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Well today was one of the most difficult days of my life. I bagged up all of his belonging & gave them to him along with my plan b letter. Why does this hurt so much?? I really hope that the no contact helps to ease my pain.  Remember, your wayward is making a choice! He has the option to return to the marriage under better terms. You have no control over his choices. You do have control over your own choices, your own attitude, and your own mood. Self care in Plan B is second from the top of your "to-do" list. Keeping all wayward-isms out of your life IS the top of your list. Sorry for your pain.
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Changing my phone number isn't an easy one...long story. However, I haven't been answering ANY calls from numbers I don't recognize so I was hoping that would be sufficient. I suppose you're trying to prevent me from hearing a voice message from him. Is that correct? If so, I guess I can delete any message he leaves as soon as I hear his voice so I don't have to listen to what he has to say. Does that work?
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Well today was one of the most difficult days of my life. I bagged up all of his belonging & gave them to him along with my plan b letter. Why does this hurt so much?? I really hope that the no contact helps to ease my pain. Remember, your wayward is making a choice! He has the option to return to the marriage under better terms. You have no control over his choices. You do have control over your own choices, your own attitude, and your own mood. Self care in Plan B is second from the top of your "to-do" list. Keeping all wayward-isms out of your life IS the top of your list. Sorry for your pain. Thanks for your help, Pepperband! I need to remind myself daily that HE is making this choice and that I have no control of him or his choices. After having gone a few months without contact, I now know firsthand why plan b is essential.
Last edited by CluelessNY; 05/10/13 12:17 PM.
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One risk is, WH texts/emails/messages something highly irritating, and you reflexively reply in order to relieve your anger.
If he breaks thru the wall of Plan B in any way ..... silence!!!!~ If you respond, you've taught him how to reach your buttons.
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Changing my phone number isn't an easy one...long story. However, I haven't been answering ANY calls from numbers I don't recognize so I was hoping that would be sufficient. I suppose you're trying to prevent me from hearing a voice message from him. Is that correct? If so, I guess I can delete any message he leaves as soon as I hear his voice so I don't have to listen to what he has to say. Does that work? Yes hearing his voice will do a lot of damage to your healing. You really can't change your number? Everytime we see a BS who is in Plan B leave any kind of crack open in their Plan B their WS finds some way to get through and hurt them. Please do EVERYTHING to plug those holes. Also, What self-care do you have planned for yourself?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Silence it is. Thank you!!
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Please do EVERYTHING to plug those holes.
Also, What self-care do you have planned for yourself? Excellent points regarding plugging the holes...thank you! I will definitely do everything I can. As for self care, I have been keeping busy spending time with friends and family. This was working for me prior to my meeting with WH so I'm hoping it will work again. Do you have other suggestions?
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Changing my phone number isn't an easy one...long story. It needs to be done regardless of the amount of effort involved. If you start now, how long will it take?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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As for self care, I have been keeping busy spending time with friends and family. This was working for me prior to my meeting with WH so I'm hoping it will work again. Do you have other suggestions? Exercise. Go to the library. Study something new, like a language. Garden. Photography. Take a class.
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I have been exercising and it helps a lot. Thanks for the other suggestions. I will give them a try too.
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I wish my issue was due to effort, but it's a lot more complex. Basically it will be nearly impossible for me to stay under the radar.
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I wish my issue was due to effort, but it's a lot more complex. Basically it will be nearly impossible for me to stay under the radar. Work with your IM to make the tightest Plan B possible.
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I will! Thank you for all the advice. 
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As for self care, I have been keeping busy spending time with friends and family. This was working for me prior to my meeting with WH so I'm hoping it will work again. Do you have other suggestions? Exercise. Go to the library. Study something new, like a language. Garden. Photography. Take a class. Pep beat me to it. Exercise was the #1 thing I would mention also. Also manicure/pedicure. New haircut
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I will! Thank you for all the advice. And, for heaven's sake, if WH does not try to break into your Plan B fortress, do not feel disappointed. Do not ask "Why hasn't WH tried to reach me?" Instead of worrying about WH's activities in Plan B, you establish yourself as a calm, confident, in control of herself woman-to-be-rekoned-with. If you do this, you will be much better prepared for recovery IF that happens. You are also better prepared if recovery does not happen. Get it? Got it? GOOD !
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I had a pedicure a few weeks ago, but I think I'm due for another! 
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I had a pedicure a few weeks ago, but I think I'm due for another! Or what about a facial or massage? Heavenly!!
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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My adult daughter is an esthetician. FREEBIES !!!!
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My adult daughter is an esthetician. FREEBIES !!!! I'm jealous. You're lucky!!!
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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