Taking Prisca's advice.

Are you taking antidepressants? You might want to see your doctor about getting some, to smooth out your emotions during all this. Dr. Harley recommends that. Markos swears by them.

Nah, because I am not depressed anymore. I only feel emotional highs at this point when my wife texts me stuff like "You don't love me, you just want to possess me." Like I said a bunch of pages back, I have fallen out of romantic love with me wife.

btw, I think her bubble just popped



See you later, bubble

Antidepressants will dull those emotional highs.

She just texted me back:

"I don't want to meet you for coffee. I will have a constable serve you next week, it's up to you how you want to handle it from there."

Should I respond with anything? Or just silence? I feel like I should just repeat the last text message - that I will be there if she wants to talk.

I wouldn't respond any further tonight.
I would make sure to be at the coffee shop tomorrow, dressed nice, just in case she does show up.

She is trying to manipulate you with her phrase " We are not getting divorced because of adultery." She is trying to convince you of this, and you know that is not the case.

I don't see your meeting with her having a positive outcome. And I am concerned about you meeting with her at all right now.

Well, she is most definitely not going to be meeting me, haha. I will go to the coffee shop regardless.

I wouldn't push it. You don't want it to sound like you are blackmailing her into seeing you.

My vote is to say nothing and see what she says next. I think she is getting frantic because you have ruined her easy divorce fantasy.

From everything you are saying about your emotions, I would definitely see about those antidepressants. They will even out the highs and lows. You need to be able to keep your wits about you for this long struggle; a good antidepressant medication will prevent your emotions from dictating your reactions.

Slow down from here out and make sure to vet respond/don't respond, and how to respond.

You've got backup!

Don't respond. Protect yourself from her hurtful comments by not engaging her. Otherwise it will become a fight and a debate. And that will give her false justification and push her even farther away.

Deep down she knows darn well this adultery. She's in classic foggy denial.

Remember that you are the scapegoat. She lives in a world of fiction and you are the villain. If you don't play her game she won't be able to play either.

Can you dig deep and resolve to lay low and look for opportunities to make LB deposits while she is still rejecting you and being with him? Because that is what you're confronted with. And its going to be a long fight.

I have been trying to make love bank deposits all week. But out conversation tonight obviously eradicated any progress I made. I am so frustrated with my wife right now. Whatever, I am currently having a party at my house and am having a ton of fun, and getting a bit drunk. Screw my wife right now.

Getting drunk wont help anything.
Use your rational mind and not alcohol

Meh, I haven't had that much to drink. I am done drinking for the night. I am just trying to have fun with some friends tonight.

Just don't drunk-dial her and be either a raging lunatic, nor a blubbering sissy.

Haha. I never drink enough to get to a point where I would do something like that.

Don't sweat this. You DID make love deposits. If and when the fog clears she remember only that you didn't give up on her despite her trying to convince and manipulate you into giving up. Your words weren't disrespectful in the least and you are proving you cherish her.


Did you notice I even predicted the "I am not your possession" comment. They all say that. It's textbook fogbabble.

A couple good responses:

1. You are not my possession. You are my wife. I am your husband...to whom you freely of your own volition committed your life to. Did someone force you to marry me?

2. What are you to OM...a hole (hah!, I said OM and "a hole" in the same sentence)...you were and will always be so much more than that to me.

3. "you are no more my possession than my right arm...you are a part of me...not a piece of property. I do love you. So much so that I'm still willing to reconcile despite what you and [OM] have done to me. I am fighting for you because I took a vow to love, honor and protect you in good times and bad. These are awful times and you've tested my commitment to you to the extreme...but I still believe that "WE" are worth fighting for and you certainly need protecting right now. You are making the biggest mistake of your life and if you follow through with this...you are going to regret it. I just hope when the fog clears from your eyes and you realize what you've given up versus what you got in exchange that I haven't moved on. [wife's first name], if you do this, we won't see or speak again. Besides it being incredible unhealthy, hurtful and unnecessary for me to maintain a relationship with my abuser, an adulterous life is a miserable life and I couldn't bear to watch your slow and inevitable destruction. Sounds dramatic, I know, but that doesn't make it less true.