I do believe he needs to work on his depression first. but at the same time he's wanting me to recognize his problems with me in this marriage too and I'm not gonna even begin to try that until I know he's clean and can prove. to me in a polygraph what he is saying. if he or I have herpes its divorce for me...if he doesn't and I don't...and I can find out the truth...maybe...maybe we have a shot....
I heard your show yesterday. You're right in following up with the depression first before the polygraph. I would get checked for STDs immediately, and also call your husband's doctor regarding the depression. A psychiatrist would be best.
There are some really good medications out there with very few unpleasant side effects that are very effective. It make take a two to four weeks to obtain the full results, allowing your H to think more clearly and realistically. When the depression is lifted, that would be a good time to schedule the polygraph; then he'll be better able to deal with the questions.
You might also consider taking ADs for a few months to help see you through this. They don't make you feel strange or drugged. They help balance the brain chemicals and even out the highs and lows, which may make it a little easier to avoid those angry outbursts.
Avoid taking any of the blame for his affair. That was all on him. When the first few steps are behind you: depression under control, STD testing out of the way, and the polygraph done so you have the truth, then you make your decision as to staying and working on restoration of your marriage or divorcing.
One step at a time....
