Okay. Thank you. I will try not to argue with him about it anymore. I did already have him read the Buyers, Renters thing and I asked him which one he thinks he is. He said renter and I agreed, but left it at that.

We reviewed the Love Busters and talked about that a little, but prevented it from turning in to an argument. We also reviewed the basic needs. I asked him a lot about I could meet his top two needs. He says I do good at the attractive spouse, domestic support, and sometimes admiration. So we made plans for more recreational companionship time. I know he prefers to go out of the house to do fun stuff. But I asked what, if anything, could we do at home while our daughter is asleep since it's not really feasible to get a babysitter more than once a week.

We agreed that at least once a week we will have my cousin come watch our daughter and help with cleaning the house some (and she agreed) so we could go out and enjoy ourselves. We're working on some things we could possibly do. We are thinking of going to the comedy club this weekend if there are any tickets available.

We discussed politely pointing out if one of us is doing a love buster or making love bank withdraws. And we have to try not to take it personally when the other points this out.

I asked how he felt when I reluctantly agreed to have sex with him and he said he doesn't feel very satisfied and feels bad. I said that's how I feel when he reluctantly agrees to not have OS friends or watch porn. I *think* he finally got it with that.

We also talked about how we feel the need to go out and have other friends because our needs are not being met at home. It's one thing to chat with friends every once in a while. But his desire for a "guys night" is really from me not meeting his needs and he thought so too. He actually brought that up and his fear that I will never meet his needs - I also fear he won't meet mine, but I said I'd try to really hard and that we will have to teach each other to meet each other's needs since it's not an instinct, so we need to make it a habit.

He also mentioned he feels like I lecture him a lot. I think it's because I tend to interrupt and ramble. I don't mean to. It's just basically how I was taught how to talk in my family. It' a bad habit that has been really hard to break. Especially because I don't hear tone well so it's hard for me to tell if someone is finished talking or not. Especially on the phone. So I told him he needs to tell me when he feels like I'm doing that because I really just don't see it. I try to look for it and always doubt myself. It's probably why I don't really enjoy social gatherings because I have a hard time recognizing if people are getting annoying or if I'm talking too much. My husband didn't understand this for a long time until recently when we moved closer to home and he got to see my dad and I talk to each other a lot. We talk just the same. Rambling and interrupting each other constantly. Usually no one else can manage to get in on the conversation. So like I said, this was a habit I learned in childhood and never realized it bothered anyone else until recently because I didn't socialize much. I'm trying. It's just really tough. Especially with the whole pregnancy brain thing

Anyway, it seems like the main arguments on this are about done and we're heading towards a solution for now. I'm sure there will be set backs. Oh we also discussed red flags and have decided to let each other know when we're giving off a red flag. I think now that we have common terminology for a lot of our issues that will help a lot.

I think I've gotten him to where he has hope for me meeting his needs effectively eventually. I'm cautiously hopeful of having my needs met. So it's Plan A for now, with preparations for Plan B if it becomes necessary with the hope that it doesn't.