Hi, Guys.<P>Sheba - You're gonna love this one!<P>MIL just hung up. H stopped by her house for coffee this morning and told her this story.<P>H got back a little late Tuesday after dinner and conversation w/ me. Sweetie was waiting. <P>"oh, good. I'll fix you some dinner. Thought I'd do Pop Tarts and bacon, is that ok?" <P>"Well, don't go to any trouble, I'm not really hungry."<P>"Oh, did you and b stop for dinner on the way home - I already defrosted the bacon and everything!"<P>"Well, no, when we came out of the woods, Lori had a nice dinner almost ready, so we stayed and ate with them."<P>At this point, she started cussing, ran across the room and proceeded to attack him, fists flying everywhere. Now my H is a good-sized physically fit man, so he just held her arms until she was done.<P>Then she started crying and apologized. Said she couldn't stand it when he came over to see us.<P>Don't know many more details. Can't believe he didn't leave. Scares me some. There's nothing but trouble brewing there and he's gonna be in the middle of it.<P>But - what a way to lovebust!!! H told MIL that she was a stupid little b&*(**!!!!<P>OK, Lucks, there's something else to add to your thinking!!<P>Lori

Pop Tarts & bacon for dinner? What a chef!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

LOL. Poptarts and bacon. Hasn't she heard of macaroni and hot dogs? Spaghettios WITH meat?<BR>Fishsticks and french fries?<P>Once when the kids were preschoolers & H was not home I served bologna & popcorn, but those were their favorites at the time.<P>"The food is hot, brown, and there's plenty of it."<P>I'm sorry, Lori, it is a scary situation, but she's not so fluffy and cute now, is she? She's obviously not doing the "woman of his dreams" thing. <P>I'm still laughing...poptarts and bacon GACK! And then being a B on top of it.<P><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P>

Pop Tarts and Bacon? No wonder everyone thought she was preggers...<P>I cannot believe he would hang around for that kind of treatment, even with the promise of a good meal like that! HA! LOL<P>I love your MIL She sure keeps you in the loop!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited November 05, 1999).]

This is great! Wonder how she figured out how to defrost the bacon?

This girl is dangerous. But even I had to laugh about Pop Tarts and bacon. I felt bad about my spaghetti that night!!<P>MIL asked him (with a bit of profanity at this point) what he was still doing there then. Why didn't he go home? He said he could never go home, no matter how much he wanted to. She spent the next hour trying to reassure him, said he'd think about it.<P>Chris - thanks. That would make almost anyone else a gourmet cook, wouldn't it?<P>Lor - Do you BELIEVE that. Now, on lazy days, I've put together a few "quick" concoctions, but Pop Tarts and Bacon?? Wonder what flavor Pop Tarts?<P>Nope, not so much Sweetness and fluff at all.<P>Lori

I had to laugh at your story and I thought I was a bad cook!!<P>I also wanted to say that my H's OW has also "attacked" him in the past but he forgave her and said he understood because she was very upset!! He has hurt me, walked all over me, broken my heart over and over and I have never even thrown one thing at him, yet she can "attack" him but he understands because she was upset!! Makes me wonder about these OW and about the husbands!! At least with your story I have one more meal to add to the week's menu that I haven't tried before!!!

HA,HA,HA........<P>Strawberry or regular pop-tarts????<P>Well, Sounds like just the kind of place I would want to come home to...... NOT!<P>If that doesn't throw a little conflict into H's life I don't know what will. Good, Nice to know that she is helping you put a little bigger wedge in between them.<P><P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

She ran it through the dishwasher...!<P>Lor, had to laugh at the 'popcorn & baloney' dinner... my kids hate real food too - you wouldn't believe what we shovel at 'em sometimes!

NB - I guess we know where the extra 25# came from, huh? I wonder why he stays myself. MIL asked me a question, what do you think? H gave me their address last Saturday. Told me to start writing him there. Well, we know what kind of ruckus that's gonna start. And he didn't HAVE to tell her he ate with me, she gave him the perfect out. Maybe he WANTS to send her into tantrums?? Have her throw him out??? Give him a good reason to leave??? Whaddya think?<P>Sidney - LOL!! They don't have a microwave, so maybe just taking it out of the freezer wasn't too hard for her to handle! Man, I'm mean!!<P>Thanks, guys.

Haha!! HAHA!! HaHa!! hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!<BR>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!<P>lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol!!!!<BR>lolololololololololololololololol!!!<BR>LOLOLOLOLOLLOLLOLOLLOLOLLOLLOLLOLOLOL!!<P>(can't talk yet...have to catch breath!)<P>lolololololololololollollololol!!!<P>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH STUPID B@&@%!!!!<P>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!<P>

Lori,<P>I think you hit the nail on the head!! <P>I think he wants out but is being (sorry in advance of saying this) a bit of a coward and wants her to toss his butt out so he doesn't have to feel bad about it. <P>No matter what, the tide is definately turning in your favor. You keep being the sweet wonderful beautiful person WHO CAN COOK and he'll be back before the holidays, I think.<P>Hugs <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Pop-tarts and bacon? And she thinks this is DINNER?<P>Pathetic. Just pathetic. I guess at some point, being able to s*ck a golfball through a garden hose just doesn't cut it anymore.<P>Sheesh. That's the last time I make lamb curry, brown rice and sugar snap peas.<P>

Lori,<BR>WOW, makes ya wonder if she should even be allowed to use a stove or a toaster!!! <P>I must admit that I had poptarts for dinner the other night, but it's just me, and I didn't feel like cooking. <P>Maybe H gave you their address so you could mail food.... or so you would mail her a copy of "Cooking for DUMMIES" or something .... although, I don't think that would help her. Hopefully your H will get out before he gets food poisoning!<P>Sheba, I love it!!! LOL LOL LOL <P>Butterfly<BR> <P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

I think you need to invite him to dinner more often. Just be sure not to serve pop tarts and bacon!!!!! <BR>Did he say why he couldn't go home no matter what? Your mIL needs to find out why he feel that a way. I go ahead and write to his new address but also send some to his mother's. I bet sweetie won't let him have his mail. Be sure you tell him you sent some letter to his new address, so he can be sure and ask her where they are. Pop Tarts and Bacaon. That's too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

I thought it was pretty funny myself, but you guys have me laughing hysterically!!!<P>loveu - Honey, you can't be THAT bad! Unless you really DO add this to your menu!! Looks like she's forgiven too. He had talked w/ MIL and BIL all week about dinner tonight, but told MIL he wasn't sure he should now, he might not get out alive when he went home. <P>Hey, Rutger - now that would solve my problem.....can I send her to you???? LOL Don't worry - I'd NEVER do that to you. Now I see that the stuff about not cooking probably WAS true.<P>Sheba- Forget it! Laughing too hard!!!!<P>NB - no offense taken. "Coward" is the first word that popped into my head too. Hey, I'll take whatever I can get. We can fix the rest, right??<P>Dazed -I'm sorry, I just have to laugh. Thanks!<P>Butterfly - What about driving and voting???? I eat some strange stuff, too, but oh man! Remember, she asked mil for help in buying ingredients to make M&M cookies!<P>SDS - hey, I'll cook whenever I can. Same thing he told me Tuesday. Once he makes a decision, he never goes back. Only the weak return, yada, yada yada. I'm working on that part. I think I AM gonna start sending at least the cards to their house.

Lor,<P>I agree with new beginning - maybe he is just egging her on to get HER to throw him out. That way when he is gone, at least he won't have her crying/begging making him feel more guilty thatn he already does.<P>Also agree with SDS - cook and invote him over more. Sounds like he really enjoyed a good meal with his family.<P>I personally can relate to the part about H never looking back. I know mine feels that way - moving forward and making the forward move the "right decision". I think more than anything, this is these guy's pride talking. They just don't know how to come home and face the music and save face at the same time. They just don't get it about us - we don't care about all the past (except for not having it repeated!!!) - we just want to have these guys back in our ives in a meaningful, loving way. Too bad pride prevents some people from doing what they want and what they know is right in the long run.<P>Don't give up hope - your H is just trying to problem-solve himself out of this crazy mess he has gotten himself in!<P>Roll me Away

Poptarts and Bacon, Julia Child sit up and take notice!!<P>Brings to mind that scene in the movie "clueless" where Cher says men like to come home and smell something in the oven, or something like that. Anyway, the scene shows her dump an entire roll of premade refrigerated cookie dough on the cookie sheet, and shove it in the oven without even bothering to slice the cookie dough!<BR>Then the dingbat lets it burn! And the dork of the guy says "aww honey, you baked!"<P>I get the impression that's the way it is with this H and "sweaty" pie!<P>Along those lines, though, when my daughter was a toddler her favorite breakfast was scrambled eggs and strawberries, and her favorite lunch was tater tots and lettuce.<P>Looks like H has his castle on a fluffy cloud, but the cloud is dissipating and the whole house of cards is soon to come crashing down to earth.<P>She probably considers putting pop tarts in the oven "baking".<P>Wonder what gifts of repast she'll come up with for Thanksgiving and Christmas?? Boggles the mind!<P>Treat for Santa -- anchovies and marshmallows!

RMA - I think you guys are probably right. Make her solve his problem for him. Oh, well.<P>I try to get him over as often as I can. See, I never call him (ok, one emergency situation early on). I don't contact him at all except through cards and a weekly letter. He calls occasionally and comes over. At first he didn't want me to know his number or address. (OK, I snooped and I knew it anyway, just didn't USE it). Now all of a sudden it's, "call me whenever you want and send my letters and cards straight to me" AND "don't let d know that this is my girlfriend". Now isn't that interesting?<P>Oh, and BTW - funny how their greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses, isn't it?<P>lori

Well Lori, through all the poptart/bacon thing, we see good signs don't we? Very encouraging. Also, I love the fact that your in-laws are all so much on your side. I've followed alot of your story and that strikes me as a trememdous plus for you.<P>I'm still wondering why she would even FREEZE bacon in the first place. Does she buy it in bulk or something?<P>--andy

Lori<P>tee hee I'm STILL cracking up !!!! It takes time to read all these posts, ya know, but ..... Pop Tarts and Bacon!!! <P>No wonder he looks so bad!!! Poor guy is malnourished! Gosh, I sure hope that kid of hers still eats jars of baby food!!! At least that is healthy and balanced!!<P>Tell husband to make sure there is a healthy supply!!!<P>I think it is time to start calling him once or twice a month.... And it is perfect! D isn't supposed to know "Sweetie" (oh, and I can just picture her toothless in about 10 years....) is the girlfriend.....<P>"Hi, Bimbo!!! Is my daddy there? My mom and I have a problem with our stove, and we thought he could fix it!!! I know how he loves Mom's cooking, and we just gotta have that stove fixed!!!"<P>D can start a riot over there!!! <P>Geez, if your daughter went for visitation, not only would you have to pack clothes - you'd have to pack McDonald Gift Certificates as well!!!!<P>Incredibly Hilarious!~!

Tendervittles - the holidays? One shutters!!! Love the treats for Santa. I hope the cloud is fading away. Sure is better news than I've been getting! Thanks! (Anchovies and Marshmallows???? You never know!)<P>Airheart - I don't know what I would have done w/out my in-laws, especially MIL and BIL - they've been lifesavers! And a great support system. I hope you're right about the good signs - I'm a little afraid to be hopeful these days.<P>Hey, at least she didn't say she had to defrost the Poptarts.<P>Ok, all you guys make me feel better. When I got off the phone I was beating myself up for being so catty about the Poptart and Bacon thing. But it was a great release for me. I haven't laughed this hard in months. But you should've heard my MIL!!!!!!! <P>thanks,<P>Lori

Lori - I'm thinking of a way for you to make some money out of all this pain and craziness. How about collecting her recipes and putting them all together to make "The Sweetie Pie Cookbook"? I'll bet it would sell like, well, pop-tarts. (I think SHE'S a "pop tart"!) Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

TNT - glad you enjoyed this. I have to tell you, so did I after everyone got going. Felt so good to laugh and be just a little mean. Forgive me. I think you're right though. Hey, if he gives the the # and address and he tells me to use them, I ought to, huh? Whew!!<P>Wex - But what if that IS her entire book of recipes. 101 ways to serve Bacon and Poptarts! I like the new name - think I should change it from Sweetie to Pop tart???<P>Thanks.<P>Lori

Lori, I actually feel sorry for Sweetie. No don't send her to me.<P>Unfortunately, this only validates why your H has a problem leaving - she is helpless.<P>She doesn't need a husband she needs someone to care for her, to teach her independence. It seems like she has been abandoned by her family. Aren't there social workers who can help her or something. The relationship she thinks she has with your H is not what he thinks it is. He cares for her like a father. Please don't make fun of her to your H, but try to help him help her. Tell him you're proud of him for trying to help, but he shouldn't try to do it alone.<P>I made one suggestion on your other post, but now I think she needs more official help.<BR>Remember it's not about her but your husband, and then your marriage.

Thanks, Awoken. Getting out a few frustrations here. <P> You know, for a very long time, I felt sorry for her too. But she really hasn't been abandoned by her family. Her mother and stepfather live 3 blocks away. Helped her move, Supported her through the pregnancy, got her a job. Sweetie told H she adores her stepfather. She was very little when her own father left and SF married mom. And from what I understand, she's a pretty normal lady. The only difficulty they have is that she doesn't approve of the things that Sweetie does sometimes and doesn't hesitate to tell her. She sees her mom everyday and she babysits the little one whenever she is asked. BTW, when she and H decided she should move, she threw out her older brother who was living with her and wouldn't let him move in the new house with her. She does have another roommate, but she's gone a lot. Brother was taking the bulk of the expenses and stuff.<P>At first all of us (MIL included), bought the poor pitiful thing routine. A little snooping and catching her off guard showed that the bulk of it is an act. MIL was furious. <P>When she moved from the other house, she had all of her furnishings "taken to the dump" in anticipation of new things from H, because they "really weren't very nice". She also had a perfectly working car (not very new, but hey) and SOLD it to make herself more dependent on H. So for weeks he carted her around, before and after work. He repaired our Volvo and lent it to her to drive, but she wanted the car he was driving (mine) because she liked it better. That time he said no. No, I think that dependency and paternal instincts are the definite glue of this relationship, but I truly feel that a good part of it is simply fabrication on her part. Too many little things that show she is capable of a lot. But, that would mean she didn't need H.<P>The little one's paternal grandparents pay child support, are anxious to babysit whenever they can and have taken the little one on vaction, inviting Sweetie along. We found out (from Sweetie herself) that they helped w/ medical expenses and maternity clothes even before paternity was proven.<P><BR>I know this is about my marriage and H and I am very ashamed of myself (ok, just a little - I have been fairly gracious about my feelings toward her so far - she is very young.) I have never ever said one thing about her to him - actually never mentioned her until this past Tuesday and then I didn't say anything bad. I wouldn't. <P>But the more I find out about her, the more I think her vulnerability and helplessness are fake.<P>I'll check out your other post. Any suggestions would help. <P>Hey, and usually I'm not so mean, I just don't believe her anymore.<P>Thanks for the good advice. (And waking up my conscience again - it could use a good kick sometimes!!!)<P>Lori<BR><p>[This message has been edited by lostva (edited March 31, 2000).]

Lostva: My apologies for saying this, but after reading "her sweetness"(sarcastically said) version of supper and the replies from the other folks, I could not help myself. I was short of rolling on the floor. I needed a good laugh. Thank you. If he ever gets his act back together and gains confidence in himself, he will realize where he truly gains his strength and support and LOVE from. From you. Even though, I thought I could do it alone and maybe under different circumstances, I could, I realized after making a big fool out of myself, my strength and support was in my other half. I know it will take years before we can be healed and sometimes it is very hard for me, but listening to the goofball antics ms. sweetie pie does tickles me. She should take her show on the road. Don't worry he will wake up and hopefully will get the help that he needs. Poptarts and bacon. Her and Martha Stewart outta get along real well. HaHa! You know what sounds good right now? (coming from a bulimic, another sarcastic remark) BLT sandwich with a bowl of veggie soup, cream soda with crushed ice, in front of the TV watching "home for the holidays." Take care of yourself and have a great weekend! My love to you

Come on folks, this is serious. Imagine what those poptarts and bacon are doing to that poor guys system. Keep that up and there won't be much to take back when the time comes. Next time you see him slip him a can or two of beanie weenies. Now that has substance.<P>Flip

Thanks, Sobeit. Glad it got a chuckle out of you. Keep hoping the good hopes for us.<P>Flip - Stocking up on Beanie Weanies for the next time around!!!

OK - I think that I can attempt a response to this...this.....whatever!!!<P>LOLOLOLOLOL!! (stop it, sheba!)<P>Ahem....Now I have been known to fancy a pop tart or two in my day!! Actually, I find the Chocolate Fudge ones very fulfilling around the "once a month" time...(sorry gents!)...they can satisfy a craving like nothing else!!<P>I have also let my palette succomb to the wonderfully delicious, but ever so fattening, bacon strips .... especially when accompanied by some perfectly browned french toast!!<P>I will admit....with shame....that I have had these two very different - yet satisfying - taste sensations in my mouth at the same time.....in the form of CHOCOLATE MILK!!!! Yes, I have chocolate milk with french toast and bacon.....I am humbled!!! lollollol!!<P>However, I have been pondering the complexities of just how poptarts and bacon (teeheeteehee!!) are presented to titillate the recipient's eye as well as their pallette!!<P>I have come to the conclusion that - the bacon is placed - ever so symmetrically - on top of one poptart and then the second poptart is gently placed over the bacon "filling" to form a perfect "sandwich" like meal!! <P>I am afraid, and embarassed, to admit that my preparation skills are lacking....for I am mystified as to whether the frosted sides face inward - thus, trapping the bacon within it's delicate sweetness : or would the absorbative cookie like sides need to blanket the bacon to capture the drippings? Hmmm? <P>Perhaps they are both placed with frosting facing upwards thereby accomplishing both functions at once!!! <BR>AHA!!!! I think I am onto something here!! <P>I find it ingenious that the poptart people foresaw this creation and conveniently placed TWO Poptarts in each of the stay fresh packs within a box!!!! <P>Now to get marketing for this creation so that the defrosting of bacon (which is: oh so time consuming and inconvenient) is eliminated.....one perplexing dilemma remains however.....<P>What do you serve to quench one's thirst and enhance the savory goodness of this creation's every bite? <P>Perhaps we can explore the world of "sweetie" and bask in what wisdom she can offer.......<P>HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<P>LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!<P>oh-oh - I have to come back again!!<P>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!<BR>LOLOLOLOLOLOLololololololol......<BR> <p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited November 05, 1999).]

Guess you can tell only real strong men can admit wihen they make a mistake. If he is like most men that will go right over his head. Be sure and fix all of his favorite foods. You might even send a doggie bag with him just enough for one. That should make the spark fly. By the way how about PoP's Tart for a nickname?<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Sheba is a <B>VERY, VERY BAD GIRL</B> and should not come out and play unless she can say something nice about the culinary efforts of said Pop's Tart (that one was GREAT SDS!). <P>Sheba, I think we'll give you 40 lashes with a limp piece of bacon... hahahaha<P>Oh Lori, did ya ever have ANY idea that we'd have so much fun with this??? Poor, poor sweetie... and I definately think her name should be changed to "Pop's Tart" - a CLASSIC! <P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

OMG!!!<P>After reading Sheba's post (Can't wait until she comes back ha ha)<P>I am absolutely laughing so loud and so hard, my grandson (who is one) thinks he is funny! He's walking back and forth laughing,<BR>I'm laughing - oh no I never had such a laugh!!!<P>Maybe we should send the recipe to Martha Stewart!!!!<P>OMG I can still picture Sweetie toothless in 10 years ha ha ha ha ha

What.... (whiney) I was nice!!<P>But NB, I left out the B&@#*! part!!!<P>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!<BR>HAHAHAHAHAhhahahahaha!!

SSHHEEBBAA!!!!! If NB won't let you play, c'mon down here! I definitely think that you are thinking WAYYY too much these days though!!! don't worry - I remembered the b%#% part!!!<P>SDS - I think the new name is great!! PT for short, right? Tried the strong men thing. Missed it completely. <P>NB - remember you must DEFROST the bacon first - then it's perfectly limp!! No, I knew that MIL had a blast with it (actually, I was in awe for a while, but she'd had a couple of hours to get her wheels turning!!)<P>TNT - pull yourself off the floor!!! At least you're amusing your grandson! Before we send the recipe, we must find out the exact cooking time and preparation methods. Toothless - I do like that image!<P>You guys are great!!! (Naughty, but great!)<P>Lori

Hi Lori -<P>I've been waiting for you....<P>What happened about dinner tonight?<P>Hugs, <P>Sheba<P>PS - I can't help it if I have to amuse myself while I am waiting......

OMG, you are not going to believe this. I just turned the TV on to hear Daryl Hughley say "and we invented the Pop Tart with the "forbidden fruit" filling!! Started me up all over again!<P>H was a no show. Knew he would be. Obviously tempted by more savory culinary delights than our seafood dinner. <P>Had a nice time, though. Sent his b-day presents home. PT (I gotta try it a few times anyway!) will have a FIT when she reads the card!!! Mush city!!<P>BTW, did I tell you I found out she THREW AWAY my anni card from him. He told me, but mom confirmed, she admitted it!!<P>You had WAYY too much fun without me though. Don't stop now that I'm back.<P>Lori

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!<BR>HAHAHAhahahahahahahahahaha!<P>Forbidden Fruit Filling....!!!<P>hahahahahahalololololololhahahahaha!!!<P><BR>hahahahahahahah (oh, stop!!!) hahahaha!<P>lolololololololol!!!<P>Now I have to revise my recipe to include jelly!!!!!<P>lololololololololol!!!!!<P>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!<P>I guess "Sweetie" really is too sweet!!!<P>lolololololololollollol!!! Gosh, I can't breath!!! ...........<P>hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!<P>

MY, my Sheba - what did that "smudging" do for you????<P>

Actually, I was calming down and then you had to go and talk about the commercial.....teehee!!!<P>So the little (bleep) ripped up your Anniversary card, eh? I knew she did something to it!!!!<P>Glad you now know for sure that it did exist.......<P>How did you "send" his present and card to their address.....through mail or person?<P>What is the story with H going to build the fence at your bro's place? Is that going to materialize ya think? I think that would be a great opportunity for H to get a breather and a change of scenery to wake up to!!!<P>H will be OK, Lori!!! He has to wade through this mess...I know that you worry (like I do about mine!) but you must also remember that he created it!<P>He will come out of this with (God Willing) a better understanding of himself and what exactly the true meaning of love is....which is surrounding him through you and his family......<P>If that happens....I won't minimize by saying it's worth it., but I will say that God knew you could handle it as well as you have.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hee, hee, hee, hee!

Maybe we need to be smudged too if it does that for you. If its forbidden fruit must be the apple. My daughter said she would put it on our menu for next week. Defrosted the bacon no micorwave hmmmmmm wonder how she did that. All sorts of pictures come tomine. You don't suppose......naaaa never mind. I like PT for short.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Ew!!! - SDS the pictures that you brought to my warped mind .......LOL!!!<P>You're getting baaaaaddd!!!!<P>I like it!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Must be that second glass of wine. I think I better stop, drinking that is. But I know all the pictures that popped into my head.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

HI,<BR> I had to put a man's perspective in. Frankly, pop Tarts and Previously frozen bacon is VERY EROTIC to a man. <P> <BR>Sorry, couldn't resist! <BR> Let's PRAY this LUNE doesn't "BOIL A RABBIT NEXT!!! GET IT????? <BR> <BR> WHAT COMPETITION? FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<P>EROTIC? Oh, PH you are tooooo funny!!<P>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!<BR>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<P>Shush about the rabbit...or we'll be hearing about rabbit soup and malomars!!<P>LLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!<BR>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha!!<P>

Oh....my.....god......HEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHEHEHEHEE. There was no END to the fun of this post!!!! Matter of fact, ahem..I'm still scrolling....you know when something's REALLY funny and you accidentally add that snort sound? Oops.<P>POP'S TART!!!! I vote YES to the new name!!!! <P>And one of our esteemed friends, I can't REMEMBER who through all these PAGES (heehee) suggested it's time to start calling H at PT's house. I second that motion. Matter of fact, no matter who answers. Say, quickly, and right on top of the "hello?"------"HONEY? I was just think--oh, sorry....is H there?" I'll bet the mail idea at both places will accomplish a lot too...and better! A little enticement in mail to MIL's..."I forwarded something very special to you at PT's, couldn't wait for you to see it...." He'll not be too cozy about her destroying mail then!<P>The final WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD thought I just had--did I think about NOT saying it? Sure...but you know I will anyway. You COULD always tell H that although it's a highly unusual situation, you UNDERSTAND his feelings of protectiveness for PT...heck, you do TOO, let's just move the whole kit-n-kaboodle to YOUR house!!!! (Or, put MIL up to MENTIONING to PT that you suggested that to H and he was considering. Imagine the feathers!--fluttering down to stick on the poptarts a la bacon drippings that she will serve as an appetizer.)<P>You're doing great, Lori. Hang on to that sense of humor!<BR>

Ok, someone had to go and mention Martha Stewart! NOW, I have to post this....<BR>Dear Santa,<P>I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.<P><B>I want to slap Martha Stewart.</B><P>Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it.<P>Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner.<P>We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18 carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety.<P>We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.<P>OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.<P>We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart Living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."<P>The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker?<P>In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher, that qualifies as "put away" in my house!<P> Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves, mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.<P>She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s", and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."<P>Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation.<P>Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Albright and Maya Angelou, no doubt).<P>The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.<P>A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.<P>If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?<P> When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back.<P>"Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha. And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives.<P>There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year. You probably want to smack her yourself.<P>Mrs. Everybody<P><BR>LOL.... LMBO! <BR>B<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

I hope you were kidding about the pop tarts & bacon YUCK!!<P>Poor thing - did it upset her that he was with you. GOOD!! <P>Sounds like you have a supportive MIL - believe me you are lucky.<P> magoskid

OK, one more time (I keep getting wiped out!)<P>Sheba - sent his presents by BIL. They're having a party tomorrow for him and his sister (I wanna gooooooo - whine)<P>Don't know about going to B's. They used to be close, but 3 months ago, he hated him. 'Course he hated me too. <P>Keep praying for him. God ain't done w/ him yet!!<P>Ani - my sentiments exactly.

SDS - OOOHHHH those pictures. I'm getting as bad as you and Sheba!! I'm sorta getting used to PT, too.<P>Frank - erotic??? You mean I've been doing it wrong all these years??? "Boil a rabbit"!!! too much! Yep, this is serious competition - now I'm getting a complex!!!

Snorting Lucks - I think I will at least start sending cards there. Maybe I'll call if I need to. We'll see. <P>At first your image of me, D, H, and PT all here gave me shudders, but I giggled when I read the rest. Told you this would give you something to think about!!!<P>Butterfly - I LOVE that MS post!!! Printing that one off!!!<P>Mag - not kidding, not at all. No wonder he's been sick for 3 months, huh? Wish me luck here. And yes, my MIL is wonderful - and such a pip!!<P>Have a good weekend guys.<P>Lori

Alright, enough already. You guys are really starting to scare me Do you really want me to have to eat pop tarts and bacon for dinner toinght You're giving hopeful too many ideas. Stop

Why ES, we were hoping Hopeful would read this and prepare a special meal for you!!!<P>Lori

Y'know, reading these posts is really entertaining!<P>Anyway, just had to comment that this story was very similar to a storyline years ago on a soap opera I used to watch. This girl had her eye on a cute guy, but he was married already. Didn't stop her, she got him drunk and the inevitable happened. She had been a strong independant woman, but once the pee pee turned blue she acted like Sampson with a crew cut.<P>In the story though, the H and W turned the tables. When she called them saying she had no food in the house and she was hungry, they called a supermarket that delivered. When she complained that she was so tired all the time and couldn't clean her house, W hired her a live in maid. Then when she whined that she needed the H because she couldn't raise the baby alone, they had a lawyer friend of theirs go over with official looking papers for her to sign giving them permanent custody of the baby. Definitely not what she wanted, but that particular H was not going to leave his W under any circumstances.<P>Maybe next time Sweetie needs H, you should send over a maid, and a vibrator.<P>If she's that incapable of taking care of trivial everyday needs, and she has a child you say? Then maybe an anonymous call to cps telling them you're a concerned neighbor and worried that she isn't capable of taking proper care of that baby would be the wake up call she needs. (that's what'd I do, but then again, I can be a witch if I need to be)<P>If it is an act, then at that point her true colors will really show. If it turns out that it isn't an act after all, then that home is the last place that baby needs to be.<P>Also, maybe you should start doing things in twos - writing letters, sending cards - etc. Send one to his house, and another duplicate to MIL's, only put on the one going to MIL's that this is a duplicate in case he didn't get the one you sent to his house. (nasty nasty me!)

lostva - I really wanted to cook that special meal for Empty Shell. I just have one clairfication; was the bacon cooked or just thawed?<P>ES wouldn't let me cook that for him though. I wonder why????

Tendervittles - Believe me, all your suggestions have, at one point or another, crossed my mind. I'm still wondering why she doesn't have full custody of her daughter. I do believe her true colors are finally coming out. At least, I HOPE so. Gonna start writing there - just to see what happens!!! Probably hear her all the way here!!!<P>Hopeful - I forgot to ask if she cooks it first!!! How silly of me? You tell ES if you go to that much trouble, he'd just better eat it and enjoy it!!!<P>Have a good Sunday, guys!<P>Lori

lostva -- I didn't say I wouldn't eat it if she made it. But please, if I've been that bad, just give me bread and water instead. OK I'll even settle for moldy bread and muddy water, but not pop tarts and bacon. Please

ES - Teehee!!!

Lori - Exactly how old IS Sweetie Pie (aka Pop Tart)? Don't recall if you ever gave us an exact figure, but from your description, it sounds like she's a teenager. That does complicate things. Gee, your H's family and her family both sound pretty tolerant of the situation, all things considered. I'm glad you can look at it with a sense of humor. There is something a bit absurd about the whole mess. Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Hi Wex. Finally found out her exact age. Turned 23 on 10/29. D is 2, be 3 next summer. Not as young as she looks or I thought, but pretty young. <P>Not as dependent as she seems either.<P>Note to all: I wanna thank you guys for this one. Yesterday was H's b-day and today is the party for him and his sister (3 days apart). I've been pretty close to miserable. 5 or 6 times I've come here and pulled up this thread, not to bash PT (I do love that) but just to change my train of thought and laugh a little through my tears. It's done more good than you'll ever know.<P>Oh, and today I mailed my FIRST letter to their address. Listen for the ruckus!<P>Lori<p>[This message has been edited by lostva (edited November 07, 1999).]

Glad it helped but you know waht I keep coming here to for a laugh. It certainly helps doesn't it!!!! I'm kind of partial to the name PT too. Yuck she is the almost the same ages as my daughter she will be 24 next month. Hey I wonder if her father willsend her a card, after all he was there whenshe was born.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

SDS - glad I'm not the only one! I do hope he remembers to send her a card....it would be very sad if he didn't. Hey, you never know, right?<P>Lori

PT is too cute.<P>I like the name toothless.

You know how you said you hope he remembers the card? Reminds me of how much we do for them.... they need us for those little, though important things! Why can't they see that?<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

TNT you make me laugh. I'd rather SEE her toothless - today especially.<P>NB - you'd think they would, wouldn't you? How quickly they forget. <P>How are you guys doing? <P>Lori

To the top for Lora.

A CLASSIC LORI!! I'll remember this thread till the day I die!!! THANKS FOR THE RE-RUN!!<BR> FRANK<BR>P.S. Is the sequel "Fried Green Pop-Tarts" on video yet???

Lostva, <P>She is really LB'ing. I know this reply is kinda late but I have been having alot of problems with my internet service as of late or maybe it has been the forum but anyway.<P>Be as nice as you can be, let her do all the LB'ing for you and just sit back and wait.<P>As far as your H not leaving....<P>1. Where would he go?<BR>2. What are the chances that she would follow and make a bigger scene?<P>This will get very old, very fast. Don't you worry, he said it himself she's a %*^#^%!<P>Stay strong and be the most lovable self you can be.<P>Genie

Hi Lori,<P>I've read about this thread so many times, and never understood PT. Now I do, <P>what a hoot. Couldn't stop giggling at some of the replies, Sheba's cyber laughing had me laughing too. How can you laugh at someone that you can't even hear, but I could just imagine it. I love laughing, I think it's one of the best things that can happen in your day.<P>The line about Fried Green Poptarts (in MB - the Movie) still cracks me up - now I understand a little better !!!<P>To the un-initiated (ie, me) - what are poptarts ? Sweet ??<BR>Obviously something that does NOT go with bacon !!!<P>How are you today, is he still coming to you for sustanence?? Sounds like he needs to.<P>Thanks for the laughs, I sure needed it tonight.<P>I'm lonely, had an argument with MIL (she's got HER head up her butt too, this is all MY fault as far as MIL & FIL are concerned.)<P>Am I going nuts or what here.<P>Oh well, I have Joe Cocker playing on the computer CD, he'll lift me !!!<P>big hugs to you<P>Jo

Genie - thanks. Brought this up to the top for a couple of folks who'd asked how PT got her name. Besides, it's good for a chuckle!!<P>I don't figure he'd come home. Most likely a family member's house. And yes, she's the type that could REALLY be some trouble. So MIL's working on that part. Sometimes I don't even wanna know!!!<P>Jo - Good, I'm glad you found out. Now, what is a PopTart???<P>It's a convenience breakfasty type thing. Thin and square, fruit or chocolate or vanilla filling with icing on one side. You pop them in the toaster for a sec to heat 'em up. Kids love 'em. And Sheba loves the choco ones!!!Really nutritious fare!!!!<P>How are you doing lately anyway?<P>Lori

very sad,<P>very confused,<P>lost all hope,<P>in-laws angry with me for leaving the state,<P>they imply that I was in the wrong for leaving<P>everybody seems to be against me.....<P> poor,poor, pitiful me..... (isn't that a song ?????)<P>HOWEVER,<P>fried green poptarts still raises a smile from the old Joey today !!!!!!!<P>hugs to you, happy girl, keep that smile<P>Jo

To the top for Studentwife.<P>Hope you enjoy it.<P>lori