Does that still apply if it is a month to month lease like the one I have?
My landlord is the one who suggested this.

Landlords often don't understand the laws themselves.

I'm not sure what state you are in but a landlord must always provide a minimum notice to tenants (usually 30 day) if they are choosing to evict, even month to month.

Since you are short on funds, contact your local state's rental department/information lines and they can give you further info but your landlord's proposal sounds illegal.

Sorry to hear Cherry about Your confirmation of the affair. I know it hurts.

So you're putting the lease in just your name?

Do you have your exposure list ready?

As alias pointed out please carry the VAR on you at all times. If your safety is at risk please have an exit plan ready okay? A bag packed and get out to a safe place and then file a RO.

Please make sure your evidence is in a safe place.

She's in KS.

Well technically he's NOT evicting. I am terminating our month to month lease and then deciding to re-instate. Idk.

Ok good. Does your WH have to consent to this because of his name on the lease?

Kansas requires 30 day written notice from a landlord to remove a tenant from month to month lease. If he terminates the lease today, your husband won't have to leave until end July. A month to month is a month to month, not day to day.

He can terminate your existing month to month, give husband 30 days notice written, then on that day sign a new lease with just you on it - but you technically don't exist as the sole tenant until the 30 days are over.

Ok. I am currently seeking an attorneys advice just to make sure that all is good and legal...however I do not have 1,000 right now to pay. Syphoning money in small increments to remedy this. The landlord said since I was the primary on the lease I had a right to do that? Gotta be sure...since my husband is a cop.

Now currently have running internet at home and trying to find a free keylogger to install. He IS planning to meet the OW so time is kinda against me right now. Plans to next weekend ( from what I heard on the recorder) ANY ADVICE?

Are you doing this to get more evidence?

Are you waiting to expose until you have a safe place to live?

I am waiting to expose until I can speak with an attorney about the lease...also I do not want to see him when he is served. I want the lawyer to present the papers and I do not want to be there. I also want a restraining order. my wh. knows exactly what to do or say to sway me therefore I do not want to even be around. I will stay with a friend. During the time I am waiting to hear back on whether or not I qualify for legal assistance I may as ask be gathering as much proof as I can. be does a great deal of his communication through Facebook chat...I want that password.

I don't know all the details but it seems Cherry has confronted WH. He has admitted to kissing OW but hasn't denied more has happened. He chalked it up to suicidal tendencies that OW "saved" him from and now he loves her. *blech*

What a load of crap! Cherry is struggling to stay on course since WH has always struggled with suicidal thoughts, and she doesn't want to push him over the edge. I told her that she is owning things that are not her responsibility. She cannot MAKE someone kill himself, and the consequences of his affair(s) are a result of his actions alone.

Cherry is hurting, of course.

Here is my suggestion for plan of action:

1)EXPOSE far and wide TODAY! -starting with his work & OWs husband
2)get the info off of the VARs and put them back into place (be especially careful where you hide them since he's going to think that you've been recording him somehow based on the info you gave him)
3)install a keylogger
4)get together a list of EPs (extraordinary precautions) that will have to be in place for the marriage to recover

That's enough to think about for now.

Cherry, you are strong. You are capable of loving WH enough to hold him accountable.

He needs your help to come out of this.

I agree with the plan you gave her, amigos.

We are here for you, cherry.

Cherry, if your husband threatens suicide, call 911. If he's serious, he'll get the help he needs. If he's not, he may think twice before making false threats again.

Yes, this is the right approach for suicide threats.

I honestly believe he did more than "kiss her". Also, he may be using the "suicide card" because he was found out and now is panicking. Throwing that card out there allows him to cake eat because Cherry now believes if he does commit suicide its her "fault", nevermind his screwing around with his wife's love and marriage. Dr. Harley has constantly said people in the throes of an affair are depressed becuase they are committing an act they know is awful but can't stop due to the addiction of the affair.

My WW is suicidal as well and I do believe she will attempt suicide again once POSOM dumps her. Is it my fault that she does? Negative, she's an adult and is responsible for her poor choices and actions. I understand how you may feel Cherry but you can't control his actions, guess what I am saying is STAY THE COURSE.

Ok. WH has expressed that he wants to work on the marriage.

He texted me
" I just got done taking an assessment in regards to our marriage. It was specifically to see my own strengths and weaknesses. I realize I have a lot fewer strengths that I thought and a lot more weaknesses than I thought. I will start to work on these immediately now that I have a starting focus on where I need to improve. I'm sorry for how I've been. I despise myself and don't understand how things happened. I'm gonna figure this out and I'm gonna fight for your love again. You're still the best thing that ever happened to my life. I wanna treat you the way I did when we first met. Please book that seminar in September. I wanna go. I hope I can earn your forgiveness. I know it wont be easy. I'm gonna try though."

I told him all contact with OW MUST STOP. He said ok. I told him that I will be letting him know what I expect... what I require. I told him to take the lock off of his phone and to give me his passwords to his email. He has deleted his facebook page. Taken the lock off of his phone, and is deleting his email. In addition he said,

"I talked to a guy named Kelly with mental health today ( to set up apt for personal counseling to deal with his thoughts of suicide) I've also taken the lock off my phone. I wont have a password anymore. Ive also taken all of the women out of my phone unless its family or work related. I wont talk to women anymore. I'm trying to make more guy friends. You will be the only woman I open up to anymore."

I have told him I WILL NOT SUFFER THROUGH THIS AGAIN! So I told him that we will sit down and there will be extraordinary precautions in place to keep him and I accountable. I have been looking for a list on here that I can print off easily to be able to SHOW him what I expect. What I REQIRE. Does anyone have any ideas?

I know I will still be recording. And now that he's taken the lock off his phone.. I can download a sms tracker. Which one is best?

He did apologize to me after I told him that I did not want him to say that he loved me. He was not allowed to tell me that as long and he said it to her. He felt really hurt and I slept away from home last night and pretty much left him high and dry as far as getting a ride to and from work. I needed him to see what it would be like without me. I told him what I wanted him to do and so far he "seems" compliant.

Has he agreed to send a No Contact letter? That is a biggie. If he refuses, that means he is not serious and wants to continue his affair.

The very first thing that must be done is for him to write a No Contact letter that you approve and you mail. Then he has to change all his contact info so that OW can't contact him again. No Contact Letter Samples

As for Extraordinary Precautions: All the conditions that led to your H's affair must be eliminated.

Plus, here's the ones we have in place:

1.) No contact ever again with Affair Partner
2.) Total Transparency:
a. Email passwords shared
b. Accounting for all time and money
c. Eliminate all social networking sites, except for shared FB account
3.) No communicating with a female in any other way than the necessary professional manner needed for work
4.) No intimate conversations with a female (no conversations about anything personal, such as likes, dislikes, marriage, music, etc)
5.) No flirting, no inappropriate conversations or jesting.
6.) No terms of endearment of any kind, except for those in our immediate family.
7.) No business mentoring with a woman.
8.) Women must be at least an arm's length away.
9.) No porn, no �adult� clubs or shops, no chat rooms
10.) No nights apart.
11.) No recreational activities with the opposite sex.
12.) No interactive online games.

Ask all your questions about the affair; your H can write a timeline, too.After all the questions have been answered to your satisfaction, don't bring up the affair again.

Not talking about the greatest tragedy of your life is very very difficult, but I assure you that discussing it will not make either of you feel any better about. It will make both of you feel worse.

Will your H agree to sign up for the Online Seminar? It's a really good recovery program and you will have the help of a coach, plus access to the invaluable private forum, where you can access Dr. Harley directly.

Restoration of the marriage to a place that is much BETTER than the pre-A marriage is VITAL. Once you and your H are in love again and your marriage is wonderful, your resentment will fade. The process is a roller coaster of emotions, and expect it to take at least a couple of years minimally, with both of you on board.

Did you expose?