No, not mocking at all, CW!

Just demonstrating an attention to detail that occasionally yields benefits! Glad to see you're progressing!

Thanks, NeverGuest.... Great demonstration!

So Valentine's Day is approaching.

This is a trigger opportunity for me, since the past 2 years Taffy asked OW (different ones each year) to be his Valentine. I still got the roses and we had a date each time, not on actual Valentine's, but beforehand, while I of course knew nothing about his other dates, just thought he was travelling for work. Last year, the Dolly cancelled on him at the last minute, so instead he took me to the romantic restaurant where he'd made the reservation 2 weeks before, and gave me the perfume he had purchased for her (ugh...but, it's almost used up!)

Anyway, I was thinking how can I reclaim Valentine's Day for US this year? So I proposed we start a new tradition. How would he feel if we wrote a corny poem or song for each other? Then presented it? So this year I suggested a country 'n' western theme, because they are easy to write and we can be totally silly and keep it light.

Proposed the idea to Taffy in this morning's hot tub meeting. (Most mornings we jump in the hot tub first thing, to organize our day, watch the birds, and get in some UA time.) At first, Taff said Valentine's was covered, as he has made a reservation at our fave restaurant. Which was to be a surprise. Which is great, but I really would rather avoid surprises, at least for now. Then, he thought about it, and liked the goofiness of it. I explained it will give us each a chance to work on a cost-free gift for each other which requires some thought in advance. So it is agreed. First annual Valentine's song exchange will be this year. Should be fun.

Nice idea! Hope you have a fantastic day creating new memories.
Note to self: Put in a hot tub for UA time in future house with future spouse.

Today, Taffy and I were on the show, discussing an incident that arose for us, regarding non-business interactions with other women at Taff's work.

Dr. Harley and Joyce got right to the meat of the matters and, as usual, provided us with excellent advice in a way we could both understand and feel good about.

Thanks to today's radio show, we know how Taffy has been attracting other women: his accent! You really need to cure him of that, Catwhit.

Apparently, Dr. Harley isn't going to let Joyce talk to Taffy again....

Update. We are signed up for the Online Programme, received our package, and have scheduled to start this Saturday....
FINALLY!

Thank you, Brainy!!
Excited for the possibilities....

This was really when the MB plan began to work for us. Sure, the books by ourselves helped a great deal; it got us started, but we weren't getting to the worksheets, had no accountability for our adherence to the program, and were missing out on the videos and CDs.

It was just SO helpful, and I'm very happy for you two that you are going to do this.

Best best wishes to you both.

Thanks, LongWay. Good to hear of your experience, and congratulations on your recovery!

As for us, it is one thing to understand/agree with the policies and concepts, and quite another to put them into practice, breaking our bad habits. So the online programme is our plan to get us moving. And the accountability coaching should be gold for us.

Another valuable asset to the Online Program is the access to the private forum. I have asked Dr. Harley several questions and get his answer within a few days. Just reading the threads there is illuminating.

Good news. After a few lessons, we really saw a positive difference in our marriage. Because we didn't have many lovebusters, we started with the affection lesson. At first, everything felt very forced and clinical. But, after a period of time, we had better habits. People talk about the four critical emotional needs: affection, conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment. We spent the most amount of time on these ENs. Less so on ones where we didn't have any issues.

Hope you see some great improvement soon.

AM

Thanks, ArmyMama. I am hoping there will be an exercise which will help us identify (and get consensus on) which areas need the most improvement.

And I think the structure of the program will allow Taffy and me to become more [/i]partners[i] in recovery, less one or other of us pushing/pulling.

There is a method that identifies which are the most important ENs to the two of you. Priorities are set based on the answers on the questionnaires.

Dr. Harley is so smart. I can't think of anything that he hadn't already thought about. He had a plan that addressed all aspects and in an order that made sense.

AM

I am greatly relieved, AM! And daily, I'm more impressed with Dr. Harley's brilliance.


At first, I was wary MB might be one of the typical "self help" programs, filled with platitudes, affirmations, dubious common sense and "purchasing opportunities" along with actual helpful advice. Nothing could be farther than the truth.

I like how Dr. Harley breaks down a marriage into a science and guidelines along with the spiritual as well. Good program wish I knew about it sooner. I am sure that you and your husband will be another success story. Keep it up!

Thanks, Tranq!

The Dolly just sent Taff an "invitation to connect" on LinkedIn... GRRR....