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The business about people changing their values is very distressing, but true. We unconsciously form most of our values and beliefs based on our behavior, when it should be the other way around.
Regarding feeling that the affair partner is a gift from God, this is an amazing perversion of something I believe God gave us for our good. We were MADE by God to fall in love, and when we are in love, it makes us feel like the lover is "from God." This is a GOOD and BEAUTIFUL thing in marriage, where God intended it. In fact, Dr. Harley has cited research that shows that happily married couples are more likely to have a belief in God. I've always found that amazing.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I'm reading through the piehole thread. It is entertaining and sad at the same time.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Posted on the piehole thread. Included several things. BTW, she is calm now and speaking about reconciliation again. She said, "I hope we can get through this soon" and even commented to our 12 year old (privately) that she may want to move our family to Texas without OM (I've been talking about moving to TX since before our separation). I'm not getting my hopes up based on this, but it is a sign that something is changing. What hurts me is when she talks about OM and thinks that it shouldn't hurt me. The positive is that because she talks to me about him, I can see evidence of the A beginning to fall apart. The 12 year old commented on the FB post mentioned earlier and she pulled it down as a result. I know it made her feel terribly guilty because he posted, "Do you think this is what I want? I don't want this and neither do my siblings!!" She responded with "Facebook isn't the right place to talk about this..." <um... she posted it on Facebook, he just responded to it> and then the next day it was gone.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Listen to the good advice with the discernment God has given you...
You are in my prayers. Hosea? Um... why did you say "Hosea?" I'm curious because I don't think I ever posted in the forums the specifics of the prophetic dream I had almost 16 years ago. Did I mention Hosea somewhere else? One day I will post my dream and everything that followed. It's a neat story and it all started with Hosea chapter 3.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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agapelover, I haven't prayed much in the last few years...your story struck me as particularly sad and I felt compelled to offer up prayers...
Not to sound all woo woo or anything but Hosea came to mind as I prayed. I got the Bible out and looked up Hosea, I was going to write more about it and put my spin on it pertaining to your situation...I came to realize however, it wasn't for me; "Hosea?" was for you. Hence the question mark...
Keep your faith and lean on God's direction.
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Depression
by ClarencePeterson - 09/22/24 11:19 AM
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