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Lets set a goal to get your marriage recovered.
The first step is killing this affair.
You need to set a goal for Exposure so we can move on to the next step.
Can you follow him home and get his info and plan on doing all exposure by Wednesday end of day? Yes I can follow him tomorrow.
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okay.
Go to the shop and follow the other man home and then you will know where he lives.
I wouldnt try to hack into her cell phone account. All you have to do is follow him after work.
Can you do that? Yes I can do this Great! Follow him home (like an undercover cop) and find his exact street address. Also get his license plate number. You can then find out who owns the residence by going to the County Assessor WEbsite They have an online lookup tool to find the owner of a property. Type in his street address and you have the owners name. Then go to dmvfiles.org and enter his license plate number. You can also order a criminal backgorund check on him once you have this info, for around $50.
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In the meantime, prepare a list of everyone you can expose to.
This includes married friends and family.
Write a letter using one of the templates provided on this website and have the letter prepared and ready to go!
Dont send anything out yet until Wednesday,
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okay.
Go to the shop and follow the other man home and then you will know where he lives.
I wouldnt try to hack into her cell phone account. All you have to do is follow him after work.
Can you do that? Yes I can do this Great! Follow him home (like an undercover cop) and find his exact street address. Also get his license plate number. You can then find out who owns the residence by going to the County Assessor WEbsite They have an online lookup tool to find the owner of a property. Type in his street address and you have the owners name. Then go to dmvfiles.org and enter his license plate number. You can also order a criminal backgorund check on him once you have this info, for around $50. I'm in the UK so not sure these sites will work but I'm sure there will be something similar. I'll have a dig around tonight.
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You could inform your wife's employer that you believe she has been using company time and resources to conduct her extramarital affair, and request that her work phone and computer be searched. I bet her work phone & computer contain evidence that her extramarital affair began before she moved out of the house.
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Ok, so followed him this morning - got his licence plate number (it's French) - also got a pic of him cuddling my Wife.
Paid for a search and now have a address in Paris for him.
Obviously I now have proof they are seeing each other but no proof it was going on whilst we were still together.
Do I send out the template letter to all of her friends and family on Facebook?
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Do I send out the template letter to all of her friends and family on Facebook? You said she has been telling people that her affair began after she moved out, and that could undermine your exposure. I gave you 2 different suggestions that could enable you to prove her affair began before she moved out. You ignored both suggestions. Now you are asking if you should do the exposure without that proof. Why?
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Id visit this animal's shop with your largest friend leaning against the car while you inform him that will not allow him to destroy your family. And that your next visit will result in a lot of pain.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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Id visit this animal's shop with your largest friend leaning against the car while you inform him that will not allow him to destroy your family. And that your next visit will result in a lot of pain. Don't threaten him. He is not worth getting arrested over.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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This guy is holding virtual gun to his family's head by screwing the other guy's wife. I consider the animal to be lucky to be getting a warning.
My childrens mental welfare overrides everything I did after dday. Someone stealing this guy's son's mother is causing mental degradation to the boy.
Again, the gallery owner is lucky to get a warning.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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Mike his wife is choosing to have an affair.
She is not being forced into having an affair.
Dr Harley recommends exposure. It allows the people in the affair to face the natural consequences of their actions.
Our goal is to expose by Wednesday end of day. You will need to send the template letters out to all family and friends on Facebook.
Today find his info and add as many of his family and married friends to the list that you can.
Did you do a criminal background check on him?
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Obviously I now have proof they are seeing each other but no proof it was going on whilst we were still together. Intact. Stop fixating on not having proof that the affair started before she moved out. You have proof that they are together now...three weeks after she moved out. Most people will be able to figure out that it must have started before and question her lies about it just starting. Here is a great template: FB exposure letter to family and friends of YOUR WS - this was written by board member, Underdog:
Dear friends and family,
I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of xxxx and I. As some of you know, xxxxx has recently asked me for a separation, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a xxxxx xxxxx who resides in xxxxxx. The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference.
She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on my babe, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end.
As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with xxxx to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.
I would so appreciate your support and prayers.
Warmest regards,
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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I'm wondering if he should take a proactive approach regarding the lies she has been telling about the timing of her affair. Perhaps it would be a good idea to insert the following into the first paragraph:
"To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a xxxxx xxxxx who resides in xxxxxx. Although she has been telling people that her affair began after she moved out of the house, the truth is that her affair began before she moved out of the house. In fact, the reason she moved out was to continue her affair without my interference."
*This could make Intact's exposure even more effective because people would realize that she has been lying to them, too.
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That is a good idea.
However if anyone would justify an affair 2 weeks after she moves out of the house, while married, they will probably justify it if she started while living with him.
Only an idiot would think she just met someone a few days after leaving her husband
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That is a good idea.
However if anyone would justify an affair 2 weeks after she moves out of the house, while married, they will probably justify it if she started while living with him.
Only an idiot would think she just met someone a few days after leaving her husband Her support system could unravel when people realize she has been lying to them, too.
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It doesn't matter if it started before or after she moved out. She is still MARRIED and committing adultery.
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2 days after she moved out she was spotted in a shopping centre holding hands with a man who works in a gallery opposite her. This is from your first post and I imagine how you discovered the affair. Although it is ideal to have the concrete proof, like a date stamped picture of the two of them in bed, sometimes a trusting spouse cannot get that type of proof when the affair was not discovered until after the WS moved out. You need to start KILLING this affair because everyday that you let pass you are getting closer to a broken home for your son. Do you have a clause in your 50/50 custody arrangement preventing WW from taking son out of the country or bringing him around other men? Is your custody agreement legal and binding? Put some conflict into her affair and show her the reality of a divorce.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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You are preaching to the choir. You know that his wife is committing adultery and I know that his wife is committing adultery. But if the people who receive Intact's exposure letters don't believe that his wife is committing adultery, the exposure could flop.
Intact said they may not consider it adultery because she has been telling them the affair didn't begin until after she moved out of the house. If that is the mindset he is up against, then that is the mindset he needs to challenge.
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Intact said they may not consider it adultery because she has been telling them the affair didn't begin until after she moved out of the house. If that is the mindset he is up against, then that is the mindset he needs to challenge. And that is just messed up but I get what you are saying. (And if you know my story, you know why I'm bristling). Perhaps the exposure letter can emphasize the fact that they are still legally and spiritually married or something.
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He should still expose regardless of how morally retarded her family is, but it would be helpful if he could get his hands on her cell phone bill. And intact, when you expose, tell them that she left to pursue her affair with joe scumbag. Don't even equivocate about it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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