I know that you do not want to file for divorce and are going for even 50/50 joint custody for now. You may change your mind down the road. Now is the time to start building your case in the event that things might change (your mind).

If the school had not forced your son to go home, your WW would not have told you what was going on. She only did it because she could not leave work.

Maybe the school needs to keep you better informed. Sometimes people in the same position as you can turn out to be your worst enemy when they impose their own views which may not be the same as yours.

You did good to sign up for coaching.

Have you confronted this POSOM and told him to stay the He** away from your W?

There are many things you can do to get to this POS.

By making his life miserable, at some point he will think this is more trouble than it is worth.

edit; All the plan "A"ing in the world will have ZERO effect until the A is over.

Thanks 20Year. Please keep checking back on me for the Plan A coaching. Yes, I have exposed OM to his family and friends. It was only a 2 week EA before exposure so not sure of current status. However; I know I must assume they are still ON.

I think your next should be to confront the OM.
Let him know you are not stepping aside.
Let him know he is interfering with a family.
Let him know that your children will know EXACTLY who he is.

Most OM don't want the trouble - they are just looking for an easy piece.

The challenge you are going to face is that if the A is still going on, most likely it is free to blossom if it is not stopped and stopped NOW. TODAY.

Paying him a visit with your 2 biggest buddies might help him get the message.

Dude, you have to find out what is up. The further along this A goes, the more damage to repair and the harder it is going to be to get to stop.


I can almost guarantee 100% that is was more than a 2 week EA and has not ended...only grown.

This is your FIRST order of business. Get in there and fight for your family. If it is over..great. I don�t think for a 1 minute it is. It is blazing hot right now.

Get fired up and go get this POS! Make it more trouble than it is worth for BOTH of them.

DO this for your kids. You can show them that it isn't right to roll over for some POS and STEAL your WIFE.. THIER MOM!

Take this idiot OUT. (EDIT: To Visit him. Not meant literally!)
TODAY!!

You have to get fired up over this FG..


I AM fired up thinking about this POS boinking your W and I have never met either of you!


Dude, that is not cool 1 bit. Go lift some weights, do some push ups..get your head level and go visit this POS! Look him STRAIGHT IN THE EYE and tell him he has messed with the wrong family. You are going to make his life miserable until he goes the HE** away.

SHOW him you are serious. My man, you have to do this. I have hear Dr Harley recommend the BS visit the OM in situations like this.

You have be be certain the A stops.

If you are going to let her have her cake and eat it, too, she'll have little motivation to move back home. If you allow her to feel the weight of her own responsibilities, she may start regreting her choices and reminiscing about the good old days at home with you and the boys. Give her a chance to miss you. And when it isn't her custody time, give her a chance to miss the boys.

The sooner you let her experience the negative consequences of her actions, the sooner she'll regret them.

I am not sure about the diarrhea bit, but I agree with JC. Not sure if I am naturally against plan A by virtue of womanhood, but I would not invite her to spend time with you and the boys on weeks off... I think the plan A tactic won't work on your WW, given her current idea of what divorce would look like. She will simply feel that if this is the way things are going to be, this is a great arrangement for her. I think your WW needs to feel the sting of plan B. But that's just me. I'm interested in what Dr. Harley has to say.

BP I am starting to agree with you. She ONLY calls when there is a problem. Meanwhile she has me on a string. I will have an update tomorrow Am after speaking Steve.

FG, you are doing well. I'm very happy to hear you are going to talk w/Steve. Have a pen and paper ready. He gives lots of advice and instruction. He may even find a way to speak directly with your wife -one on one- at a later date and help you with a more specific strategy.

If he has an appointment ahead of you that runs long you just leave a message and he will call back. He will give you his full attention when he does get to you. If you have to get to work immediately after, let your work place know you might run late.

Typically he asks "what's been going on?" I learned to outline "what's been going on" so I am not fumbling or emotive.

I have always felt a sense of value for my money when I talk w/Steve.

Godspeed.

I did get some good news today from Work today. I got full approval to work from home starting 4/01!

So now if the kids are sick on my week I do not need to miss work. Also, I can now walk them to the bus stop and pick them up at the bus stop during my week!

WW needs to utilize before AND aftercare for both boys. During her week they are at school from 7am to 4:45pm. That is a long day for the boys to be stuck at school.

This news can only help my case.

Dude, stay on track.

You are in Plan A, until you're not.

Plan A is defined as being a fount of EN supply, to a person who may very well not be in "reception" mode. That is what you signed up for. And that brings with it (drumroll, please)....

N O....E X P E C T A T I O N S !

So regardless of anyone's misguided advice to the contrary, you are correctly advised to follow the MB Program! Plan A today...Plan B tomorrow, is really just Plan "Doh"!

(Now I wait for the little terrier to nip at my heels again! )

I defer to vets on this board of whom NG is one! And yes, you are in plan A until you are in plan B.

It would be great if you could get WW to speak with Dr. Harley from what I've read around here.

It really is... and that is why I am not a world renowned clinical psychologist who saves marriages lol.

Sticking to Dr. H's advice only from here on. Plan A up to 6 mths for men followed by Plan B.

t/j Question to vets. What signs do you look for to make transition from plan A to plan B?

This makes me

(Now I wait for the little terrier to nip at my heels again!)



Just kidding! I know NG is much too afraid of me to tempt fate.

FlGuy .... when filtering advice from all of us here in MB-land, try to decipher if what you are reading is of the "my opinion" variety, or of the MB-Basic-101 variety.

You're doing great.

This is something that MM wrote on some other BH's thread. It is amazing. So amazing that I copied it onto a separate post so I could always locate it.

Enjoy.

My favorite MMan post .....

Yes I agree. MM was wise for an Army guy! (Little jab since I am Navy). I agree with it 100%.

Don't mean to thread jack but Mr. W do have a link to the 31 reasons to stop your affair? The one on this thread is broken.