I will confess the kiss to WW but not sure when/where.

And now I really have ZERO expectations.

my confidence has never been better!

Without going all philosophical on you ....

I am wondering how a lack of self discipline boosted your self confidence. Can you explain? I was trying to come up with a scenario from my own life where I failed to uphold my values and emerged feeling better about myself. I ask because I think it would help your future plans to be challenged in this way. Not to be mean. To help you ask yourself the right questions.

I'm also wondering how you will behave in 6 months if you and WW start down the recovery road and some hot chica comes on to you.

Pep is right, your compromise should concern you, not empower you with confidence.

Hey Pepp. Not sure how to answer. I don't really feel bad about Sat night. I know I should but I really don't. WW wanted to separate and be single. In my mind I was giving her what she wanted. Hey, check out MY fog babble!

I know it was wrong and I will not make the same mistake twice.

I don't really feel bad about Sat night. I know I should but I really don't.

Who creates your moral standards?
Does your wife create them or yourself or God?
You are responsible for your actions and behavior.

Behave yourself, FG! Your Momma might still be reading!
Or even worse, ML!

I'm just bettin' there are things she did that you don't know about yet that she is certain you'll never forgive for. Might not be full intercourse but somewhere between "making out" and intercourse.


That being said...who was this recent OW you've been texting? Some stranger or do you work with her?

She does not want me posting or working on any plan but Plan D.

Author Michelle Davis, MSW, The Divorce Remedy:

.....

The divorce trap seduces over one million people each year. It promises peace and tranquility. It offers a fresh start, a second chance at romance, contentment, and self-discovery. It lures people into its grip by offering assurances that walking out the door can eliminate life's seemingly insurmountable problems. When you're desperately unhappy, these so-called guarantees are hard to resist. But there are good reasons for doing so. If you or someone you love is contemplating divorce you will want to know what I have learned about the truth about divorce.

In my work, I've had a bird's eye view of what happens in people's lives after divorce. I have seen the intense pain and despair that lingers for years. I have seen times when every birthday, holiday, or other causes for celebration have been nothing more but painful reminders of a divorce. I have seen the triggering of unpredictable, hurtful events such the total rejection by the children of the parent seeking the divorce. I have known children who, even after many years following the divorce and after their parents' subsequent marriages, still want to know if mom and dad will ever get back together.

Now, after three decades of our social experiment with rampant divorce and disposal marriages, I know it isn't a matter of people keeping their marriages together because they can, it's a matter of people making their marriages work because they should. Divorce stinks! Why? Recent findings about the long-term effects of divorce speak for themselves.

* Except in very extreme conflict-ridden families- and most families do not fit this criterion- children are better off when their parents stay married.

* Children are more likely to finish school and avoid problems such as teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, and delinquent behavior. Plus, they are more likely to have good marriages themselves.

* Even if a parent is happier as a result of divorce, there is no "trickle down effect." Children still struggle emotionally regardless of how the parent feels.

* Married men make better fathers. They are more likely to provide guidance, role modeling, and financial support.

* Marriage is good for most adults. As compared to single, widowed or divorced people, married people are healthier, have better sex lives, they engage in fewer high-risk activities such as substance abuse, they live longer and they are happier!

* Depression is almost three times as prevalent in women who divorce once, and four times as prevalent in women who divorce twice than in women who have never divorced.

* A random sample of over 8,600 adults revealed the percentages of those who felt lonely. The results are as follows. Marital status and % reporting loneliness:

Married- 4.6

Never Married- 14.5

Divorced 20.4

Widowed- 20.6

Separated- 29.6

* Those in healthy marriages tend to be better, more productive employees. Married men miss work less often.

* Divorce increases the cost of many public health and social service programs. Single-parent households often mean children are raised in poverty or on public aid.

* A single mother's standard of living almost always decreases significantly after divorce.

* As compared to 50% of first marriages that end in divorce, 60% of second marriages end in divorce.

Many people considering divorce say they wish they could have a crystal ball that would allow them to see into the future. Actually, the crystal ball is here for the taking. Research has enabled us to be "clairvoyant." But many people choose to ignore or discount the facts because they've been hoodwinked into believing that divorce provides answers to an unhappy marriage. But how are myths about divorce being perpetuated?

The divorce trap is a powerful conspiracy that is invisible to the naked eye. Like carbon monoxide, the odorless killer, the divorce trap is an insidious influence, invading your thoughts without your knowing it. What are the forces behind the divorce trap.

Well-meaning friends and family

Oddly enough, some of the people nearest and dearest to you are part of the problem. This is not to say that they don't have your best interest at heart. They do. They love you. They can't stand to see you in pain. More than anyone, they know you and know how much you deserve happiness in your life. Their caring is genuine. Why then, do I say that your loved ones can be misdirecting you?

The Biased Shoulder

When you share your unhappiness with loved ones, what they hear is your side of the story, and your side only. Even though your feelings about your spouse and marriage are valid, they are, nonetheless, biased. Needless to say, if your spouse were in on the conversation, the story about your marriage would take a not-so-slight different turn. But the people who love you don't care about objectivity; they want you to feel better. Although this makes perfect sense, the end result is that the people in whom you are confiding, offer potentially life-changing advice without a complete set of facts. If you follow that advice, you may create an even bigger rift in your marriage.

....

First opportunity get it done. If you wait very long, you will appear to be insincere.


Have no expectations about how your WW will respond. Have serious and abiding expectations concerning how you intend to conduct yourself.
With WW you assume a "wait and see" approach to what she does.
You do not do this with self expectations if you hold yourself to a high standard.

Without going all philosophical on you ....

I am wondering how a lack of self discipline boosted your self confidence. Can you explain? I was trying to come up with a scenario from my own life where I failed to uphold my values and emerged feeling better about myself. I ask because I think it would help your future plans to be challenged in this way. Not to be mean. To help you ask yourself the right questions.

While my wife and I were separated and she was in her insane period I started to notice that women were taking notice of me.

Initially the biggest reason I wanted my marriage to not end was I was afraid I would end up a fat naked old guy laying in a barcolounger and eating hungry man dinners. I had so little self confidence that it showed in everything I did.

After I found out that there was hope for a great future with or without my wife I was able to reenter recovery for the right reasons and knowing I would be okay no matter what happened. My friends and family and co-workers actually told me they aw a big change in me. My wife also mentioned later that this was the point when I started looking attractive to her again.

So not commenting on right or wrong I wanted to say that I understand where Floridaguy is coming from here.

While my wife and I were separated and she was in her insane period I started to notice that women were taking notice of me.

Initially the biggest reason I wanted my marriage to not end was I was afraid I would end up a fat naked old guy laying in a barcolounger and eating hungry man dinners. I had so little self confidence that it showed in everything I did.

After I found out that there was hope for a great future with or without my wife I was able to reenter recovery for the right reasons and knowing I would be okay no matter what happened. My friends and family and co-workers actually told me they aw a big change in me. My wife also mentioned later that this was the point when I started looking attractive to her again.

So not commenting on right or wrong I wanted to say that I understand where Floridaguy is coming from here.