Can you cut that back to 3 paragraphs??

I know, right?

Do you see all my passive aggressive jabs in there?

Some insults to throw her off balance, some compliments to stroke her inflated ego and self-importance, some questions to get her thinking and hopefully responding...keeping her engaged in the conversation and some traps.

You can't learn them...but this WW isn't walking away without a token of my appreciation.

It's a bad idea...isn't it? It only took me 10 hours...lol.

Mr. W

O...M...G... MrW that is EPIC. Haha. Thanks so much for typing that up.

Should I really send that? (edited like you said, of course).

I honestly am feeling myself get to the breaking point, so sending that would feel *really* good.

As far as the church. I left the Mormon church a long time ago. I've never had anything against the church. In fact I live by most of its teachings still. I've never believed or not believed in it. I've just never been very religious.

DO NOT SEND IT.

Start focusing on your own recovery.

I am most definitely focusing on myself A LOT. Just finished making myself a delicious chicken dinner, and just finished lifting weights. Am now enjoying watching NBA playoffs.

There are some brilliant MrW passive aggressive jabs in there! Good job!

Thought of one more thing to add someplace in there...


On one hand, the fact we searched all over town spending hours looking at homes to find the perfect home for our future family is a pretty good indication you weren't having second thoughts about our future at that moment and on the other hand, if you were, why the heck did you bother getting US in this financial position owning TWO homes before deciding, without ever consulting or discussing it with me even though you supposedly discussed it with everyone else for like years, to leave me. Oh, that's right.... just another coincidence. Evidently, the timing of your decision making started immediately after we closed on the second home but just before your relationship with OM commenced. Such bad luck.

FYI, I am putting both houses up for sale asap. Part of any potential divorce settlement will necessarily include squaring up on and splitting any losses WE incur on such sales. It would be great if we made a few bucks but after commissions I find that unlikely. Be advised now that I'll likely be demanding a lump sum payment from you before I sign off (I'm not going to risk bankruptcy) so either start saving now or maybe your parents or OM will be able to help you out. No hurry, you've got plenty of time. We could all get second jobs but if we end up divorced don't expect me to single-handedly maintain your credit worthiness at my financial detriment.

Sending a text have a nice day is plan A.

Getting in tit for tat arguments proving who is right is plan another plan A-. As in plan on being alone. Going solo. Dating Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters. Keep up the bad work.

Now if you want to plan A. Do you? Then you must learn that you can not educate a WW. Stop trying to engage her in arguments. Explaining anything to a WW is fighting with her because you are disagreeing with her. All you do is fuel her justififcation to paint you as an A++hole.

No sane woman deserves an A++hole for a husband. Her logic does not have to convince anyone except WW.

This is you plan A'ing

Keep doing this until you realize it hurts.

Still trying to educate a WW.

Is there a Special Ed Forum.

Educating is not plan A'ing.
Too much contact is appearing needy, which is not plan A.

I hope some day soon you stop making me look like a MB Einstein.

And with a big DUH. Followed by WW do not plan A. WW's never plan A. So why do you think your WW behavior should be normal?



Again, So why do you think your WW behavior should be normal?

OJ- Road is right on target here.

The other point is that you are making things more difficult for yourself.

You have exposed, you have shared you thoughts, you have apologized for past mistakes and promised a bright future.

She is telling you to back the heck off.

I know your head is spinning but honestly from the outside looking in...I can see why she thinks you are really going to the extreme at this point.

I encourage you to just Back Off-Completely. Give it 2 weeks with no communication at all and then evaluate the situation again.

do you guys have any MB helmets I can wear?

haha. You know, I felt like a punching bad bag for about 1-1/2 years before I got my mind right with all this MB stuff.

We are all pulling for you! You seem like a good person and your future is bright however this shakes out with or without you WW.

I fought for my M for a LONG time...it is paying off now.

Truthfully, if I didn't have kids in the mix...I most likely would have walked away. My FWW did such a fine job of draining her LB balance with me it wouldn't have been that hard to do...Except for what I knew the future would be for our lives if we went the D route.

You don't have kids. No one would blame you for throwing in the towel.

IF you did start R my friend, that is only the beginning of your struggles.

You up for at least 2-5 years of a MAJOR effort with Zero guarantees of success to heal this thing if you were to reunite?

Have not contacted my wife at all today. She texted me asking for some info so she could wire me money. I am even going to wait until tonight to text her back about that. With me being so silent, she will definitely be wondering what I am up to.

What's up OJ? You doing ok?

Ya.. I'm okay. I just made a decision yesterday I know you guys would disagree with me on after meeting with my lawyer, hence my silence. I can't afford two lawsuits. I can't afford to make this divorce super expensive AND file a lawsuit against OM. I feel like filing a lawsuit against OM is my BEST CHANCE to end their affair. Right *now* my wife is willing to walk away from the marriage and not take a single dime from me. Tactically, I need to take advantage of that current mind-set that she has. There are no laws that say we can't get re-married in the future. My lawyer has taken the papers she has given me, and he's going to re-draw them up with some stipulations, as he didn't like some of the wording.

After the D-papers are signed and processed, we are then going to sue OM. At that point my wife will not have any legal power over me, so I won't give two sh**** about her getting mad about me suing him.

Tactical reasons aside, I feel I need to start protecting myself from this madness. I know compared to some of you, my 2 months experience doesn't seem like much, but I just feel done. If I had kids, or I was older, I would have pushed this much much further.

I am drafting up a final good-bye letter to my wife. A lot of its content have been plagiarized from Mr.W's novel a few pages back, heh. I will post it when it is done. I am not going to send her the letter until the Divorce is final. Until then, I will still plan-A her as best I can. I will be very nice to her, plant little seeds, etc. Maybe even send her flowers one more time.

Who knows? Maybe between now and then the letters I sent to her business will have an effect. Maybe the affair will crumble? Probably not, but who knows.

I wish I could be there to see the look on OM's face when WS tells him she is officially divorced, while simultaneously opening a letter telling him he's being sued for alienation of affection.

OJ- These are all your decisions to make. No one would blame you one bit for walking away. What your W did is the most horrible thing anyone could do to a spouse.


R is hard..very hard. Honestly, you are making the same decision I think I would make in your shoes.

Hang around the forum though. Lots to learn about how to be a great person!

I plan on it. And this isn't over yet, I am sure. I just find it so hard to believe that after 10 years of having what I perceived to be a loving relationship, she could just forget about it so easily. What I am giving up on is making sure I am there for her when she hits bottom. I may be, I may not be. If I am single when she calls me up wanting to talk about things, I will be willing to enter into dialogue.

After this is over, if she never contacts me again, it will be a true testament to how stubborn she really is. Either that or she truly has become a sociopath.

Like MrW said. After awhile she is going to look back and realize how hard I fought for her, and how much I truly cared about her.

It's been a few days since I've had any contact with her, so I just sent her that text I wanted to send awhile ago about coming home from business trips, and how excited we were to see each other. I expect a bad response, but that's okay. Like someone said earlier - no one on this planet can blame me for being nice and loving.

I'm going to give it another few days before I send her anything else. Probably not until Monday at least.

If things aren't going smoothly in A land, I can only hope her seeing these sweet memory invoking texts every once in awhile will start to push through the fog a little bit.