VERY important !!!

Just tell her you won't sign anything and won't cooperate. Tell her if she files for divorce that you have been advised to countersue on grounds of adultery. Another key thing is to let her know that you won't be her "friend." You will be amazed at how this bothers her because she has fantasized that she can replace you as a husband and you will still be her friend.

Well in her "I'm leaving" letter you noticed she said she hoped we could remain friends. But right now I don't think she ever wants to see or hear from me again, haha. Hopefully that will change in a week or two.

MW, I loved your post so much I printed it out and hung it in my office. I think it will serve as a good motivator, and boost for when I'm feeling down.

She will want to keep you as a "friend" when it all dies down so she won't feel so guilty. You have to tell her that if you end up divorced, you can't be her friend. First reason being that you don't want a cheater and a liar for a "friend" but also because it would harm your future relationships with other women.

Wayward wives have second thoughts when their betrayed husbands tell them they won't be in any contact with them if this ends in divorce.

That makes sense. Good ammo for when she brings me the papers.

Should I tell any of my friends who are currently "hanging out" with my wife and her OM that we cannot be friends anymore? I have a suspicion that two of my friends who supported me at first, may have spent time with them at a get together.

I would tell them to go to hell. Sheesh, they are not your friends!!

What the hell kind of crowd do you run with?

"two of my friends" and "spent time (with WW and OM)" are oxymoronic concepts.

Will do, if it turns out I'm right.

A dysfunctional crowd, apparently.

OJ,

tells me that she actually may be a little bit scared of me right now in a way. Desperate to get rid of me, for me to stop all this, to just let her go.

She may sense just how fragile her affair is, and not only do all affairs start off dishonestly, but now she can't even hide that fact. There is a really good chance you have dealt a mortal blow to this affair, and it will slowly die from it's wounds.

Her decent friends might no long speak with WW, and the friends who approve are likely to cheat with OM on WW. The path back to an honest life for WW goes through you.

Even if WW gets divorced, then dumped by OM and tries another relationship with another OM it is also likely to start with dishonesty as I doubt she will tell how her marriage ended.

God Bless
Gamma

It's a slippery slope for her, that's for sure. I wish I would have surrounded her with better influences all these years.. I'm really finding out the true character of some of my "friends" through all this.

Dude...it is a cold reality to face. Been there done that.


Many of my friends and even family are still on the post-A battlefield�.never to come back.

Matter of fact my SIL is out of our lives. People show their true colors under adversity.

Support me and the W..great you are in the inner circle�don�t? Too bad you are out!!

Matter of fact my SIL is out of our lives.

As is my middle child out of mine......

I just did something that I should have asked you guys about first.. So it's too late to go back, but tell me what you think. I told this to my WS' best friend "suitor in waiting" that I talked about awhile ago -

I have made a decision, xxxx. And I am sorry it comes down to an ultimatum, but I am left no choice. If you continue to hang out with WS and OM while they are together, you are simply supporting and enabling her affair with him, and by doing so become a detriment to my marriage, which is the most important thing in my life. I cannot have anyone call themselves my friend if they continue to work against me by supporting this ongoing affair. I hope you make the right choice. If you were truly WS' friend, you would not support her making such a rash, wrong decision that has hurt myself and so many other people by hanging out with her when she is with OM. I know you feel like you are squeezed into a tough spot, but that is the reality. Look at it this way - telling WS you refuse to hang out when OM is around will not end your friendship with her, but NOT doing that will most definitely end yours with mine.

Please note that this guy has been telling me he doesn't want to lose my friendship over this for awhile. He desperately doesn't want to lose me as a friend. Even still, I'm still pretty sure, knowing the kind of guy he is, that he won't stop hanging out with them. Especially since the scumbag has eyes for my wife. I still felt it was a text worth sending though. I'm letting him know that I am standing for my principles, and if he doesn't support me, then goodbye. That way the issue is resolved, and he can stop sending me messages and texts letting me know he wants to save our friendship. I've given him a path to "save" it, if that's even possible after what he's done.

Hey..I respect you for saying that. If he doesn't, then oh well.

Personally, I agree with your position.


You made it about you and him which was excellent. Good for you.


Again though, giving this situation some time too cool off may work to your advantage. Poking the fire might not be the wisest move to make.

Ya, that's what I thought.. I probably should have waited. I should have asked here first. Oh well. Hopefully it won't be too detrimental, if at all.

You sir are very wise!

So apparently WS came by the old house today while I was at work to get some more of her things. My cousin was here and they talked a bit. She told him how her brother was pissed at me for the facebook mass exposure, and how upset she was about it. And apparently my cousin told her "WS, you need to be grateful that is the worst thing that's happened. If you would have been my wife, OM would be in a wheel chair by now."