I think that has changed and was addressed in a dating thread not to long ago. I believe Markos posted about it.

Thanks BR,

My awareness has heightened since being here. It has made me more aware of what to stay away from.

I forgot to mention that OMW contacted me a few weeks ago. For some reason she was sensing things weren't right with her H. She still had questions about my WxW and I tried to be polite and answer some of them. She was asking me about locations of WxW, but I explained that I didn't talk to her and didn't know anything. About the same time, my DS 12, told me that he had WxW phone playing a game and POSOM called while he was playing.

I let the OMW know what my DS told me, but came to regret it because the daughter of OMW called me angry and said to stay out of their relationship and that I was creating more problems for them. She said that if OMW wanted to stay with POSOM knowing how he is, it's their problem, not mine. OMW told me that she was to move to be with POSOM within a couple of days of contacting me. She said she wanted to be sure that WxW and POSOM weren't still in contact before she made her final decision.

After the daughter of OMW called me, I stopped responding to texts and phone calls from OMW. I didn't want to get dragged into the mess that still exists between the three of them (WxW, POSOM, OMW). I couldn't believe after being chased by OMW, my WxW is still in contact with POSOM. I've learned so much from this site that the word "wayward" has a new meaning. When I think of it, I picture crazy people because that's what they are. You have to be crazy to chase someone that cannot offer you any future. I don't pay it any more thought. I almost forgot about it til now.

I don't know if OMW ever moved back in with POSOM, but it was a big deal because he's in a different state. He was transfered this past summer.

That being said, I'm doing great. I'm only associating with positive, good people and preparing to buy a house on my own. Hopefully I'll have it this summer.

Thats great.
Its good to cut out drama and toxic people.
I just cut out my ex wifes drunk mother and its one more step towards serenity

You really have no need to speak to OMW anymore. I'm glad to see that you have decided to remove yourself from the drama. A little closer to Plan B.

I was caught off guard today. WxW told me that she misses me and has been thinking a lot about me. She said she knows she should have tried harder in our marriage. I didn't say anything. I was in shock. She said she thinks about me when she wakes up and before she goes to sleep.

I'm at a loss for words. My heart started racing. I am not going to react because I don't know what to make of it. I am scared to even think about going down that path.

Is she still with OM?

Oh good grief.

Wayward speak for, "I am not getting my ENs met, and I wanna know if there's an option with you."

Not a total surprise, though.

More importantly is how do you want to react? Do you want to react? Would you ever envision dating your ExW? Does she fit into your idea of a suitable future spouse? What would that even look like?

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I agree you should be careful there! She has long history of being poor wife material with her serial cheating and demonstrably poor job of meeting your needs. If it were to work, she would have to make significant personal changes.

Be careful, friend!

Bless her.....she has some sense of loss over it all.

Thank heaven.

If she ever tells you she wants to reconcile come here for input and direction.
Meanwhile, take her statements as fishing for cake eating.

You probably are pretty cute and she is remembering the things she kind of liked about you.

Did you plan B her after divorce? I would be iffy.

GJM, for good or ill, regardless of what does or not happen between you and xWW, you now KNOW how powerful was your "terminal" Plan A, as (then) WW frittered away her last best chance to live a happy life.

Seems like Dr. H and the MB Plan has yet another endorsement from real life!

Oh, for the love of God, let's not go there again on this thread. I got in enough trouble the first time around.

G, be careful friend. I know you still love her and she's the mother of your children, but let's not forget what she put you through.

You deserve better than this.

On the flip side, it is your life.

I wonder how I will respond daily,when or if my ex wife says the same to me.
I just tell myself to "think and act logically"
You do the same

Did you ever give her conditions of recovery? I have prepared, to steel myself and keep logic at the forefront, a list of behaviors and actions I would need to see from my WH to even entertain a conversation. If she is idly expressing missing you, but with no honest remorse/regret/RESPONSIBILITY for all the harm she caused (not just to you but to your kids...splitting your whole family up), I'd say offer her a potato chip.

You've been through such a journey of transformation, I'm sure she admires the strength you've shown, but is she actually capable of being there for you and your kids?

Of course any human would have moments that they feel some regret for hurting someone else they used to care about.
I think another poster might be right she may be feeling a little down because her needs aren't being met and you were such a willing person at one time.

That's all it probably is, she made her bed and fought you tooth and nail for it.
You are in a better man emotionally and stronger for it now..
You know what it takes to have a marriage survive and for two people to be happy.
Don't forget what you have learned.

I like that you didn't respond to her statement.
Just leave it at that.

I would ask you if you see the changes in her that would fill the requirements for you to be happy......
If not stay clear......

GJM,
You are getting a lot of good feedback here. JenniferVoyager makes a lot of sense here regarding having your conditions in place should things develop further from here.

When I read your post about her saying she missed you and thought of you in the morning and evening, and how your heart raced, it reminded me of when my WW came back into the picture. I'm sure that you are experiencing the full spectrum of emotions right now. You have moved on, and this probably dredges up the pain of the ordeal that you thought was behind you. Sorry, man!

I don't think what your ExWW said demands a response or action right now, but it is certainly noteworthy.

I never thought my WW would return, and she didn't until after our divorce was final. Like you, I was stunned. And I did not trust her. But I had conditions in place anyway. Having them ready, and having an ex wife willing to accept them enthusiastically, facilitated a successful recovery.

Only God knows where this goes from here. But as they say, success happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Whatever you do, be cautious.

She hasn't been with him physically since at least July, but they called each other on a regular basis. WxW told me that she stopped answering his calls a month ago and that he still tries to call her.

I don't have those answers. I wouldn't jump into it though. I would have to take it slow and watch her actions.

I will...I'm a lot more educated thanks to you and everyone else that has helped me here. I've read the books and I know what I don't want and I have a better idea on what to look for.