First you must recognize That only a fool would take a Prince Fan for granted.
He is awesome!

princefan, I gave you information about what to do after discovering continued contact in my first post to you. You need to follow that template. Please note that kicking him out need not mean the end of your marriage: the goal is to get him out and only accept him back if he proves to you that the affair is over.

I am concerned that you do not seem to have spied on him, electronically. It is not enough for you to accept his confession about what has been going on - bad as that is. You need to find the proof for yourself.

Yes.
You should enter in plan B.

Where is he living now?

He moved in with his best friend for a time. As far as I know this woman has no place of her own and is living with her mother so this time he cannot move in with her.

Is it crazy that no part of me wants a divorce. I guess I haven't really given up hope that this affair will end even after so much time has passed with little change. I know my husband and unfortunately he has a addictive personality. But I also know he has the ability to recover.

I can't help but feel as if I am doing something (working towards a divorce) that I truly in my heart do not want. As if I have no other choice but to give up. I asked him to leave for my own sanity and to protect myself. But I don't want this. Will this change in time?

PF, you don't have to make any decisions right now about divorce. Did you read Sugarcanes instructions about plan B? Are you preparing yourself to go into a dark Plan B? Did you read the Plan B link?

I will read the link and instructions on Plan B again. He didn't have a cell phone or computer accounts, he gave those up when he came back, his choice to do so. Part of him wanted to stop this affair. I guess he fell back to the temptation of it. The only thing I could have done to get proof was to strap a recorder to his car but even that he wouldn't use. He would walk to the store or something and usually on his days off of work when no one was around. And would use payphones to contact her.

going to read and reread plan B now.

And you say I have terrible taste in music?

LOL "Seven" rocks

LOL Jedi your absolutely right!

I agree.

Plan B is breathing room, when you are not dealing with craziness.
After 6 months in Plan B you will have much more clarity of purpose.

Thank you all, this has been giving me focus and direction and it helps to vent!

PS

You do not announce Plan B before you launch it.
You prepare quietly.
While preparing, you resist the temptation to lash out at your WH.
You need to avoid any arguments.
It's OK to say "I'm not able to make a decision about that" or "I'm going to need time to think this over" or "Thank you for sharing your opinion. I will consider all my options."

Never reveal your plans.

And for crying out loud ..... STOP talking to opposite sex persons.

You are in no shape what-so-ever to make that sort of choice.

You are vulnerable right now to predatory men who can sense a needy female.

Actually pepperband I stopped all contact with other person when my husband came home. I know it was something I did to meet my own selfish needs and I have no desire to go in that direction again.

Take good care of yourself.

I have to admit he didn't leave on good terms. He is quite upset that I kicked him out (how he said it) although while he was home things were pretty peaceful up until the time I discovered continued contact. Even after I didn't argue, and on the day I asked him to leave I did it as calmly as I could. Although he did put up a fight because he had no place to go.

He simply wanted to live with me while continuing to see her behind my back. SMH!!!

Someone call the Whaaaaaaaambulance!

I have exposed the affair to pretty much everyone. Our friends and family and her friends and family, even my WH boss is aware as he is also a very close family friend. However, in order to not cause too much problems I never exposed the affair to the OW's employers. I don't know why to me this seemed hitting below the belt and at times I wonder if its vengeful and will make me look like a desperate, vengeful woman. However I am aware that her bosses are believers and have a great influence on her. Is there any good reason to expose this to her employers? Has anyone found this has helped? This woman is not married, he lost her children to the custody of her ex and has nothing to lose.

I don't feel I'm an expert, by any means, but I, too, am a BS (married for 34 years!) who has struggled with issues / exposure of OW. She was not working during their affair, but is now. Before she moved out-of-state I wanted to call her place of employment (a gym, she's a trainer) and warn them to watch her around married men! Or tell them how she tried to break up our marriage. Or do SOMETHING to get back at her. I realized that as long as she stays away from MY husband/family I don't want to do anything to keep that relationship alive. I wanted to tell her off or get her in trouble or try to shame her...but all that will do is lower me to her level and give HER the realization/power that she hurt me/us. By ignoring her and completely cutting her from our life I think eventually she will fade into my past. That's my hope, anyway. She'll get her "just rewards" one day when she stands before God.

Prince, it is a good idea to expose to as many people as possible in the OW's life. You never know who will get through to her. That is the compassionate and Christian thing to do. It not only alerts others that she is a dangerous person but also makes it much less attractive for her to have an affair with your husband. It is no fun to have an affair when everyone is watching!

What kind of work does she do? Typically a workplace exposure would be warranted if it was a workplace affair or she had the type of position where her affair would be relevant, ie: a pastor, school teacher, policeman, etc. IF you feel this would be relevant to her position at work, I would most certainly expose at work. Most employers do not want to employ cheaters.

Another effective way to expose her would be to find her facebook page and send private messages to her friends and family. There is a template exposure letter in my signature link.

Dr Harley calls exposure the MOST EFFECTIVE WEAPON against adultery so by all means, exploit any and every opportunity to expose.