This "woman" had a baby extracted from her uterus 2 weeks ago because shes a weak, contemptible individual and still needs to be with this guy?, who, i can tell you, is not worth it. Made me disappointed at my wife. To be in the same breath as this woman is upsetting me.

Isolate, dude.

1) Co-worker's piece of tail is not the woman sharing your home.
2) Your FWW never terminated an OC pregnancy.
3) Current WW's actions can legitimately be condemned today; your FWW's are long past.

Mike, my friend, MBers have often chatted about when to award WSs their "F". You might be the outlier for how long it might take to a BS to claim his "F". (Or do you ever plan to wear that title?)

Scummy coworker and his AP aside, is there something going on with you?

Nothing new NG. Thanks for asking.

Trying to live a life of some happiness but too often im in that lull. I labled it resignation.

I cant even imagine how rough life could be without the things i learned here.

You can't save the world, it's true.

I have to be content with OW still being alive, not having lost her job or her kids, and only having the consequence of losing FWH's infatuation with her, which was of extreme value. OW was outraged I exposed to her boss and her children. It still bothers me she really lost nothing, and might be at this very moment subjecting some poor BW to the untold pain that I experienced and still live with the aftershocks of.

If someone came to me and asked me to get involved, I would because it's the right thing to do.

But it opens up a can of worms, and can have reprecussions to you, trying to help people at work who are doing something wrong and may not respond well.

IARTQ and MSS,

I am beginning to sense a clue as to why your mental perspective differs from (for example) SDIT and mine.

Think of a fortified position (a "fort"). We each have an identical structure.

Every day you seem to want to walk the walls, searching for glimpses of the dastardly Warlord Skanky, ignoring all the good works being safely done within the fort's walls. You want to track down Skanky and deal the rascal the thrashing deserved, to the effect that you never come off the damn parapets, always staying on "Full Alert".

SDIT and I, conversely, check the fitness of the bulwarks against intrusion, occasionally read "FortificationBuilders" (or listen to the radio broadcast) on ways to improve their effectiveness, and spend the rest of the time raising the crops, attending to the welfare of the inhabitants, and enjoying their appreciation of our efforts in keeping them safe and inviolate. We know that Skanky can never get in unless someone from inside assists Skanky's entrance.

In short you look OUTWARD at the enemy, and we look INWARD at our family.

Climb down off the parapets; plant a garden.

Was pondering the world recently and realized 5 marriages of close friends, including my own, have had A rear its ugly head into them over the last 10 years..

sucks.

How's the real, actual UA time.


Here, you mention a part-time job. I know that I worked far too much over the past year to have proper UA time, especially w/ NGB and I having opposing schedules.

Now - now I only work 2 days a week (outside of picking up shifts to pad the paycheck here and there).


I know I NEEDED to do this, as I was getting fixated on the past.


Again; how is the UA time?

NG-One of your finest NG-isms.

One of your best "not seeing the forest for the trees" analogies that Ive read. And, I get it. Your point, that is.

UA time is not great. 2nd job is needed as I climb us out of financial malaise.

No one doing a half-a$$ed job at MB is going to be successful and Im probably the poster child for this.

We're doing what we can.

One of the reasons I tried to lay low here on the boards this year is my less than orthodox adherence to MB doctine and thus Im destined to a less than perfect outcome.

Yes - exactly! When you concentrate on planting and then tending to that garden, you don't have a lot of time to dwell on what was. Why live in your head when there's REAL living to do?!

And believe me - I DO understand how hard it can be. I've always been one of those types that remembers every hurt someone has bestowed on me. I still get mad when I remember something a 5th grade classmate did to me, for instance. I'm not one to easily let things go. So - if I can be successful at it I feel others can too.

One of your finest NG-isms. One of your best "not seeing the forest for the trees" analogies that I've read.

Thank you, Mike. I think it works on a certain level, though it did not fetch the coveted PB Award of "Magic"!

Oddly enough, this inward/outward view of perspectives pre-dates our marital crisis, and grew from advice I developed for my Mom after Dad died. I urged her to draw a ring around what/who was important to her, and spend no time worrying about elements outside that select few.

I'm be glad if it helps you.

May have repost this elsewhere as mss' threads dont get frequented by everybody if youre looking for kudos outside of mine.

Where's the greener grass?


Where you water it, of course.

2 effing years.

2 effing years.

Yup, two years of your FWW giving you everything she has to compensate for the years of prior infidelity. Two years of having found and utilized (and, eventually, contributed) support and strength on this site. Two years of having your kids learn what courage and dedication look like, not some IronMan 3 crap, but REAL humans, fighting REAL battles. Two years of having your extended families look to you with respect and appreciation for NOT taking the easy way out.

Yeah, I can support the idea of 2 fantastic years. Glad you reminded us!

Spooky Coincidence Number 2:

Reading Common Sense 101, an analysis of the major teachings of G.K. Chesterton, I came across this from GKC himself:

Pessimism is not in being tired of evil, but in being
tired of good. Despair does not lie in being weary of
suffering, but in being weary of joy. It is when for
some reason or other the good things in society no
longer work that society begins to decline; when the
food does not feed, when the its cures do not cure,
when its blessings refuse to bless...

MSS, the injury to you was huge, cruel and unwarranted. What GKC (in 1925) and NG (in 2013) have to tell you is that the positive things in life are still extant, for your appreciation and absorption, if only you could see those foods, cures, and blessings.

You have NOTHING in your current life that can interfere with those joys, except some guy named "Mike". I sure wish he'd let you get on with living.

Mike can't see the forest for the trees.

He's hoping for vindication that will never come. He stuck waiting for it while people who walked similar paths have advised that it already has.

He's losing valuable, quality living time because he wants to punish someone who is eternally punished by a greater power.

And by doing so, continues to punish the most innocent victim here: him.

It's a masochistic vicious cycle that he periodically speeds up into a fury of wrath and then it can slow down enough get a peek at that forest. Only to turn on the afterburners to create distance which begets anger which begets resentment which begets resignation.

As GKC above would ask mss, how long will he be weary of joy?

I bet he somehow gets joy in his continued 'woe is me' card he's played now for 2 years.

What a flake, that mss.

(It's easier to talk about him when he's not in the room.)

Brilliant, if you ask me!

Sage and timely advice.

I can't seem to wake up from the bad dream (keeping the vigil of alert sleepnessness) I woke up to find as real 26 months ago. Everything is better today than it was then, FWH is more in tune with me than ever.

...Yet I walk the parapet, aware of every possible threat, real or imagined. I am changing my outlook now, searching for disengulfment from an old fog.

Thanks, MSS and NG.

(Edited to get that lightbulb emoticon in my post)

MSS, bang this one off your tormentor, Mike.

Yesterday I took notice of a minor "miracle" while making macaroni salad. (No, the elbows did not form themselves into a portrayal of the Ascension, today's Holy Day designation.) Wow, NG earning big points!

I opened a can of medium, pitted, ripe black olives, cut them and put them in the salad.

So, I don't know what percentage of a tree's production those forty-to-fifty olives represented, but someone dedicated a portion of his tree to that quantity, others picked them, sorted them, pitted them, boiled them, packed them in a can (to say NOTHING of inventing the pitting and packing machinery!), labeled them, shipped them to my local store, and put them on a shelf - where I rewarded the entire process with a pitiful contribution of $2.19.

I defy you to tell me that $2.19 even approaches a fair payment for all the successes of hundreds of people whose efforts made my life just a bit sweeter yesterday.

So the next time Mike starts his whining, tell him to STFU! Annnnnd...there go the points! There are millions of folks working to make YOUR life just a bit sweeter, every day.

Watched about 20 minutes of Silver Linings Playbook, nope couldn't do it. Academy Awards or not the subject matter made it unwatchable.

Watched the islanders and Knicks lose instead. Depressing but not infuriating.