|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I would march over to this POS's house and DEMAND he leave your family alone. Take 2 of your biggest buddies and show him you mean business.
Most likely he will run like a scared, cowardly little B*!ch he is. I second this idea. Leave your sidearms in the car. Taking some big buddies will a) give you witnesses and b) control you if you have an urge to punch out this POS.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
What were your behaviors that caused her to lose her love for you and look elsewhere?
There are always reasons for infidelity but NEVER excuses. He destroyed his marriage by living apart and putting her career over the marriage: WW had time to be alone for about a year and a half while I was in a different state working and raising my daughter because of a career move by my WW.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153 |
What were your behaviors that caused her to lose her love for you and look elsewhere?
There are always reasons for infidelity but NEVER excuses. He destroyed his marriage by living apart and putting her career over the marriage: WW had time to be alone for about a year and a half while I was in a different state working and raising my daughter because of a career move by my WW. This answers a lot. BM- Besides living apart (which is a HUGE ivitation for an A), what else would your W say were other reasons she felt compelled to look elsewhere? Can you identify these and attempt to correct them now? I am sure you see clearly now how bad of an idea this was to live apart. Were you guilty of other LB's? Are you aware of her EN's and were you trying to meet them even afar?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
And there might not have even been anything else because living apart is more than enough to ruin a marriage. They didn't have a marriage, so it was just an affair waiting to happen.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
They known each other from work the medical field in this area is a close knit fraternity and people interact from time to time. Om worked at one time in the building but move on to another building but i understand that he does come by to see her at the job.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
Thanks for the reply I do have the SAA and most of all Dr. Harley's works and there was lies but I can see through them we have been married for 19 years known each other for 22. Have 2 children one still home other out in college. I have should my ground and made demands and all was supposedly being worked out but, she lies and i catch her lying... I've been trying not to double barrel the love busters as I had to catch myself a number of times as my emotions were running high... My thing is i was running on empty as to how much more of this plan A will i allow before i just flip the switch on the both of them...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
We have Identified the EN's on both parts as we did do the surveyors...While we was apart for that time we did travel to see each other every other weekend to be together and I see that was not enough to hold interest. The WW is an only child who craves lots of attention She be the first one to tell you that i had spoiled her and give her all she needed. I felt that throughout the marriage I have gave more than received This being said we concluded that some of my issues that can be worked on and are salvable same on her part. As we was apart there was no mention or behavior of another OM...kind of blind to that i guess...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Ok, are you reading our posts and making plans? Do they work for the same employer? What is their work relationship?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Where are you on this? No could not find one anywhere i looked or no myspace etc... Does he have you blocked? Can you make up a new facebook account to see if he has you blocked? Other ways to find his family would be to look him up on peoplefinder.com, intelius.com, etc. Usually a good private eye can find this kind of information very quickly for around $300. Calling his parents and other family members would cause huge problems for him. What is his occupation?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Where are you on this? Yes everyone I contacted has OM's first and last name. I just had some outpatient work done so i need to recover for about a month. But, I am going all out now with getting OM to back off.... Good man! I would DEMAND that your wife end her affair and not allow her to text, call, communicate with this RAT anywhere in your family home. That is profoundly disrespectful to you and your daughter. I would loudly insist that she "TAKE THIS AFFAIR CONVERSATION OUT OF OUR FAMILY HOME!" I would go read my exposure 101 thread in my signature and plan to expose to the OM's family. A facebook exposure to his family and friends can be very effective. However, you now have to pay $1 to send a PM to anyone who is not in your network, so be prepared to pay the $1. It will be well worth it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Thanks Melodylane for the reply...I have told her BM who is the only one living on that side my whole family BM, Brothers, sister, sister inlaw. Told them the whole stinking truth about what me and my daughter found out. I have text's from Iphone, Pictures of WW's car outside his home with area photos from Iphone with dates and times...My Daughter who's a mid teen cannot stand her. Thanks I did not know that I should be turning the heat up on him as I was trying to keep the love bank full. Good info please keep it coming... Are these family members speaking to her about her affair? Do both our daughters know about the affair and have they both expressed their disappointment?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
I am making things uncomfortable for the WW as she now plans or trying to end this affair. I told her today that this is going to end. She said she needs time I told her she does not have a lot of this. I am going after the OM also, WW BM said she is going to work on her and him. I have moved up the timetable this has been going on for 2 long. I am tired...bmocare4
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
Yes my Daughter has told her how disappointed and mad she is about the whole thing. WW just blamed me for turning her against her and I should have not let her know our business. Which I just looked at her and said nothing other than you did this yourself.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I am making things uncomfortable for the WW as she now plans or trying to end this affair. I told her today that this is going to end. She said she needs time I told her she does not have a lot of this. I am going after the OM also, WW BM said she is going to work on her and him. I have moved up the timetable this has been going on for 2 long. I am tired...bmocare4 Did you read my post about exposing to the OM's family, friends and employer? Did you read our posts about confronting the OM? It is getting frustrating because you are not responding. What is a "BM?" And if this is a mother, does this mean the mother will speak to this POS? I would explain to her that the time is NOW and ask her to end contact NOW by sending him a no contact letter. I would ask her to send this template letter to the OM now [change genders to suit your situation]: OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely, XXXXX
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
What is a "BM?"
I'm guessing "birth mother".
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13 |
Yes BM WW biological mother is also contacting the OM...We are both using the letters. Right now, everything is moving on the direction of ending this affair and then onto the me getting past the hurt and resentments...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Have you read Surviving an Affair?
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
116
guests, and
26
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,619
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
