Yes...if you want the document you'll need to email me. It's not that big a deal so it's no worries if you are uncomfortable doing so.


Thought of a little easier thing you may be able to do to harass the affair more immediately. Ask your lawyer about filing a restraining order against OM. See an AOA lawsuit just involves filing a complaint and then OM files an answer and it takes a year or more for discovery and then a trial to take place. If a restraining order can be sought, usually a court date can be obtained much quicker. You'll bring it in your name but asking the court to restrain him from contact with you and/or your family. Since adultery is illegal in Utah and AOA is actionable...seems that alone (together with any and all harassing emails) would be enough to get a nice conservative Utah judge to grant you an order forbidding OM from harassing and attempting "alienating" you [and your wife].

Might be a more efficient and effective way to attack the affair.


In pursuit of such, I'd also have you engage OM in some more strategic text/email wars. Say something like:

"I've been thinking more about your email the other day and how disrespectful it was for you to speak to me on behalf of my wife. You don't speak for her. Between the two of us...I am her husband and you are merely a paramour. "I" would be the one to speak for her.

As such, please be advised that you are doing her great harm. Your continued adultery is ruining her life. Despite what she's told you, up until 2 or 3 months ago we were a happy young couple attempting to get pregnant with our first child. Sure we had some struggles as most young couples do but we were absolutely in a sound, loving and normal marriage. I wish it were better than it was but it wasn't anywhere close to as bad as she's made it out to be.

Absolutely nothing good will ever result of your relationship which is based upon the deceit and hurt of others. It is soul sick and I formally request that you stop hurting me and my wife. Divorcing your cancerous wife is a huge mistake but if that's what you choose to do surely from there you can go out and find your own woman instead of trying to illegally steal one from someone else. {_wife's name__} is mine. She was given to me by her parents and God on {_wedding date__}. It is my duty to protect her. I know you hoped this would be easy but I refuse to stand idly by while you destroy her life. If you truly care about her you will realize deep down that I am twice the man you are and so much better for {wife's name} than some $___/hour loser that lies and cheats on his sick and loving wife. Go away so that we may commence work on rebuilding what you have torn asunder.


p.s. - I know this is stupid trying to educate a cheater but someone needs to educate you...straying wives always tell their paramours that they would NEVER consider getting back together with their husbands. She just doesn't want you to feel guilty. She wants you focused on her not any negative feelings about what your are doing to me and your wife. However, after an affair ends nearly every time they do attempt reconciliation with the husband of their youth. In fact, a significant majority of couples reconcile after an affair whereas the numbers are against you. 80% of affairs end in two years and only 5% make it to marriage and only 2% of those make it 5 years. Thus, I am much more likely than you to be with her two years from now. Realize also, that the primary reason most marriage don't recover is actually because the betrayed husband doesn't want to reconcile. The world is full of divorced straying wives that completely regret losing their perfectly good [but not perfect] husbands for some loser they mistakenly thought was their soul-mate. Please reconsider what you are doing to her and end the affair. The sooner the better...for her"



Hopefully OM will engage you and get angry. Ask him to meet you (and a buddy of yours) in the parking lot behind the local Kroger or local bar to talk (implying you want to beat him up or something but never saying that at all). Maybe throw in a "are you scared of me...lol" (realizing all OM are fearful of the BH's by nature...they know they deserve a butt whipping). You want to provoke him and get HIM to make actually make some idle threats because such would be good evidence for your restraining order petition. It's usually easy to do...because OM's always have to put up a brave front for their affair partner...so they will often TRY to talk tough (they just lack the commitment to follow through with anything). The more you can get him upset and documenting it while staying calm...the better. Remember too...your text messages and emails will be seen by the same judge so be smart about it. Maybe try to get him to call you (and have an app on your phone recording the phone call). OM is less likely to be strategic when talking.


Tell your attorney the most important thing is to get him to show up in court to contest the restraining order...with your wife...and for the attorney to get them on the stand and grill him (much more so than your wife). I don't know if you'll get it granted but the Judge is the law and (s)he can order whatever (s)he decides. Winning the order isn't necessary.


It's just my feeling that getting OM to end it with your wife is your best angle to bust up this affair. The more you hassle him the better. He needs to feel like you are relentless and he'll never get any peace with you around. Remember, you can't recover anything until it is busted up.


Mr. W


p.s. - this is to be a short expedition for two reasons:

1. When you fight dirty with a low-life, you need to realize that sometimes the low-life can beat you because they have much more experience being dirty rotten scoundrels. Be careful.

2. When you roll in the mud with a pig, you get dirty and the pig likes it. There's an element of this fight that OM and your wife enjoy. Your "crazy" battle feeds their rationalizations and justification as well as their entitlement. Part of her/them gets off on this. When you go to Plan B...they will miss you and this energy you may be providing their relationship.