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Thanks Mel. Thanks Prisca.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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My wife cracks me up. I sent her a heartfelt email and asked if she'd be open to emailing the Harleys. She thanked me. Said it meant a lot that I understand or at least am making the effort to. This is the part that makes me smile. Making a decision isn't her strong suit. She's careful with her choices. I tease her about it and we have a laugh. Her response was As far as the MB show...I guess I would be o.k. with it however, I am fairly sure that they will just say what the doctor said and that is to see a therapist. Which I have done and am trying to do the things that they had suggested. I responded: I know you are doing the best you can in the moment. All of our troubles and struggles aren't yours to own. I like that we are discussing these things openly and are both aware. I feel more like a team than I ever have and that gives me confidence and hope.
In your response you said you guess it would be OK , however ....
I hate to be a nag but does that mean you don't want to decide?
I am open to:
- Doing it together and sending it in. My theory is it can't hurt. Dr. Harley is so level headed and so down to earth with common sense advice. Him and Joyce are so enjoyable to listen to.
- I can do the email alone if you'd rather not participate.
- We can forget the whole idea.
I don't want to do something you aren't enthusiastic in doing. Until you feel up to answering I'll assume we do nothing regarding the show.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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oh boy, can I relate.. I am always afraid that I will make the wrong choice or that it won't be the choice that my husband wants. Or that he won't admit he wants to really do it but I'll make him unhappy if I don't but he wants to make me happy... And what if I make a choice and it is the wrong one? What if ..what if...what if... All of these things make it really hard to discuss things with my husband as I am always wondering what he is thinking and how he will react and I don't want him to be disappointed in me, etc.. So I COMPLETELY understand. This is the part that makes me smile. Making a decision isn't her strong suit. She's careful with her choices. I tease her about it and we have a laugh. [/quote]
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I could be wrong, but I doubt Dr. Harley is going to just tell her to see a therapist. I am betting he is going to give you some very practical advice. I think your response to her was good. But I hope you do write in, because I want to know what he says 
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But I hope you do write in, because I want to know what he says hehe!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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But I hope you do write in, because I want to know what he says Me too! I have some pretty serious anxiety issues and I've learned to deal with it somewhat effectively, but I'd love to be better at dealing with it. I get panic attacks over stupid stuff like bridges (Ohio is the land of long bridges that are really high up. I almost abandoned my truck in rush hour this week on one), storms, car accidents, stuff I can't prevent.
Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
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Well good news then. She's agreed to sending in an email.
She won't have time to put one together so I've done a draft letter and sent it to her for her to edit.
I've also asked if she'd like to be a caller. She is normally uncomfortable with things like that so I'm expecting a no but ya never know.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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Oh good, let us know how it goes.
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I ran across this radio show today. The initial question was about angry outbursts, but Dr. Harley goes on to talk about panic attacks and anxiety. I found it useful for myself, and that ya'll might benefit as well. Radio show from 04/11/2013, segment D
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Thank you very much Prisca.
I haven't sent a letter in to the show yet. I've sent my draft to my wife and I've asked her twice since if she was still wanting to send it into the show to which I have gotten no response.
Our trip is approaching and she is really struggling. The weather has just been horrid these last couple of weeks. Her and I discussed the trip and what our plan is in the event we encounter turbulence.
I think she is so distraught she doesn't hear what I'm saying. Last night I reiterated that I'd do whatever she needed on this trip, before and during, to feel safe. For some reason last night she truly heard what I said as she began to cry, hugged me and thanked me.
I am so hoping for sunny skies next Thursday.
I will listen to this segment and hopefully have some time to help her listen to it soon.
Last edited by MrAlias; 06/05/13 07:07 AM.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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