect date would be one WITH the Mentalist (Simon Baker)!
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