Hi SC,

I did not do "nothing" I confronted her and she said he would have no more contact with my daughter.

I have been "snooping" that is how i found the birthday cards in her briefcase last night. The letter that fell out of the car was from the dog dying.

I fully intend to to tell her again that I want no contact between this guy and my daughter and do not even want my daughter brought with my wife while she is working anymore.

No not sure if she is at work or not.

Are you aware of any infidelity on her part in that marriage?
none that i am aware of

Did she get involved with anyone before her divorce was through?
not that i know of

Did she meet you before her divorce was through?
nope it was done and over with before i even met her

Are there any kids from that marriage?

This is "confrontation-lite". You confronted her, made some noise, and she said what she knew you wanted to hear. Then she immediately went underground to hide the affair. And I am sorry, Dad, but I completely believe this affair is physical.

No, you said you only went into her car because you were looking for something for taxes. This is NOT snooping; this is 'stumbling'. You stumbled over a clue. Do you understand what we mean by snooping? Snooping is ACTIVE clue-searching, not incidental. You need to be careful at this point. You could end up with a failed marriage and a young daughter who now has a young step-dad who is being way creepy toward her. I mean, tickling her??? ICK!

Follow the advice of the posters here. You've already let waaaay too much time go by. Although I will tell you this: his interaction with your young daughter creeps me out. Get on this, Dad. Follow what you're being advised EXACTLY.

been reading a few other threads and posts on here and have come to the conclusion that moving out or even the threat of it might not be such a good idea.

She's gone until 2 in the morning? Do you ever see her pay stubs? You've never found it odd that she is keeping these hours? Has she been bringing home lots of overtime pay?

I am willing to bet a large sum of money that she's NOT at work until 2 a.m.

And serve your sweet young daughter up to him??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? What are you not getting, here???

YOU DO NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE. Your daughter DOES NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE. If your WW throws a fit of dramatics and declares that she is going to leave, LET HER LEAVE. WITHOUT CHILDREN.

This is a war for your marriage and your family, Dad. SUIT UP AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.

Yes do not leave the house. If she wants to be with weird POSOM she packs her sh$t and leaves. AND BY ALL MEANS DO NOT LET HER TAKE YOUR DD.

In light of wht I know now I agree, probably not all work related.

I think you may have misunderstood what i was saying. I was saying that upon further reflection I have relized that moving out would be the absolute wrong thing to do at this point for exactly the reasons you stated.

Here is your game plan. Most betrayed husbands haven't the courage to follow it fully,
to their own discomfiture. Those that do have remarkably better results than the rest.

NEVERGUESSED'S BETRAYED HUSBAND SURVIVAL KIT

1- KEEP ALL THESE ARRANGEMENTS SECRET FROM YOUR WAYWARD WIFE!
2 � Put a keylogger on any computer you can access that she might use.
3 � Put a spy program on any cell that she might use. ("Eblaster" can cover #4 as well.)
4 � Put a GPS on her car, reporting to your computer.
5 � Put a VAR in her car, and in any room she might use to take "personal" calls
6 � Get a mini-audio-recorder, and have it in your possession and "on" whenever in her presence.
7 � Put together an e-address list of anyone who might have influence on her � parents, siblings (sisters, especially), coworkers, college friends, clergy, hairdresser, anyone.
8 � Put together a similar list for the POSOM.
WHEN YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE,
9 � Put together the electronic evidence for each AP.
10 - Write a cover note for your wife's contacts, to the tune of: "I must unhappily inform you that my wife, XXXXXX, is carrying on an illicit affair with YYYYYY. I am hoping to recover our marriage, and ask if you have any influence over her, to urge her to abandon her cheating lifestyle and return to me and our family. Her cell number is 111-222-3333"
11 � Write a similar note to POSOM's contacts.
12 � Send out both packages, to all contacts at one time.
13 � Brace yourself.

listened to 2 more overnight tapes and still nothing yet. Hoping that the gs tracker arrives soon as i think that may prove to yield more info ten the tapes seem to b yielding.