NG, did you read all of that post? Specifically, this part:
If I understand hfm correctly, she has given him everything she's got. I think she's saying that Dad can continue his search, checking hotels, etc, to get more info.

And I absolutely agree that the clock resets every time another piece of information about the affair comes out. That's exactly why Dad should never have suggested that hfm volunteer any bit of information that she might happen to remember! Way to stay in the affair-moment, Dad!

To hfm and Dad: you've covered the affair in all its disgusting detail. You are waaay past the time where it should no longer have any place in your conversations. Dad, I believe I've already told you this: there is NOTHING that hfm will tell you that will change anything at this point. So WHAT if suddenly remembers that it was a Tuesday and not a Wednesday?? So WHAT if OM had on black socks, not blue?? These details you want her to remember will not serve you!

Do you think I want Mr. Bliss to tell me that the first time they made eye contact was a Tuesday and not a Wednesday, as he originally said? Hell, no!! What good would that do me? The mere instance of bringing up the affair would throw me back! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!! It does NOT deserve that space in my marriage!

It doesn't deserve space in your marriage, either! Sheesh, Dad - this is a simple concept!

Sorry, hfm, I'm speaking to Dad on your thread, but I know you're both reading and it's something you both need to read, understand and implement.

How are things going, helpformom? Please keep us posted. Is helpfordad starting to track down the information he needs? Is he continuing to have angry outbursts? Are you guys going to do Dr. Harley's online program?

mom? We're worried about you guys!

helpformom, I hope there is a chance you will see this.

I saw on your husband's thread your words to him:

I read you loud and clear that helpfordad is not providing you the care that you need.

I want to assure you that Marriage Builders is MUCH more about getting you this care than it is about affair recovery. I am very sorry that helpfordad has been going about this the wrong way and that very uneducated posters like NeverGuessed who do not understand Marriage Builders at all may have given you that impression and turned you off of the program.

Dr. Harley's position is that a woman in your situation who is not getting the care she needs from her husband should prepare for a separation from him. I would encourage you to try the Marriage Builders coaching to give helpfordad one last chance to fulfill your needs, and if he is unwilling to do that, I would strongly encourage you to separate from him.

Here is where Dr. Harley has written about separation for a refusal to meet emotional needs:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_quit.html

I assure you that Dr. Harley applies this exact same advice to formerly wayward wives: if their husband does not want to meet their needs, he encourages them to separate. I have heard him mention this numerous times on the radio.

Many of us have been working hard on this forum to try to persuade helpfordad to recognize the importance of focusing on meeting your emotional needs instead of focusing on your mistakes of the past. If you guys were to get into the Marriage Builders coaching, Dr. Harley and his staff would also work with him about this.

I encourage you to try this as one last chance for helpfordad and to separate from him if he is not willing to follow the Marriage Builders advice.