OJ, another thing this will highlight is the fact that the OM can't support her. I bet he has next to nothing financially and can barely afford to get himself an apartment AND pay for his wife's home. This will make her realize that you can provide a home for her and he can't. You have TWO homes and he has NONE. He lives with hims momma and daddy.

I actually went to the new house to check to see if anyone was trying to get in. No one there.. In all likelyhood she went and spent the night at her best friends house (remember that guy that confessed his love to her?) and actually it's not his house, it's his GF's house.

Are me and my Dad right in assuming that I just made my WS a huge burden for OM?

Are you paying for her cell phone? If so then cancel it. If its on your account cancel it.

Yes you are.

Oh yes! You just inserted reality into the affair. An affair can't withstand the pressure of reality for long.

Been chatting with her best friend a bit this morning. He is so confused as to why I'm doing the things I'm doing. He says he just thinks I'm pushing her farther and farther away, and that in fact she told him that I'm just pushing her farther and farther away. That she thinks I'm just trying to alienate her from all her friends and family and make her a sad lonely person. He said he won't even tell me some of the other things she has said, which I'm sure are things like "I am NEVER going back" blabla.

Is it normal for the WS to think this?

He is convinced that before she left me that the OM was nothing but a flirtatious co-worker, and he had absolutely nothing to do with her leaving me.

I told him that her relationship was more serious and had been going on longer than he knows. He then said, "If that's true, then that means she's been straight up lying to me". And I said, "You're beginning to understand."

I hope this wasn't a mistake on my part.

All right, enough self-congratulation and back-patting!

What's on tap for today, OJ?

1) You should "update" the folks on your exposure list to inform them of last night's developments, asking for their aid in refraining from offering WW assistance, and interceding if feasible in her self-destructive path.

2) If, as you suspect, WW is with this pathetic suitor-in-waiting, you have a whole separate exposure string to begin, of his friends and family, including his gf's contacts.

3) Now would be a good time to commence a documented history of everything that is happening. Dates, times, who said what, etc. If this does go to divorce, you want a cogent story that clearly displays her culpability in the progression.

It's been a helluva four days, has it not? The roller coaster you have been compelled to ride is not finished. Until it comes to a complete stop, keep your lap-belt fastened, and your arms and legs inside the car.

the suitor-in-waiting's friends are already on the exposure list.

So should the exposure letter look like this?

Dear friends / family -

I love WS with all my heart, and I am continuing to do everything I can to save my marriage. Last night I moved back into the house where WS was staying so that she could no longer use it as a place to continue her affair with OM. I asked her to stay and live in the house with me, but unfortunately she decided to leave that very night. I am saddened by her decision. If you have any influence on my wife, please urge her to end this affair that is hurting so many people. Urge her to come home so our marriage can recover.

I'd appreciate your support and prayers

-BS

She also told him that she thought the way I was acting last night was "creepy", since I was being so nice and calm, and just playing guitar and stuff. Hope that's not bad.

"creepy" is wayward-speak for "unclear to me". Good enough - stay "creepy".

As for your status letter, if you think all the addressees have her cell number, you need not include it. If not, do so.

Hmm.. I'm worried if I do that that she will change her cell phone number. Then I will have no way to contact her at all.

Lol, and her suitor-in-waiting told me that OM's reason for leaving his wife for my WS is that "He hasn't been happy for a long time in his marriage".. ROFL......

Which reminds me, do you wife's family/friends know that the BW of POSOM is fighting CANCER?

They SHOULD!!!

Yes, they all know. It was in my original exposure letter.

Is the wording of my update letter sufficient?

...she will change her cell phone number.

More confusion, more complication, more goodness for you......

(And how long do you think it will be before you discover the new number?)

Hmm... There are really only TWO people she would give it to that I can talk to, and I don't think either of them would give it up to me if she asked them not to.

That figure of "two" i just making me realize how much she is alienating herself from everyone.

OJ you are doing good keep it up as for that [censored] she calls a friend, he is obviously an enabler and probably wants her as well. Cancel that cell phone you are facilitating the affair. If she gets a new number, so what? I put money she will ca you and you will have it. WWs aren't very smart when they are foggy. As far as being creepy she was fishing for an argument keep cool as a cucumber, sir. She expects your reaction to be violent and angry so she can JUSTIFY her transgressions. She will say anything to press your buttons just remember being angry is a choice, not a good choice but a choice nonetheless.