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I so very much welcome you Mopey. I will call you Mopey .... because I remember how far you have come to become "My Journey". Do I agree with every step you've taken? Do you agree with every step I've taken? Are you perfect? Am I? Is anyone? I WELCOME you Mopey.  Keep posting and keep learning.
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I so very much welcome you Mopey. I will call you Mopey .... because I remember how far you have come to become "My Journey". Do I agree with every step you've taken? Do you agree with every step I've taken? Are you perfect? Am I? Is anyone? I WELCOME you Mopey. Keep posting and keep learning. I also welcome you and your journey.  I learn from others. So thank you for sharing, even when it's difficult. To be perfect? Are any of us?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I also welcome you and your journey. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient
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Awwww, Pep and BH, you guys made me tear up! I so very much welcome you Mopey. Thank you. That means a lot to me. I will call you Mopey .... because I remember how far you have come to become "My Journey" I'm good with that.  And what a journey it's been. Do I agree with every step you've taken? Do you agree with every step I've taken? Are you perfect? Am I? Is anyone? Probably not. Probably not. Definitely not. You're close. Probably not. Thanks again you two.
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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You are doing great! He isn't meeting your EN for financial support is he? Take it one day at a time. Thank you LW. It doesn't hurt to check myself every now and then. My BF doesn't support me financially. However, he does pay for about 85% of our dates. When we filled out the ENQ, under the EN for FS, I put on there that I had a need for him to know that I couldn't afford to pay for dates. In his excitement during us going over the questionnaire, with a smile he blurted out, "That's okay, I make a lot of money!" He has taken me on more dates, and more trips, in the last 1 1/2 years than I've been on in the last 20 years. And the guy is funny, works out, and is handsome! Edited to add that he is also educated, loves poja, understands HNHN & LB, and is completely and totally wonderful to me. Yay me!
Last edited by MyJourney; 05/02/13 05:15 PM.
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient Thank you Pep. Something we can all use.
Last edited by MyJourney; 05/02/13 05:26 PM.
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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Yay me! I pray that we can all say this one day
Me - BH 49 years old
Her - WW 43 years old
Married 20 years
D Day Jan 7, 2013
3 kids - DS19, DS17, DS12
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After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed. Did your X-WH ever sober up? Addicts cannot POJA. That's according to Dr. Harley. Edit to add: Which is why we cannot do much to help the BS struggling to cram MB concepts down a drunks throat. We can tell him/her "It's a waste of time." .... And that's about it.
Last edited by Pepperband; 05/03/13 08:46 AM.
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I pray that we can all say this one day I hope so too Wow777!!
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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Did your X-WH ever sober up?
Addicts cannot POJA. That's according to Dr. Harley.
Edit to add:
Which is why we cannot do much to help the BS struggling to cram MB concepts down a drunks throat. We can tell him/her "It's a waste of time." .... And that's about it. He quit drinking, but he didn't do all the AA steps. He cherry picked those, like he cherry picked the MB plans, and stuff from the Bible. Over the years, I've had people in the AA program, including his last sponsor, tell me he was a dry drunk. His last sponor quit working with him, because he wasn't serious about true recovery. No, I don't suppose addicts can poja, and it was all definitely a waste of time. I'm going away for the weekend, but will catch up Sunday night. Have a good weekend everyone!
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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