She is acting like the wife. And he is acting like I am the POSOW. So if she did post I am sure she will try to make you all understand THEY were meant to be.

The silence is golden I tell you. Perhaps twice a day now he might come to mind. Once to be sad then to get angry he put me in this position at all and then blamed me for it. Its kinda good he's so angry at me. It helps me not miss him. Last conversation we had he tore me a new one (no idea why still) blamed it all on me, said I did this to us not him. And then we went into plan b. So this is what replays... the last conversation.. and I gotta say... it makes me NOT want to have anymore with him.

As for her... they spun it. They were just friends for a year then realized they developed feelings but they were already married oh no and they just fell in love and it's a love story that's meant to be because it started out as friends. Not like mine and his, we had the love at first sight whirlwind and that was fake.

Um... they met as friends and fell in love? awww. The true story is, they met they had an affair and wrecked two marriages and damaged 4 kids for their "love story".

I wish. Best I can do is keep reading the boards and hope I get lucky by seeing her story lol... IF she even posts. I don't know if she knows I am here. Or if those "friends" knew I was there.. perhaps mentioning marriage building and MY WH in the same sentence was supposed to get a reaction. I am the Ice Queen. I show no emotions. Ever. In public.

Let her try. I think there are some EXCELLENT BS sniffers on here that they would catch her BS, especially from an unrepentant OW.

What self-care do you have planned?

I finally have time to heal. I don't start my job until June. I don't have to deal with work or any other drama because I will have my severance to live on this month. This is the first time I can allow myself the time.

I am not as bad off as I was. I think back to the early days and wow did I come far. It stings still but it's not a gaping wound anymore.

I am just tired of this whole situation. I had so hoped we'd be working on OUR recovery by now but I no longer think that will happen. MY recovery is coming along ok though.

That's because you're protecting yourself from crazyville.

Now you're the queen of your domain.

Had a rough day yesterday. I miss him so much. How long does this take before you don't even think of them anymore? I am so heartbroken and still love him so much. I just don't know how to move on.

Pack up all pictures of you and him. Put them away, in other words get rid of all your triggers. Pick up a new hobby, I don't know about you but I enjoy running. Do you have children? Get them involved in sports or something of that nature. Also, I read on here a rubberband technique. Put a rubberband on your wrist and every time you think of him pull the rubberband and snap your wrist.

triggers have been put away for months now.

it's life in general... you know how sometimes you'll be just grocery shopping or whatever and BAM there are his favorite cookies on sale lol... that is how I get triggered now. Nothing I can prevent. I just want it to be done already. I've been so heartbroken for so long now.

The rubber band idea sounds like a good idea..

You might also try a jar where you put in a dollar every time you think of him.

Ok.. so I've been dark.. he contacted me. He went to a lawyer. It's only fair. She doesn't want him around her children until he is divorced. He's saying he's moved on and I should too. I am devastated. I think some part of me still hoped he would wake up. She is saying her children know he's married because I tell people. I don't know what he's talking about so she's still lying to him. I am hysterical. I don't want this. I will do it of course since I have no choice but he even said we never know we could get back some day and remarry - uh, no. he does this and it's a wrap. so I know he has his head up his behind still... This just hurts so much.

Stop,

If you are in Plan B, how was WH able to contact you?

Please ask the mods to merge this thread with your previous thread. It makes it easier to follow along.

As I said on your other thread, let him file and then drag the divorce out as long as possible on your side. IF OW doesn't want WH around her children while WH is still married, then the goal should be for WH to be married as long as possible.

I am sorry you are feeling so badly. You WILL feel better if you close up all the holes in your Plan B.

AM

He stopped by while I was outside, he kept trying to get a message to me that he needed to talk but I ignored them. He said he went to a lawyer, that he is doing this so I can move on, he has already moved on. He said she doesn't want him around the kids because he's married, I said they know you are the reason they got divorced and that is why they don't want to be around him (he changed it to "they" don't want to be around him)... my head was spinning... I kept thinking omg no no no... and he was saying that he's moved on I should to, I said I don't want this he said he knows that but we can always remarry someday. I suggested legal separation and then he can just "tell her" we got divorced, he said he will look into it (lol, he's going to lie to her? haha) and then he said he will call me in a few days with details. I said not to. That I am not going to change my mind.

They are closed again. I blocked him. But this is devastating. I have cried for 5 hours. Now I am about to take a hot bath and hope I sleep.

I mentioned how I won't sign and he said he told his lawyer that. He said the lawyer said it's a simple case and if I don't sign they will try to contact me 2 more times and then they will grant the divorce as contested.

Thread merged with earlier thread.

Stop,

See what happens when you talk to him. You end up crying for five hours.

IF your WH actually files (waywards are notoriously lazy), get a lawyer and tell him/her that you want to drag out the divorce.

AM

Stop, I'm sorry, but it sounded like your thread was becoming a blogging journal, so I stopped reading it, assuming you didn't want help. I may have missed a few posts, so please bear with me:

Did you tell OW that your WH is keeping you as a back-up plan? That he's not firmly committed to her?

I just texted him to tell me his lawyers name because I am hiring one as well and they will need to communicate.

no I didn't maritalbliss

I don't communicate at all with her.

Unfortunately, you continually communicate with HIM, which is why you are so devastated. If you would go into Plan B and stay dark, you would feel 1000% times better. I promise!

I agree Melody. I blocked him on all my phones now.

I don't want a divorce. I really did not expect him to go that far. I thought he'd let this play out then realize... but maybe I am the one who wasn't seeing clearly that he'd done. He gave so many mixed messages, was always so confused. I thought that was good and that silence would help. Silence seemed to make him think shes right now.