Hi mom - so sorry you are in this situation, but we can help you. You've come to the right place.

Join LinkedIn and send a request to connect with him.

Other thoughts:
Simply google his name and city and see what comes up. His business profile may come up, which will include (hopefully) a phone number.

Go online to their county recorder's or auditor's website and search their names. I don't know what state and county you are in, but many counties have recorded property documents online. You want to look for the recorded deed for their property. When you get to that part of the recorder's website, look for 'conveyance forms'. That's what is filed when the property transfer takes place. There is a possibility that the closing agent wrote down OWH's phone number on the conveyance form. If he/she did, you'll find it there.

You can send a letter 'certified' or 'restricted' mail. This will require OWH to go to the post office to get the letter. However, OW has a head's up that you are on the case and may see the notice in the mail. She will likely discard the notice and you'll be out of luck. The post office will attempt to deliver the letter twice and then will return it to you if he doesn't respond. If you want to try this, you may want to consider enlisting the help of a friend who works in an office or bank and has a work address. Use the friend's address for the return address on the certified mail; OW may be reluctant to throw away certified mail if she thinks it's from a bank or other legitimate company.

You are getting ready to blow the affair sky high, so I wouldn't be so worried about that. How many contacts does the OW have?

Did you send the messages to the OWH relatives on facebook yet?

And where does the OW work?

LinkedIn says I have to have the upgraded paid version in order to send an InMail

No I didn't know that. I will have to come up with a way to discreetly do so. I can't have it hit the bank account without being questioned.

Mom, it won't be that expensive. Much less expensive than a divorce, my friend. Pay for the upgraded version and get in contact with him.

Do it anyway. By the time your WH sees it, you will have delivered the bomb, and he will already know.

she only has maybe a dozen contacts, I haven't sent any messages yet

She works at *edit*

That is ok if he sees it. If he questions it tell him you had to pay a fee to expose the affair to the OW's facebook contacts.

Have you exposed to all your family members as outlined in my exposure thread?

Does the OW's workplace have a webpage? If so, I would go large there too. If there are email addresses of her bosses, send them an email fashioned after the workplace exposure letter.

I have not exposed to ANYONE yet, I want to do it all at the same time, so I'm getting all of my info in one place, and will do it ASAP.

I did find a phone number on their property deed record as someone mentioned above...I hope it's the jackpot

ok, so maybe I was WRONG...she has 65 facebook contacts

Good job! And I like that you are being strategic. Good girl!

Ok so how do I pay for these Facebook messages to expose to OW family and friends?

When you go to their page, click on "message" and then paste in your message. At the bottom it will say "pay $1 to send to inbox" or you can click to send it to other. If you send it to "other" it goes to their spam box and they never see it.

Be sure you have your own facebook page set up with pictures of you and your husband. Have pics of your children too.

Do you have your message ready? How about posting it so we can give you feedback?

When you click on message you will see this:

You aren't connected to XXX on Facebook, so your message would normally get filtered to his Other folder.

You can:

Send this message to his Inbox for $1.00 USD

Just send this message to his Other folder�What is this?

Ok here is the letter:

Dear friend of OW,

It grieves me to write this letter but I believe allof her friends should be aware that she is having an online affair with my husband. We have been married for 18 years and have 4 beautiful giurls. They have been having this affair since the end if January according to the evidence. Which I have plenty if you wish to see just ask.

This is the second time my husband has cheated on me with her. The first was 17 years ago when they both lived in Kentucky while I was pregnant with our first child. Therefore I believe they will continue unless drastic measures are taken to stop all communication.

I ask that you use your influence with her to persuade her to leave my husband alone. And to think about what she Is doing to her own family . You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage. I am committed to keeping our family together and saving our marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her husband and ask him to call me at
***...or email me at xxxxx@gmail.com or forward me his contact info so I can talk to him.
Thank you,

obviously spelling errors will be fixed

and all of my husband's family lives locally so I will confront them in person

This is good, but take out the "online" part. An affair is an affair. if you have the evidence, can you upload it to a website so you can link to it? There is a post from rainysweet in my exposure thread where she did exactly that. The OW tried to deny it and was unable to because all the evidence was on the link.

That is great! And ask each one of them to contact him. And do you plan on telling your children?

When you call this #, use *67 to disguise your own #. Have you called this # yet?